Worried I’m about to move in with a cocklodger

[Holly9]

DP and I are currently house hunting. We’ve had a few conversations around chores etc and some of the stuff he came out with last night has really worried me. For example with his ex he said she done the bulk of the chores but on occasion he’d do a couple hours of solid housework and he’d get ‘rewarded’ at the end 😷I asked if he was joking and he said he was being serious…

Is it wrong or me to reconsider…

He wants paying for not even pulling his own weight! Wow.
My eyebrows rose at that, but the update pass the sick bowl . Oh and run.
Does he pay his share of bills?
Will he even be there when you need him if ill?

Oh yuk

It’s not about the right time. This isn’t the right man.

There is no right time for this man, he sounds disgusting.

@Holly9

I was replying to @SpringGreenOnion They raised a doubt, for me, that, surely, no man could be so crass, 'cos it just seems so unbelievable that he could possibly think that way.

Anyway, I'm glad you're having a wee re-think.

Stay smart and good luck lovely.🌼

There's never going to be a right time. Raise your bar and chuck this revolting specimen. You can do better.

🤢🤮

Sorry but that is seriously depressing. He needs a ‘reward’ to do basic tasks in the home? Really grim. I think you can do better.

Will he be expecting you to suck his dick WHILE he washes up his cup or do you think he'll be willing to wait till afterwards?

Will he expect anal if he picks the Dyson up?

Sorry to be coarse but you need to take notice of the expectation he just revealed in front of you.

Be aware also that if you challenge him on it, he will say he was only joking. He wasn't.

It's easier to be alone and do everything yourself than having a man who makes you look after him and clean his mess too.

He’d rather stay with his parents than try living with you whilst you house hunt together to buy??? 🚩 🚩 🚩

lol - he’s really not wanting you to see what he’s like!!

this would indicate he’s lazy and disrespectful, not a cocklodger, unless he was planning on living off you financially too

So today, in terms of tasks, DP dealt with the cat shit as needed, put the bins out,hung out the washing and did the washing up. 0h and went to the shop for bits we'd forgotten in the online shop.

I stripped and made the bed, put the laundry on, cooked dinner and fully bleached and changed the cat tray.

As we are adults sharing a home. Nobody required a sexual reward for any of it.

Absolutely do not move in with him.
You can’t know what it’s like living with someone based on holidays and 2 nights a week staying over, I’d be suggesting a 6 month trial of him staying with you and go from there.

Why in the name of fuck would you be looking to buy a house with someone you know so little? Stop. Don't buy a house with them. I don't know whether they aer a good person to buy a house with, that isn't really the point, the point is you don't either!

He wants you to lick his arsehole for tidying up?

well done, grimmest thing I’ve heard on Mumsnet

DUMP HIM

No chance I would make a financial commitment with him that will be a nightmare to get out of. How bizarre that he expects to be rewarded for doing his share of the work. Red flags ahoy.

You need to trial living together before making the commitment to buy. I'd reconsider the relationship entirely though, as this has so many red flags. I think he was trying to give you a heads up to set expectations, luckily your guy instincts kicked in!

Brilliantly said!!

Nooooooooooo........run away!!!!

Do NOT buy with him.

If you really think that this can be worked though - and I'd be very sceptical of that, he's on "best behaviour" at the moment to prove his worth and I'd lay good money that it stops within months of moving in together - then rent. Bugger any rise in house prices, it will be far more expensive in the long run if you have to distress-sell a house/buy him out in order to get shot of him.

I would also be VERY wary of being financially tied to someone you have such misgivings of, both because you don't know how he'll behave financially and because it's so very much harder to leave (which is what I suspect he wants). At least if you rent and he turns out to be the cocklodger he would appear to be, you just have to sit out the minimum period then give notice and walk away.

I would force him to move in with you. When me and DH bought a house, we were practically living together at each others houses anyway. 2 nights a week and he does the drying up. You have no true idea what it’ll be like to live with him.

The mere thought of rimming someone who is basically a walking arsehole makes me want to be sick.

Even if he has done the washing up.

You can do so much better.

Urgh, he’s gross. At £12.21 minimum wage for a cleaner he can probably afford to pay a sex worker every few months.

At the rate that you are no doubt doing the housework and making up his slack, he could buy you a designer bag every few months.

Or….you just don’t. Don’t start off on the wrong foot, doing everything for a pathetic mummy’s boy. It’s a hiding to nowhere, trust me.

Tell him his reward is that he gets to live with a woman out of his league and that anything else he has in mind he’d have to clean the whole house for a year and only then you’d think about it…

Or, you could just give Pervy Pete his marching orders. Thats what I’d do, CF!

OK that is the line crossed there...vile!