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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH embarrassed and blaming me

171 replies

Dreco · 06/05/2025 06:37

Currently in Italy. Yesterday DH and I went to the pier, it was pretty isolated, just a couple of men fishing. I saw a cave type thing with some statues inside it so we went to have a look however as we made our way towards it the ground became quite overgrown and difficult so I said he should go ahead and I’ll wait here for him. Told him to take photos. As I headed back I passed a couple who surprisingly spoke English (first English speaking people I’d spoken to since arriving). We exchanged pleasantries and then the woman went ahead to the cave - her DH held back like I did.

a few minutes later DH came stumbling back through the overgrown area, face bright red looking like he’d seen a ghost! I asked what was wrong and he gestured towards the car and hurried off towards it. We got in and this is what had happened at the cave …

DH heard the woman approaching the cave, assumed it was me - hid in said cave and then shouted “you’re scared!” Apparently the woman jumped out of her skin - DH came out of the cave, realised what he’d done and then basically made a hasty exit leaving the woman looking a little confused.

I thought it was hilarious - thankfully he didn’t say anything more inappropriate considering some of the daft stuff DH and I say to each other when nobody is around! He is somehow blaming me and not seeing the funny side. I can’t understand why he didn’t just apologise and tell her he thought it was his wife approaching! God knows what she must have thought and id love to know what she said to her husband afterwards 😂

AIBU to find it funny?! Despite how mortified DH is?

OP posts:
3luckystars · 06/05/2025 07:42

UNAGI

Original poster
Dreco · 06/05/2025 07:46

tanstaafl · 06/05/2025 07:39

slight missing the point but who shouts “you’re scared”?

Boo! - too old fashioned now?

Embarrassing but DH and I often accuse each other of being scared. It’s just childish banter - obviously we don’t tend to do it in front of other people!

As I said we often say much worse things to each other so thank god he chose the least offensive one of this occasion

OP posts:
Newmumhere40 · 06/05/2025 07:54

Wholikesbreadandhoney · 06/05/2025 06:49

a cave type thing with some statues inside it

Are you talking about a religious grotto? Your description sounds quite disrespectful.

I would have been really embarrassed if I'd done something similar to your DH but I don't see why he's blaming you. Not your fault another tourist came along.

Edited

Disrespectful....give us all a break ffs

DonnaBanana · 06/05/2025 07:54

Ignore the context, your husband basically jumped out at a random woman and terrified her, I’m not sure I could forgive that.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 06/05/2025 07:58

Walkingonmoss · 06/05/2025 07:00

It’s not even remotely funny. That poor woman. She must have been terrified. He should have apologized and explained and checked she was okay. A lone woman in an enclosed space with a man trying to scare her. Hardly hilarious.

You have no idea of her background or experiences, whether she has a history of trauma or assault, and yet your reaction is ‘LOL’, rather than checking she is ok, and making sure she gets an explanation of what happened, so that she can understand it.

Shameful behaviour from both you and your husband. Are both 12?

😂😂😂

AthWat · 06/05/2025 08:01

DonnaBanana · 06/05/2025 07:54

Ignore the context, your husband basically jumped out at a random woman and terrified her, I’m not sure I could forgive that.

You find mistakes unforgivable? Never made one yourself, I suppose.

BunnyLake · 06/05/2025 08:02

That has made me laugh out loud 🤣 Sometimes it takes a little time to be able to laugh at something you’re cringing about, so good to hear he’s already doing that. I think you’ll both be laughing at this for years to come😁

BunnyLake · 06/05/2025 08:04

Gyozas · 06/05/2025 07:24

Mumsnet never fails to entertain with truly excellent overreactions 🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

So true.

Moominmama0 · 06/05/2025 08:05

That is so funny. Maybe give him a few months and he will be laughing too.

Mumof2heroes · 06/05/2025 08:06

DonnaBanana · 06/05/2025 07:54

Ignore the context, your husband basically jumped out at a random woman and terrified her, I’m not sure I could forgive that.

I really hope you're joking...you are joking aren't you? Aren't you??

BunnyLake · 06/05/2025 08:06

Mumof2heroes · 06/05/2025 08:06

I really hope you're joking...you are joking aren't you? Aren't you??

Show quote history

I’m not sure joking is their thing.

binkie163 · 06/05/2025 08:06

I cannot tell you how many strange mens hands iv held or bums iv pinched thinking my husband is still standing next to me.
Everyone does this stuff.... Well maybe not 'you're scared' lol

OneAmusedShark · 06/05/2025 08:07

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

nomas · 06/05/2025 08:09

lol why is blaming you?

BunnyLake · 06/05/2025 08:09

binkie163 · 06/05/2025 08:06

I cannot tell you how many strange mens hands iv held or bums iv pinched thinking my husband is still standing next to me.
Everyone does this stuff.... Well maybe not 'you're scared' lol

Even in the most mildest context how many of us have been chatting away thinking we are talking to the person we are with only to find it’s a complete stranger. I did this recently with my adult son, I slunk away in shamed embarrassment, my son laughed his head off.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 06/05/2025 08:10

DonnaBanana · 06/05/2025 07:54

Ignore the context, your husband basically jumped out at a random woman and terrified her, I’m not sure I could forgive that.

Yes, the OP should definitely leave him after his unforgivable behaviour 🤦‍♀️

BlondiePortz · 06/05/2025 08:11

Walkingonmoss · 06/05/2025 07:00

It’s not even remotely funny. That poor woman. She must have been terrified. He should have apologized and explained and checked she was okay. A lone woman in an enclosed space with a man trying to scare her. Hardly hilarious.

You have no idea of her background or experiences, whether she has a history of trauma or assault, and yet your reaction is ‘LOL’, rather than checking she is ok, and making sure she gets an explanation of what happened, so that she can understand it.

Shameful behaviour from both you and your husband. Are both 12?

Projecting?

Smilesinthesunshine · 06/05/2025 08:12

That is so funny!!
I think some MNers got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!

Bug90 · 06/05/2025 08:16

DonnaBanana · 06/05/2025 07:54

Ignore the context, your husband basically jumped out at a random woman and terrified her, I’m not sure I could forgive that.

who he thought was his wife!

He was hardly lurking in the cave and intentionally pounced on a loan female!

Some of these replies are very dramatic. OP it was a mistake and that’s it. If anything you should have all had a laugh about it rather than your husband hastily running back to the car as if he’d committed a crime!

WayneEyre · 06/05/2025 08:17

I can understand why he was embarrassed but sounds like to woman saw the funny side too. I wonder if it was feeling discombobulated at trying to think quickly enough to cobble together an apology and explanation in Italian (you don't mention him speaking it) instead of just being able to automatically say 'God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, I thought it was my wife coming!'. Glad he's over it. Was he really blaming you or just 'shut up, it's not funny!'

Rusteze · 06/05/2025 08:24

Hahaha, that’s hilarious and we’d both be laughing about it! I don't think it’s a big deal really?? all he had to say was “oops I thought it was my wife!”

Pomegranatepom · 06/05/2025 08:26

Walkingonmoss · 06/05/2025 07:00

It’s not even remotely funny. That poor woman. She must have been terrified. He should have apologized and explained and checked she was okay. A lone woman in an enclosed space with a man trying to scare her. Hardly hilarious.

You have no idea of her background or experiences, whether she has a history of trauma or assault, and yet your reaction is ‘LOL’, rather than checking she is ok, and making sure she gets an explanation of what happened, so that she can understand it.

Shameful behaviour from both you and your husband. Are both 12?

I bet you're fun at a party 😂

Loki64 · 06/05/2025 08:30

Me and my husband are currently sat in an airport in italy, crying laughing at this post over a coffee

Greenartywitch · 06/05/2025 08:34

He is lucky the woman did not report him as a pervert trying to scare off lone women...or that she did not react by slapping him around the face.

Not remotely funny and it is even more of a fool for trying to blame you for his nonsense.

ClairDeLaLune · 06/05/2025 08:37

That’s hilarious OP 😂😂😂 There’s some right fun sponges on this thread.