Hen plans in tatters - friends have gone behind my back

[Dayna87]

I’m getting married later this year. Hen plans firmly in the hands of my best friend - location agreed with me but I’m not in the group chat and she’s leading on booking etc.

They’ve got to the point of needing to book flights/hotels and five of the attendees have said they need to pull out due to cost despite confirming initially they were happy with it. The price has not gone up other than it being agreed we’d book beds at a beach club I’m keen on going to which adds an extra little bit.

These friends all posted on the group chat at the same time so clearly have spoken with each other to say they won’t go now. None of them thought to speak to me first and let me know personally. My friend organising says this causes issues with the cost of accommodation now so we are having to re-think.

I am seriously pissed off. Would I be wrong to say they can no longer attend the wedding?

Not convinced this thread is real, but just wanted to say, as someone who has been to Ibiza more than 15 times (although not for a few years as the place overall has gone downhill IMO) and worked there, Blue Marlin is a try-hard, pretentious heap of shit. No wonder your friends don't want to go, I wouldn't either. Or, I'd still go but would go elsewhere on the Blue Marlin day

Is anyone else wondering what kind of night the fiancée has had to now be willing to pay for the pink snapper beds 😭 😭 🏖️ 🛌 💰

🤦🏼‍♀️ …. And there she is 🙄

I've been reading this thread, mostly only the OP posts, and it's a kind of horror story. I'm so glad I'm old and don't even know anybody like this not even my friends' children. Its such a display of conspicuous consumption it makes me sick.

Thinking about it, I know of one person who is apparently spending about £10,000 on her wedding while complaining about not being able to buy a house.

I had a look at the Blue Marlin website to see what these beds were and there are lots of photos of beautiful people, close ups of drinks and photos of the view. Nothing showing the actual facilities, which makes me think it's going to be very tired, crowded, and over-rated.

Anyone else getting serious Veruca Salt vibes ?!

Is your name Verruca Salt? Or any relation?

Haha you beat me to it. Bet OP stamps her feet a lot.

That will be a yes then 😂😂😂!

Wouldn't it had been cheaper to have a normal hen do locally and save all these made for American TV movie dramas

Sure uninvite them if you want it is your wedding but this all sounds incredibly immature to be perfectly frank

Poor fiancé. Doing prenups by any chance ? 😬🫣

I've been invited to one foreign hen do and exactly the same thing happened. Everyone was really enthusiastic until it got to actually paying when all but three people dropped out. I think they did want to go at the time, but then reality hit. They definitely all care about the bride. It was annoying for the maid of honour who'd arranged it.

In that case it was a pretty cheap deal, I think I only spent about £200 for the weekend, but tbh even though I went (it was one of my best friends) I didn't really want to go to that destination, would have had just as much (if not more) enjoyment from something local and only went out of obligation to my good friend. It was a lot of faff.

We did all have fun but we could have been anywhere - we didn't get to explore the destination very much. Travelling with big groups of people is annoying ime as you end up waiting around for each other a lot so we probably had a better time as a group of three than it everyone had gone.

I absolutely wouldn't fall out with my friends over this or not invite them to the wedding. Do you only want friends who feel forced to spend money and time they may not have?!?!

I'd do a meal locally for everyone, and have a n unrelated holiday with those who still want to go abroad.

Same feedback from DD. She is in her mid 20’s so the age group its aimed at. @Dayna87 doesnt seem to have done any reviewing of what it is. It’s not a status look at me place now.

You’re sounding very Veruca Salt Op.

“ Daddy - I want an Oumpa Lumpa NOW”

Full of Love Island and Towie wannabes and C list Dubai influencers with too much lip filler. I can just see it now, all those men with their Turkey teeth and women in 'swimsuits' made of four bits of string. Urrgh.

Am sincerely hoping the OP’s inherent buoyancy and resilience will mean she keeps on updating should the friends react in lacklustre way to the beds being comped. x

Why Ibiza? For what it is costing you there are much better places (and much greater value for money).

I have had a look at Blue Marlin too. The beds look like they are only marginally larger than the equivalent of 2 normal sunbeds. So 4 to a bed would be sweaty and cramped. Add on the extortionate prices and the bad reviews and it doesn't look great. The menu is on the Trip Advisor gallery and the drink prices are outrageous to be honest. I am not surprised people are dropping out.

What you are also not factoring in op now is that the remaining hens will be paying a lot more for your share. And the hens that have dropped out will still have forked out for flights and hotel so will lose that money. You will have pissed a lot of people off with this and I wouldn't be surprised if some of these friendships don't recover

You need to take action now if you want to salvage this. Pay for yourself. Fuck tradition. Most brides don't demand expensive holidays which is effectively what you are doing. What is more important. Posing in poncey Ibiza beach bars or trying to do it a bit cheaper to save your friendships? Because those insta photos won't look so rosy in a few months time when many of the faces are no longer your friend.

The 5 are mostly gym girlies so I don’t think it’s that x

So you still aren't dipping into your own pocket @Dayna87 - your fiancé is? Way to go being an independent 2025 woman who pays her own bills and doesn't burden others 🙄.

The 1950s called and want you back - though your hen night would be supping a sherry at Aunt Maud's with Jean and Shirley.

How patronising!

For all the bridezilla knows, one or more of the friends may have felt pressured into saying yes, too embarrassed to admit they couldn’t afford to go. Or they might have encountered unexpected costs recently; broken down car needing £100s in repairs etc.

Well, all that’s left to assume then is that these well-off gym girlies don’t like you enough to come

I fucking love this thread

@Dayna87 there was a chat on the radio the other days about a hen who had set up a WhatsApp group about where she would like to go . Then removed herself and expected the others to cover her costs .

Sounds familiar . The attender thought it was CF territory .

I feel @Dayna87 is getting a bit of a bashing on here.
Whatever we did with our peer group when we got married is very different to hers...... and that's ok.

From experience, whenever there has been a wedding / hen do abroad some people don't attend for usually 3 reasons

• childcare
• not enough holiday
• money

It sounds like the first 2 are not in scope.

Believe me OP, some people in your group will be struggling with finances, even if they are paid very well. I am assuming your hen do and your wedding has been in the planning phase for quite a while. Even if people have been super keen initially, bit by bit their finances might be going into the red due to inflation - particularly if they (or their landlord) have had to remortgage in the last couple of years (thanks Liz Truss)