Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

The Big Reveal to who?? Surely anyone she cares about was at the wedding? She needs to get over herself and realise what’s important in life. You’ve apologised after miscommunication: end of IMO

It really isn't. Everyone important, family and friends obviously saw the dress on the day.

The only reveal would've been to the op's followers who while of course would have liked to see the op's post, wouldn't have cared less about a dress 'reveal'.

This happened to me because I posted when my son had his first child,no photo just Welcome to our world,I was absolutely vilified and she has hardly spoken to me since.

Yabu.

I would never post a picture of a bride or wedding before the bride and groom. Even without instructions and I am quite old.

I would understand the instruction meant the wedding and not the ceremony.

I don't think your friend is being a diva. Sounds like the straw that broke the camels back for your friend.

This is a good point.

Well, you were specifically told not to upload photos and you did, and not just of yourself, but of her too, so that was wrong.

Whilst most of us think a 'reveal' is rather tedious, she doesn't and you went directly against a specific request not to upload photos.

But you've apologised so the ball is in her court now.

I thought you were going to say there was a serious reason for having no photos online - an adopted child they want no photos of online, or a religious reason or some weird venue rule - not just her wanting to 'reveal' a dress that's already been seen by guests, event staff and probably a load of random passers by! Bonkers

I see why she’s annoyed, specific instructions were given re sharing photos of her special day which you ignored.

Hopefully she will calm down and put it in perspective.

She’s overreacting but you were out of order. It makes me furious when people put pictures of me on social media without my permission. Why did you do it? Why not stick to photos of yourself and your partner?

The bride is ridiculous. But you’re also in the wrong because she specifically asked people not to and you ignored her. You might not agree but still.

I think she is being over the top but I don’t think you should have done it.

A friend of mine did something similar years ago except it was a new born baby as apposed to a wedding dress. And the mum of the new born was annoyed and the relationship with my friend cooled but they had patched things up by the christening.

I think your friend needs to get over herself and accept it was a misunderstanding.

I just thought it was an unspoken rule anyway not to post anything before the bride or groom does! I wouldn’t post anything (if I was going to, I’m not big on social media) until they have. Same goes with new/expectant parents. In my opinion you made an error, however all you can do is apologise. It’s up to her what she does with that.

The friend in the picture with the OP was the bride

You posted before they'd announced the birth? 😲

Jeeze. What were you thinking?

That she had t done anything wrong by the looks of it.

Why do people do this?Life is too short.

A bridal-dress-reveal? Please beam me up Scotty.

Well it’s really not ok to announce the birth of someone else’s child so I can understand them being pissed off.

Just as I can see the bride being upset in this situation but she’s going really over the top now.

She might be being precious but she DID ask guests not to post pictures and you did anyway, which is a bit shit of you. It's fairly standard now for people not to post photos of the bride & groom until they have themselves, I thought.

I get where she’s coming from tbh. This was done to me before I had even managed to take my dress off after our ceremony. We had no desire to upload photos of mine and my husbands day and that choice was taken away from us. What would make anyone think to upload photos of someone else’s special day to the internet before you had seen the couple do so? They hadn’t even come back from their honeymoon yet! Why the rush to share someone else’s memories on social media?? Yes, she should maybe accept your apology but, people should understand that not everyone wants their special moments splashed all over the internet.

There was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony

Come off it, OP; "anything" means what it says, and while I agree with PPs that her approach is OTT you could at least have respected a simple request

Beyond pathetic. You’re better off without this histrionic twit in your life.

To dump a friend over this?! Life's too short. As if people are waiting with bated breath for a 'big reveal.'

If she's a good friend other than this she will get over it. Friendship is worth more than hanging onto a resentment.

The bride must have been in one of the photos? She was upset about spoiling the dress reveal?

Hmmmm, she sounds entitled and precious, and I don't understand her thinking BUT if it was that important to her that she made a specific request to guests then yabu for making an assumption and spoiling that for her. That said, is this someone you want to stay friends with if something so minor is worth more than friendship. So yabu but you also dodged yourself a bullet