DH embarrassed and blaming me

[Dreco]

Currently in Italy. Yesterday DH and I went to the pier, it was pretty isolated, just a couple of men fishing. I saw a cave type thing with some statues inside it so we went to have a look however as we made our way towards it the ground became quite overgrown and difficult so I said he should go ahead and I’ll wait here for him. Told him to take photos. As I headed back I passed a couple who surprisingly spoke English (first English speaking people I’d spoken to since arriving). We exchanged pleasantries and then the woman went ahead to the cave - her DH held back like I did.

a few minutes later DH came stumbling back through the overgrown area, face bright red looking like he’d seen a ghost! I asked what was wrong and he gestured towards the car and hurried off towards it. We got in and this is what had happened at the cave …

DH heard the woman approaching the cave, assumed it was me - hid in said cave and then shouted “you’re scared!” Apparently the woman jumped out of her skin - DH came out of the cave, realised what he’d done and then basically made a hasty exit leaving the woman looking a little confused.

I thought it was hilarious - thankfully he didn’t say anything more inappropriate considering some of the daft stuff DH and I say to each other when nobody is around! He is somehow blaming me and not seeing the funny side. I can’t understand why he didn’t just apologise and tell her he thought it was his wife approaching! God knows what she must have thought and id love to know what she said to her husband afterwards 😂

AIBU to find it funny?! Despite how mortified DH is?

Not forgive, as in you’d end a relationship over this?
Ive seen some bizarre things on MN over the 20 years I’ve been here but this is probably the biggest overreaction I’ve seen.
Leaving someone for shouting boo!

Oh no! Did the poor cave have its feeling hurt by being disrespected on MN? Thoughts and prayers to it.

So he didn't apologise to her?

Where does it say he didn't apologise?

I’ve done something similar…ended up affectionately rubbing my hands up and down the back of who turned out NOT to be my partner. I never lived it down with either of them. Admittedly I was laughing about it too within minutes.

Have you never ever made a mistake in your life? If you did, would you seriously expect your partner to hold it against you for ever?

I don't think it's very funny and can see why your husband is mortified. He made a silly assumption and it resulted in a mistake, and he's rightly concerned about his actions.

Jesus, take the stick out.

OP - glad to see he’s seen the funny side now. I still remember years ago a male friend spotting me in M&S and loudly saying “Boo!” Unfortunately I was really in a world of my own at that moment and, rather than just making me jump, I screamed out at the top of my voice. Half of the M&S foodhall was rushing over to check I wasn’t being kidnapped - by which point I’d realised who it was and was wetting myself laughing 😆😆

What a really unpleasant and unnecessary comment.

I obviously meant it's disrespectful for tourists to go to someone else's country and talk dismissively about shrines and similar that are important to the people and culture of that county.

Oh honestly, get over yourself 😂😂😂

This is the most MN post on MN 🤣

@ArtTheClown

I'm interested to know why you thought my comment was so funny.
Do you think tourist disrespecting other people's customs is amusing?
Please explain.

I'm interested to know why you thought my comment was so funny.
Do you think tourist disrespecting other people's customs is amusing?
Please explain.

No, it was the sheer po-facedness of it that tickled me.

Of course it was funny - I’m currently giggling while my DS is trying to breastfeed! 😂😂

A handful of strange people on here OP, well ignore them!

There are some seriously humourless posts on here!

I'm glad your DH is starting to see the funny side, but he did sound a bit babyish at first, stropping about it.

Did you miss the entire point that he didn't think it was a random woman when he did it?
Why would op need to be forgiving him anyway, it didn't affect her?
If anyone should be forgiving or not it is the other woman!

I swear people on here get more bonkers each day

He is somehow blaming me and not seeing the funny side.

YANBU to see the funny side.

But I’d be worried he tried to blame you. Does he often do that when he makes a mistake? I fail to see how he could possibly blame you. You’d made it clear you weren’t coming. You shouldn’t have to warn him someone else is coming in case he pranks them instead of you.

Plus, he should have been aware the items in the cave may have religious or emotional significance. In most Mediterranean communities, there are grottos (or indeed chapels) where fisherman pray (e.g. to Santa Maria de la Mare - St Mary of the Sea) before they sail. There are chapels in some UK fishing communities, e.g. Cornwall. Or it may be a shrine to people lost at sea. He should have thought not to mess about and laugh when it may be disrespectful to the locals.

Pleased he’s now lightening up. You have a great anecdote of your holiday.

Perhaps there are humourless comments because a lot of posters don't see this as a humorous situation?

People are allowed to have a different view as you.

I'd say the way he reacted, sulking about it, is way more embarrassing than what he actually did! I'd have been scared if I was her (due to past experiences I get the worst palpitations when people jump out at me) but I always find it funny once the initial "shock" is over.

If I were him and reacted how he did I'd be replaying it over and over and kicking myself for not handling it better and in a well humoured manner and by apologising! It would be one of those moments I internally cringe at forever, you know those moments in your life where you do something silly that your brain likes to remind you of right when you're falling asleep 😂

It’s not even in someone else’s country. If from UK, we often have shrines to people who’ve died. Or little grottos which have meaning to the locals.

If it’s a shrine to people who’ve been lost at sea (which is a possibility), it’d be the equivalent of traipsing through undergrowth to look at a plaque or flowers to people who’ve died near that spot (e.g. in a car accident), then pranking around. If in doubt as to its purpose or significance, it’s best to be respectful.

The poker faced overreactions are funnier than the actual story! Which is also funny!

In which case why not actually come on to the thread and say so instead of just mocking me for saying so?

Ii suppose easier to use the laugh emoji to mock someone for their view point rather than actually verbalise a comment.

Well, the woman involved seemed to be either having a laugh about it when she left, or sufficiently non-traumatised to be having a laugh about something else, so.

She doesn't mention him wearing nowt but a rain mac.

OP posted a not particularly amusing story and because some posters don't find it amusing they are being pilloried for it.

What is funny about that?

All it's doing is showing up what an unpleasant bunch of bullies post on MN .