Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

???

Oh ffs "reveal"?! What utter nonsense.
How telling that her wedding is "ruined" by that. You'd think it would be a happy day because she's marrying the love of her life, but oh no, it's all about the Instagram.
Ignore her. You're well rid.

I mean, she's overreacting, but she clearly announced beforehand this was a big deal to her and you did not pay heed to it, despite this being a big deal on a very important day to her.

People are allowed to have preferences you don't agree with and expect them to be respected.

If I were another friend of the both of you, I would think you were rather more in the wrong that she was (and I didn't care one sod about those things at my own wedding).

Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media

I am not social media savvy but if someone said not to upload anything to social media, then I wouldn’t upload anything.

There was no reason why you had to upload photos of yourself even, it wasn’t your day and you didn’t need your family and friends who couldn’t attend see the photos (like some people do when they post pics of their kids sports day etc).

I would have waited until she returned from her honeymoon and then asked her if it was ok to upload the pics.

It does sound a little bit like you were annoyed at the cost and so went against the ‘rules’ as payback.

However, you explained and apologised and so there’s nothing else you can do.

Absolutely this. It's just bonkers.

Wow. We are truly going to hell in a handcart. The fucking self-absorption is breathtaking. No one cares love. No one.

I see both sides. She says 'no uploading'. You upload. What was not clear with 'no uploading'?

On the other hand, who gives a shit about the reveal? She is a bog-standard Joe Bloggs? Or is it that bets are run by the bookies as in 'which dress did Kate Middleton get married in'? She is being ridiculous and self-important and deluded and you can't perform a simple clear instruction.

🙈 Stealing someone’s thunder was a thing in a famous episode of Friends. Only time in 34 years I’ve heard the term used. I maybe just don’t associate with self obsessed people who care about stuff like reveals!

It's far tackier to think it matters who posts photos and ty to control your friends like this.

Someone newly married focuses on this? There's something very wrong with the marriage!

I don’t think most folks here understand how important SM is to the youngsters. It’s a big deal. You shouldn’t have posted a pic.

I was at first going to say that YABU and that she had a point, though over-reacting. I do think that people should refrain from posting pictures of other people on social media, without permission. However, when I saw the reason that she gave- that she wanted to do a big 'reveal' - I lost sympathy for her. Weddings should be celebrations of marriages, not opportunities for parading on social media!

Come on now, she's not 15.

Whilst I find the whole "reveal" bit a bit silly, I do think you were totally out of order to go against her wishes. You were expressly asked not to post anything to SM, yet you went ahead and did it anyway.

I would not care and guests from my wedding posted pictures of the day before I received official photo's from the photographers, but as you were expressly asked not to, then did it anyway, I would be pissed off too if I were the bride.

Do you think someone who is immature enough to care about social media on this level is mature enough to be entering into a hopefully lifelong legal commitment? Surely the marriage matters not the social media posting!

Nope it’s tacky to post a photo of someone on social media at any time who doesn’t want to be posted let alone on their wedding day.
Its weird people are moaning about the bride being SM obsessed when the OP is the one sharing people without their permission.

No, it's ridiculous to fall out with a friend over a silly "reveal" of a dress.

I know, Kate, it seems ridiculous. But it’s all about the ‘gram!

I think if the bride had asked not to be posted because she doesn’t like appearing on SM then the answers would be very different…

I do think it’s bad form for you to post a photo of the bride before she or her husband did. I thought that was sort of an unwritten rule. But she asked you to take it down and you did so that should be the end of it on her part too.

Nope. I still disagree entirely. It might be a little unthinking to post photos of someone else's wedding because apparently people are that self-pbsessed it matters to them. But the tackiness only comes into the couple cresting rules that are designed to control the day and not to allow people to just enjoy it.

It's right up the same street as telling people to wear a certain colour as guests. Tacky and embarrassing.

Why? She didn’t want anyone to post a photo of her, it’s weird to try and invalidate that because you don’t agree with the reason.

You don’t have a right to post a photo of someone without their permission, it’s nuts to think you do.

Is a reveal now a thing? Good grief.

That's different. That's your newborn!

It was something important to her. I gate gow everything needs to be shared with the world, are the memories of having spent the day with your friend on her special day not enough?