DH embarrassed and blaming me

[Dreco]

Currently in Italy. Yesterday DH and I went to the pier, it was pretty isolated, just a couple of men fishing. I saw a cave type thing with some statues inside it so we went to have a look however as we made our way towards it the ground became quite overgrown and difficult so I said he should go ahead and I’ll wait here for him. Told him to take photos. As I headed back I passed a couple who surprisingly spoke English (first English speaking people I’d spoken to since arriving). We exchanged pleasantries and then the woman went ahead to the cave - her DH held back like I did.

a few minutes later DH came stumbling back through the overgrown area, face bright red looking like he’d seen a ghost! I asked what was wrong and he gestured towards the car and hurried off towards it. We got in and this is what had happened at the cave …

DH heard the woman approaching the cave, assumed it was me - hid in said cave and then shouted “you’re scared!” Apparently the woman jumped out of her skin - DH came out of the cave, realised what he’d done and then basically made a hasty exit leaving the woman looking a little confused.

I thought it was hilarious - thankfully he didn’t say anything more inappropriate considering some of the daft stuff DH and I say to each other when nobody is around! He is somehow blaming me and not seeing the funny side. I can’t understand why he didn’t just apologise and tell her he thought it was his wife approaching! God knows what she must have thought and id love to know what she said to her husband afterwards 😂

AIBU to find it funny?! Despite how mortified DH is?

Goodness me the thought police are out in force this morning, patrolling alongside the lack of humour police. Where did you all lose your sense of humour?!

Wasn’t Christ a fisherman of men? 🤣

I bet you’re fun at parties!

So did he explain to the woman he thought she was someone else? Or not? Did he say sorry at all?
She will be wondering what on earth happened.

Imagine she’s given it no thought at all. A man jumping out near some crude wooden renderings of fisherman, looking mortified and scuttling off, and then being seen in the car park with his wife…?

I would imagine there was substantial religious symbolism there in an Italian fishing community. That's not to say nobody could have a little joke, it wasn't a cathedral, but also no need to dismiss totally what the statues probably were. People can have different views.

I was that woman when I was in my twenties. A bloke pounced out at me from behind and grabbed me by the waist.

I shrieked and walloped him.

His girlfriend (wearing the same colour jacket as I was) could hardly stand she was laughing so hard. I was rather embarrassed but laughing; he was mortified - and sore!

Sorry DH but this is hysterical hahahahaha

Oh god. I’ve loved this thread, and some of the responses have left me in tears (happy tears).

It reminds me of a plan I hatched with a friend when we were in a youth hostel. We thought it’d be funny if she hid in one of the big lockers and jumped out on our friends. There she was hidden in the middle shelf locker. We were so pumped, there was so much energy and enthusiasm. When it came to the moment of surprise, in her excitement, she punched the door clean off of its hinges. So instead of this funny surprise, she was crouched in the locker looking horrified, the friends were just confused, and the broken door clattered to the ground. When I recall her face, it makes me laugh till I cry…

This is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 some serious sense of humour fails on here this morning.

OP says the woman jumped out of her skin

yes, then went off laughing with her partner.

hilarious !!

She’s probably re-told the story herself. Now whether she’s told it to her friends or a therapist we’ll never know. 🤔

Speaking as someone who actually has been assaulted… this is a colossal overreaction

Posting a reply and pointing out why you think it's stupid is totally different from putting a mocking emoji on a post that only the poster can see.

Just mocking someone for saying something is just down right nasty and is a personal attack.

Personal attacks are supposed to be against MN guidelines but many of the posters on this thread are happy to get round the guidelines by using the emoji to bully other posters off the thread.

How is laughing at something stupid someone has said a personal attack? It's the definition of mocking the argument rather than the arguer.

@Dreco "I can’t understand why he didn’t just apologise and tell her he thought it was his wife approaching!"
This. 👆 Honestly OP, if this is the most embarrassing thing that ever happens in life to your DH, he'll be doing well. He could have just laughed and said "sorry, I thought you were my wife". All over and done with.
Please tell your DH, from the MN collective, to stop being silly and get over himself. 😂

Well it might be stupid in YOUR opinion.

Obviously it's not stupid in MY opinion, otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

When somebody posts a serious comment and some other poster puts the laugh emoji on it they are not laughing at the comment so much as the person who said it.
It's a deliberate undermining of another person and an attempt to deter them from expressing their view point.

I don't know what's funniest...
You and your husband's silly games, him scuttling away or the interpretations on this thread.

I'm glad he's gotten over the embarrassment. This has made me laugh 😃.

I was just about to say the same thing. "Boo!" is definitely what DH and I say to each other - but we are old. 😂

I'm really hoping this is satire. 🙄

You’re making a lot of assumptions and maybe you could do with taking a pause. I interpreted the laughing emojis as finding the comment funny and I agree. That you decided it was a personal attack is telling.

I also found your initial comment and subsequent ones offensive actually - at your assumptions, at you wildly reaching for some idea that a woman might be suffering from trauma and be really upset (especially given she clearly was not since she was laughing later on). That people should be punished and told off for laughing at something that was just a funny anecdote for all involved at most.

It’s attitudes like this, the puritan over-policing of language; the overreaction using ‘trauma’ as a stick to judge and berate people that does people like me - with actual years of lived trauma a massive disservice.

It creates hostility, derision, resentment and an impression those of us with trauma are hyper sensitive little kittens who need the world to mould around us in all ways at all times and actually makes it harder to be honest and speak up about the actual triggers or trauma responses we go through.

Also it paints us as overly serious, frightened and lacking in nuance.

I found the whole thing funny as fuck, the only thing I found irritating in this thread has been your comments. People like me don’t need your brand of hyper defensiveness and policing of others - you’re not helping.

Back to the actual thread - OP that was very funny and I’m glad he’s seeing the funny side now! 😁😁

Telling something that you think what they have said is stupid is by definition not a personal attack. Of course they are laughing at the comment. Some comments deserve to be laughed at. And if the person doubles down and won't retract it, then they are entitled to think the person saying it is stupid.

Nobody wants to deter you from saying anything. Feel free. Just be prepared for people to express their opinion of it.

Far too many people think that "I have a right to express my opinion" should be followed by "..and nobody has the right to form an opinion of me based on that opinion", and that's simply not the case. You are judged by your words and actions.