Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

I wonder who the snitch would have 'reported' the OP to had he not be identifiable as a teacher from their children's school? Would she have called Nat West, Tesco, BR to 'report' her?
Parents need to learn a simple lesson, schools are there to educate children, they are not the Universal Policeperson to sort out every problem within twenty miles, such a squabbling parents, bad parking etc..

This goes way beyond 'cringe', it's properly unacceptable. Embarrassing yes, but also it's more than that.

I think the person who reported it was entitled to do that.

The comment crossed a lot of lines that most people are able to understand regardless of whether they've had a drink.

Sitting on someone’s face is hardly what you’d call “hilarious”. 🤨

The predicament op has ended up in is mildly amusing in a cringey-all-too-human way- and you have to try to laugh it off as it’s too painful not to.

But saying you’d like to sit on someone’s face is not side-splittingly funny in itself.

I’m pretty laid back as well but this is appalling. If the sexes were reversed the equivalent is a group of men saying they’d want to shove their cock in a female teachers mouth, bundle her in a car and take her home. It’s actually disgusting OP, you should be ashamed of yourself but you really don’t seem to care.

I think my biggest question to you however is why do you feel the person is entitled to report it to the school, unless the whatsapp group is set up and run by the school then what right do they have to get involved?

1. Was it said on school grounds?
2. Was it said in a group managed by the school?

If the man involved worked for Tesco and the OP shopped there would you report her to Tesco?

Comment probably crossed the line a little and in a group that is more open than just close friends definitely wrong but the school shouldn't have any impact.

I couldn't agree more. Some people are far too serious about a very unserious matter.

If I found out that people I interacted with in a professional capacity were making lewd & sexual remarks about me in a whatsapp group I would indeed take it seriously. I don't know if I would do anything in this particular situation, but internally I would certainly not laugh it off; it would make me feel very uncomfortable.

I have a very good sense of humour.

What is the point of the WhatsApp group? If it's just so the mothers can socialise then it's grim, not funny and I don't think I'd miss having the OP in my life when I left it.

If it's for officially passing on information which you'd otherwise miss if you weren't in it, then OP should apologise to the mother who left and cut out offensive rubbish like this.

Letters and emails from the school themselves are for officially passing on information. A group chat set up by parents is in no way official.

Why is a group chat for parents to socialise 'grim'? Do you not speak to other parents who you could be interacting with for up to 7 years or build relationships and friendships with them?

Your comment was gross.

But what does the reporter think the school can or will do?

Bonkers.

I think she means "What is the point of the WhatsApp group? If it's just so the mothers can socialise then [the comment OP made] was grim, not funny" not that groups where parents chat is grim in itself.

The person who told school is entitled to tell anyone they like about the comment, and to share it as they wish. She's entitled to find the comment unacceptable and tell anyone. It's not a friendship group, it's a common interest/information group.

Whether school could/would do anything depends on who set the group up etc.

If the man involved worked for Tesco and the OP shopped there would you report her to Tesco? This makes no sense as it is not comparable. Parents are not customers, they are part of the wider school community. As an aside, if Tesco learnt that a customer was making unacceptable remarks about a staff member, they could bar them.

If you want to socialise, start a new group. Class groups for information are just that.

I would have rolled my eyes, and I still think reporting to the school was stupid.

I would be pissed off to have the group spammed by nonsense and inappropriate comments from the OP however. There are so many whatsapp groups for the kids, class, school, hobbies, it's non-stop. It would help if they could stick with the information we need.

It's not a massive deal, it's very annoying. I would also stay well away from her and not invite her child or her. I am not offended or shocked or outraged, just bored and not interested. The comment was too crass to be amusing.

So you would leave her child out of things based on something she said? Wow!

For most people, just knowing school will likely hear about inappropriate remarks would be enough to stop them posting inappropriate remarks. So that's been reinforced here, as most people will have heard a) about the remark and b) about it being reported.

based on a completely inappropriate comment on a class group? Absolutely.

If thats' the kind of comments that pops up on a group with mainly strangers, but put together by their children, I am not massively interested by what she comes up with when with friends.

Do what you want , but I don't have to want to join in, or worst, having her coming in my house to pick up her child and launching in a big discussion in the same tone😂

It's not the content, I am sure one of my friends would say things as stupid or worst, it's the context and lack of self-awareness.

I've always thought a lot of MN posters were stuck up, judgmental snobs but to deliberately not invite a child to parties because of a comment their parent made to other adults is disgusting. I'm sure you are all perfect of course and never do or say anything wrong (apart from bully innocent children).

Don't be ridiculous and twist what I said.

I'm in several group social chats. None of them have ever contained comments like the OP's. I was quite clearly referring to what the OP said- not group chats.

Exactly.

Your judgey tone didn't make it come across that way though

You misinterpreted what I said. As to whether I'm being "judgy" about the OP, what she said was grim, and her follow up comments compounded it.

As for "judgey" - Pot kettle black given your recent comments.

I wouldn't exclude the child. I wouldn't want anything to do with OP.

who's talking about being perfect? Apart from you...

Thank god it's still a free country where we can invite whoever we want in our own home. I don't get invited everywhere, I am sure my kids don't get invited everywhere either. I love the over-reaction and the talk about "bullying" - over-reacting just as much as the mother who made the complaint to the school 😂

You are confusing your opinion with facts. What you believe doesn't really matter anyway, it's only an opinion, we all have them.

I am not sure you are quoting the right poster you are replying to however.