To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

She’s a fraudster and I hope she’s prosecuted

What? No. That isn’t what I said at all. Are you being deliberately obtuse?

I’m not going to engage in belligerent nonsense with you, I think you are misconstruing to pick a fight. Have a good evening.

Maybe he's sick of seeing her getting away with criminal shit?

And a goat and a flat screen tv

I think you should keep out of the situation and don't tell your sister what your husband did. She is an adult.

He’s done the right thing. I’m on benefits
she’s a thief.
Don’t breathe a word to anyone

I agree with your husband and I would have reported her too. Good for him.

@Rockyhardplace25 YABU. Your DH did the correct, responsible thing in reporting your DSis and if she wasn't committing benefit fraud she would have nothing to get into trouble for.
If your DSis was only claiming PIP then she wouldn't get into trouble as it's a single claim (and not means-tested), but if she's claiming UC (presumably including the sickness element) then she's most definitely going to be in trouble as UC is always a joint claim when there's a cohabiting partner and she should have declared her DP living in the household and his income.
I'm genuinely astonished that almost a third of votes say YANBU, given the usual attitudes of posters on previous benefit bashing threads. So the only conclusion I can draw, I guess, is that people think benefit fraud is terrible unless it's one of their own family members doing it. 🙄

Maybe you meant to ask something else but that’s how it reads

“all of you saying OP should leave her DH for this, do you not have a problem with stealing?”

Not reporting is wrong too.

I am shocked that your DH did this. Not even discussing with you first or your sis. He could have at least approached your sis about it and gave her the opportunity to put it right rather than going behind her back like this. It may now ruin her.

The fact that benefit expenditure due to fraud is such a small amount, less than 3% and substantially less than the money lost through tax avoidance, I just don’t understand why people get so worked up about individuals in this way or how family members can be so sneaky. Particularly those who are self employed and well adept to fiddling their tax bill.

At the end of the day it is not your business, nor your husband's. Let them live their life and stay in your own lane. It will make you happier.

Wtf shoplifting is ok but benefit fraud is not. What planet are you on? & we wonder why children have such low moral codes because parents like you are teaching them to steal & that it is ok.

Ops not said her DSis has an XLbully and the op says house, not flat.

You ok hun?

Or they are doing it themselves or don’t work & on benefits.

Exactly! YABU op.

Everyone who abuses the system takes money fro people who need it , and makes it more difficult for others to claim

Ah. Clearly not ok. Sorry!!

By the sound of it she has never worked - because she is stealing money from the rest of us by omission

OP when you say your sister is on sickness benefits is it ESA or UC? Has she worked in the last two years and paid NI ? I’m asking because most, if not all posters have gone straight to benefit fraud, but if she’s claiming contribution based ESA, which is based on her last two years NI contributions, she’s not doing anything wrong because apart from any unearned income, such as a personal pension of her own, it’s not means tested and partners’ income is not counted. Similarly if she’s on PIP that’s not means tested either. It’s a dangerous assumption to make if you’re not clear on what basis she’s claiming benefits and while l certainly don’t condone fraud, l wouldn’t assume fraud unless l knew the circumstances for sure