Another parent has reported me to my DD’s school for comment in a WhatsApp group

[Wonderwallafterall]

Hi all,

A bit of an unusual/embarrassing one which I’d welcome your thoughts on.

I am in a Mum’s WhatsApp group with others from my DD’s class. It’s often a useful reminder for things needed the next day and has been used to organise parties/confirm attendance etc.

Usually, a few people will put something in there on a Friday/Saturday such as ‘enjoy your weekend’ and often accompanied by a photo of a glass of whatever they are drinking.

Weekend just gone, someone put a photo of their drink whilst in a bar and said they’d just seen one of the teachers from the older years in there too.

He’s somewhat attractive, let’s just say, and a couple of people replied to that along the lines of ‘no photo of him?!’ and ‘I bet you won’t be leaving in a hurry’.

A friend of mine then replied with something a bit more ‘colourful’ and I followed up with something similar. In my defence, I was drinking and a bit carried away - when I read it back the next day I was mortified.

Anyway, one of the Mum’s left the group and to cut to the chase, I’ve since learnt she has reported the comments to the school. She is usually quiet in there and mainly keeps herself to herself IRL too.

Am I overthinking this but surely other than me being suitably humiliated if the teacher ever learns of what was said, I’ve not actually done anything wrong as commenting on a teacher is not a crime?

This. The head at DCs school is very attractive and charming and pleasant; I’d be mortified if anyone connected to the school found out I had a bit of a crush. Strictly some gossip for my mum friends who live in different areas 😇

Need to know the comment please!

I don't really think OP IS cringing.

More like doubling down.

Am so glad that WattsApp wasn’t a thing when my children were at school!!
Thankfully my daughter has refused to join her child’s class group.

I think you probably misjudged your audience. I would have found it funny, so would my DH and so would my db who is a teacher.

The person who reported this - I suppose alright for her to have her own opinion that it was an unacceptable comment, but for her to report it to the school - absolutely ridiculous, time wasting and humiliating for her, not you.

I’d forget it - most people will laugh, and most will think she’s unhinged for reporting.

He is a lot less vulnerable than the female teacher nor has his kind endured centuries of oppression.

How many men have been raped by women in the history of humanity? And where is the implement?

That doesn't make it OK.

Still doesn’t mean it’s ok to laugh and joke about sexual assault towards men though.

You’re either against sexual assault or you’re not.
Simple as that.

Did you really just post that on page 16 of the thread? 😂

Nrtft just OPs updates

Im sure you already know by now op but I will say it anyway:

1 school mum friends are not friend friends, yes you may find real friends through them but you need to separate the real friends from school friends.
2 agree that if this was a Dad saying it about a female teacher they would be hung drawn and quartered.
3 other than letting you know it wasn’t appropriate the school can’t actually do anything about your thoughts and private discussions.

Personally I think the other mum is a coward, I’m very much if you can’t say it to someone’s face don’t say it at all type of person, but what you did was inappropriate in the circumstances. There are definitely school mum friends I have that I’d never dream of saying certain things in front of as we have very different “acceptance” levels of humour.

P.s you don’t live in the NW do you as for some unknown reason a few mums at my DCs school seem to think the only male teacher is fit, he really isn’t but I know conversations like this have gone around like this about him 😬

I hope you have spoken to the person who decided to report you. She needs to get a life pronto……

I honestly don't think much will come of it.
You and your mate have presumably learned your lesson (bad pun soz) and won't make such comments again.
If the teacher themselves was having a problem with something one of you said to his face it might affect your 'professional' dealings with him. But he could hardly get your kids kicked out of the school over it surely?

If the comment had been something like 'he's fit', it would have been fine, but mentioning sitting on his face is incredibly creepy and crosses a massive line.

Haven't RTFT but I'm suspicious because this is the sort of crass comment men make not women. It's never crossed my mind to say something like that (or think it) when I've fancied a guy but maybe I'm just a massive prude.

Make some rules for this group! Why did she not just flag up that posts were a bit on the wrong side? She’s looking for trouble

Having worked in a school I think most of the teachers will just find this funny tbh and it's literally not school business. You've not broken any laws and that mum is being OOT. I hate that feeling the day after you did/said something you regret after a few drinks, but it will pass and soon be forgotten, try not to worry about it op.

Oh come on, of course women say things like this. I wouldn’t say something like that in a WhatsApp group with people I didn’t know very well, but I definitely would with a couple of my close mates.

It was a source of constant amusement in my class at secondary school that everyone’s mum fancied one of our teachers, and he was probably about 20 years younger than most of the mums. Our mums used to joke about him all the time!

There are probably no consequences, except that everyone knows you would put that kind of thought in writing to a group of parents. Which is the case whether it got reported or not. You should keep whatsapping to just close friends when you’ve had a drink if that’s the kind of thing you come out with. It would be a huge problem personally if you were a man commenting on a female teacher, I’d mark you as a parent to avoid for the rest of school.

I'm sure men say the same or worse in Whatsapp groups, the main difference is I am sure there are very few Dads Whatsapp groups.

I assume, if the Head has too much time on his/her hands, the complainer would be asked And what do you want me to do about it? to which there is no answer! If the OP knows who made the complaint to the school I hope she makes her identity known at the school gates so that everyone can mind their p's and q's in front of her, wouldn't want her delicate mind to be any further interfered with.

I can't imagine one of them going to the Head to tell tales on the others either!

I doubt her children are hanging out in the school mums’ WhatsApp group. It’s not like she said it to a bunch of six-year-olds during circle time.

It is indeed ‘crude’ but let’s not get all “Won’t somebody please think of the children?” about this.

Adults are allowed to do adult stuff away from their kids; they don’t have to become paragons of virtue at all times just because they’ve spawned offspring.

No one is saying they should be. But parents do know that these situations can filter through to children and you should always be cautious before posting on these group chats.

It's just as creepy, especially having seen what the OP said.