To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

Maybe the DH in question hates the sister in question.

Your take on this is individual to you, so you def need to acknowledge that before throwing around your boxes to lock other posters into.

Not reporting stealing doesn’t mean you don’t have a problem with stealing.

It’s really clear that stealing, and not reporting, are 2 very different things even if you chose to conflate them for simplicity.

I have no idea what this post means.

Op, your husband is an arsehole.

Yes she is wrong but fuck me grassing up a family member is sickening, I couldn’t forgive my dh for that and he would be out the day he told me, I hope you are going to have the bollocks to tell her what he has done? Who needs enemies when you’ve got family like that 🙄

this. and doing itnwithoit consulting you first. it is crappy.

She clearly doesn’t need the benefit top up and is taking the piss, but I would also be fuming if my partner did this.

Also, DSIS? Sister? I’m lost

Benefit fraud should always be reported. It harms all of us, and it harms legitimate benefit claimants most of all as they get tarred with the same brush as the fraudsters.

Thanks for that. I wasn’t aware I was boxing anyone. My point was that some posters are more angry at the person reporting the crime than those doing the crime.

I’m not sure why OP isn’t just discussing this with her husband, and was surprised at which direction the venom on here seemed to flow.

No the sister made her life worse with the choices she made, drugs & not working herself & partner & fraud. Commit the crime do the time.

Agree

Well done to your dh for reporting benefit fraud.
Its a shame everyone doesn’t do this if they are aware of it. Benefits are for those who truly need them.

In what universe is it not benefit fraud?

Wow. I would be beside myself. People definitely shouldn't commit benefit fraud but he must really hate her.

He’s not wrong in reporting her ass but you’re also not wrong in having feelings about it.

I don’t get along with my sibling and there would be hell if my DP tried to fuck him over.

I'd be furious with your DH if it was me. He does know this could really fuck your sister's life up. She could end up homeless, going back on drugs, having her children taken in to care, is that what he's hoping for? He's vile and selfish.
Of course your sister was in the wrong she should never have lied. However I couldn't do that to family. Is he jealous of how close you are to your sister or something?

@2025meme someone being an addict doesn’t mean they’re stuck in a cycle of doing “wrong things”

I agree. Plus it sounds like her husband is an absolute twat and your dh has just made her more dependent on him. As it stands she could kick him out and still be in a secure position which tbh in her case is probably wise if he's basically a cocklodger. I wouldn't have reported her, no. I would tell her so she can prepare for it and I think you should prepare for it to potentially ruin your relationship.

If your dh actually gave a shit about her, he'd have been talking to her about how her partner takes advantage of her. But he's just jealous and became spiteful.

I agree with this, he's put you in an awkward position by telling you but they are purposefully not disclosing the living situation to claim more money (and if they aren't then if they're re-assessed and owe nothing then all good). I'm more intrigued by the 'sort of' to them both sorting their lives out tbh.

Yes, you are wanting accuse posters who don’t report fraud of being thieves or pro stealing.

Not our first rodeo with this stuff 😂

This is extremely unlikely to happen, but if it did who's fault would it be? Actions have consequences, the one carrying them out rather than the one calling them out is ultimately responsible.

Good on your husband, hope they both get the book thrown at them.

Good for him I say 🙂

Technically it’s not fraud though as it doesn’t sound like she actually has access to her partner’s income/he makes a significant contribution to her finances/bills.

Basically she got herself a cocklodger and has been incredibly stupid and now she might lose her benefits and any financial security she had because of it.

Of course the partner should be supporting her and their child financially and fully contributing, rather than leaving it to the tax payer to support not just them , but him as well. Of course she should’ve declared she lives with him. Of course the situation is an absolute shit show and it will only get worse.

However , is your (or your husband’s ) life now any better? Did your financial situation suddenly improve? Did the unfairness stop? It’s one thing to report out of principle, it’s completely another to report out of spite/jealousy.

You don't understand how if a person who could.work but won't expects other people to fund their life can piss people off?
Are you a lazy entitled sponger @pinkyredrose who expects other people to pay for you to sit on your arse?