DH embarrassed and blaming me

[Dreco]

Currently in Italy. Yesterday DH and I went to the pier, it was pretty isolated, just a couple of men fishing. I saw a cave type thing with some statues inside it so we went to have a look however as we made our way towards it the ground became quite overgrown and difficult so I said he should go ahead and I’ll wait here for him. Told him to take photos. As I headed back I passed a couple who surprisingly spoke English (first English speaking people I’d spoken to since arriving). We exchanged pleasantries and then the woman went ahead to the cave - her DH held back like I did.

a few minutes later DH came stumbling back through the overgrown area, face bright red looking like he’d seen a ghost! I asked what was wrong and he gestured towards the car and hurried off towards it. We got in and this is what had happened at the cave …

DH heard the woman approaching the cave, assumed it was me - hid in said cave and then shouted “you’re scared!” Apparently the woman jumped out of her skin - DH came out of the cave, realised what he’d done and then basically made a hasty exit leaving the woman looking a little confused.

I thought it was hilarious - thankfully he didn’t say anything more inappropriate considering some of the daft stuff DH and I say to each other when nobody is around! He is somehow blaming me and not seeing the funny side. I can’t understand why he didn’t just apologise and tell her he thought it was his wife approaching! God knows what she must have thought and id love to know what she said to her husband afterwards 😂

AIBU to find it funny?! Despite how mortified DH is?

No, it’s kind of the angle of the alleyway, it ends on the corner of my DMs back garden, so it would look like he was skulking behind the corner at the end of an alley. Just bad timing. The estate I grew up on is 50% alleyways I’m not sure why.

OK - I still don't really see that he did anything to feel guilty about; it doesn't seem like he could have avoided it. Unlike the OP's husband who made a choice to do something silly and should be embarrassed.

Because the MN talk guidelines are supposed to include not being personally offensive to other users.

I posted a perfectly reasonable and uncontroversial comment and I was immediately personallly mocked for making it.
No explanation or reasoning as to why the poster thought my comment made me a target for their mockery .

That is bullying.

As far as I'm M aware mockery and bullying are supposed to be against the ethos of MN.

What is the point in having discussion forums if a certain element of the posters try to bully those posters who don't fit into their view points?.

I'm seriously questioning MN and their good faith in providing this tool of mockery

You think posting something that is basically saying "your comment was laughable" that only you can see is personally offensive to you?
If someone says something particularly stupid and someone else posts "That's laughable" where everyone can see it would you consider that to be more or less personally offensive?
Is it appropriate to say a comment is laughably stupid? If so, how should that be done? Is it the explanation that makes a difference? What if a previous poster has already given an explanation, does everyone who wishes to show you they agree have to repeat it?
One thing about bullying is it is rarely done in private. If people really intended to bully you surely they would do it where people can see.

''@LadyBracknellsHandbagg · Today 10:37

Chill out for goodness sake! It was a genuine mistake, stop catastrophising.''

I don't need to 'chill out'.

As a woman I don't find the idea of a random man suddenly jumping off in front of me to try to scare me even remotely funny, mistake or not.

I guess some women will just bend over backwards to excuse a man's daft behaviour rather than think for a minute about how the woman who experienced that behaviour might be feeling.

If I hadn't read your post, and had just read the comments instead, I'd think that you and your husband must be the most dreadful and monstrous people alive!

Unforgivable! /s

You're scared???

Why are you still banging on about this…insane

Random man suddenly jumping out to scare me - not funny.

Random man suddenly jumping out, saying "You're scared!" and then being covered in confusion, embarrassment and apologies and explaining he thought I was his wife and he was playing a prank - quite funny, really.

Mockery really requires a third party. Someone effectively sending a direct message which no-one else can read saying "I find your post amusing" is not mockery.

Some people on MN are brilliantly funny. Should we really be deprived of having the opportunity of telling them so in case we've misinterpreted them?

Have we not all done something similar at some stage. Grabbing a hand we thought was our partner when it wasn't, saying something thinking they were behind us and it's not them.

It's interesting that he's blaming you. Does he normally see everything as your fault? That will get old soon.

Wow some of the replies!!

DH and I have now moved on from this, I reckon the woman he scared has also moved on so maybe we all should move on? 😬 never intended to start up such arguments!

@Dreco Glad your DH is over his embarrassment OP - it's still a funny story! 😂

Anything would start an argument on here, frustrated angry people come on here to vent and take their miserable fury out on others

it’s just the kind of thing my husband would do - he’d be embarrassed initially but would see the funny side of it.
ps he would have apologised to the lady and checked that she was ok before running away.

Extremist attitudes are everywhere on social media, so it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that someone would respond by constructing the most extreme possible, but in reality highly unlikely scenario, into a weapon to beat the OP with.

I honestly thought you were going to say he thought it was you and grabbed that poor random woman for a kiss! The reality just made me laugh out loud!

It's hilarious!😅

I once (age about 19) ran up to a man in a market, jumped on his back piggy back style and kissed the back of his bald head.

Turned out it wasn't my dad who had wandered down a different row without me knowing

I was mortified but the man was really good humoured luckily 😂

He'll find the funny side

Absolutely. She’s happy to share her opinions, but not for anyone to disagree.