Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
Hysterectomynext · 05/05/2025 18:15

loropianalover · 04/05/2025 17:00

The rule is to not share pictures until the couple themselves have shared them. And they specifically made an announcement about same.

I’d be annoyed with you too OP, I’m sure she’s thinking it was thoughtless at best and deliberate at worst. But you’ve said sorry and removed the pic, you can’t do anymore now.

I agree. I think it was a shitty things to do and I’d be wondering if you’ve deliberately tried to take a bit of her sunshine away.

people are saying that she is self absorbed etc but it’s her wedding. Not yours. And you were asked specifically not to post photos. Why did you? It was selfish of you. Brides are entitled to their special day.

but there’s nothing she can do now. She invited you and you let her down. It depends how strong the friendship is now. But trying to understand her perspective is very important

Bestfadeplans · 05/05/2025 18:17

Sofiewoo · 04/05/2025 17:59

Nope it’s tacky to post a photo of someone on social media at any time who doesn’t want to be posted let alone on their wedding day.
Its weird people are moaning about the bride being SM obsessed when the OP is the one sharing people without their permission.

Show quote history

She didn't say she didn't want to be posted. Shes happy to be posted. She wanted to be the one to do it.

Cassandra12345 · 05/05/2025 18:17

I think if a reveal means more to her than your friendship then that’s pretty awful of her. However you say that you’re her best friend, there may be two sides to this story ie she made it clear why the social media blackout (how would you NOT know?) and it’s possible you passively aggressively ruined her reveal for some reason and you’re acting all the innocent now?

Boomer55 · 05/05/2025 18:19

She’s a self absorbed bridezilla. Best ignored.🙄

AJ47 · 05/05/2025 18:20

Couple of things....

  1. Their request for no pictures at the ceremony is pretentious and is meaningless. A wedding ceremony is a public event, legally. There can't be an expectation to limit or prevent a thing being shared from the ceremony. The bride might not want people to take or share photos, but has no standing and certainly doesn't justify taking the hump over it.
  2. The OP didn't take pictures from the ceremony. The pics where from socialising afterwards.
  3. Also, published the next day, so any "reveal" had already happened and professional photos already taken. Nothing has been spoiled here, unless the bride had a commercial contract for exclusive publication...... That this is on Mumsnet I find it hard to believe that would be the case.

This is pure Bridezilla nonsense. Jettison the friend, you don't need their brand of entitled petulance and manufactured drama in your life.
Move on with your life.

snowmichael · 05/05/2025 18:21

It's quite irrelevant whether she is being over-precious or unreasonable
You were asked not to post photos
You posted photos
You behaved unreasonably

AVlow · 05/05/2025 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FiendsandFairies · 05/05/2025 18:22

I’m wondering if the photo you posted that included your friend was particularly unflattering (not that you would have done this deliberately). Was it later in the evening when everyone was a bit drunk and she was looking a bit shiny and gaffawing at the camera?!

Ponoka7 · 05/05/2025 18:24

PoppyTries · 05/05/2025 18:07

Reveal of the day/dress… to who? To…people who weren’t invited? Does she think anyone cares?

definitely main character syndrome. No one is sitting with bated breath waiting for The Reveal. And the most someone will do is see the photos, comment “you look beautiful” and move on with their lives.

I don't expect an invite to the friends of my DD's, who they've grown up with. So I look forward to seeing the dress. Since weddings began, the Bride's attire has been important. When I was a child (1970's) the whole street would come out to see the Bride off. People did want to know about the dress and the colour of the bridesmaids.

You don't bother with SM, but decided to post a picture that you'd been asked not to. All a bit strange, how posters are saying that she's the one obsessed with SM. The etiquette is no pictures before the Bride, or her representative. No mentioning of a pregnancy, or birth, before the parents. It isn't difficult.

cakewench · 05/05/2025 18:24

Okay so, I agree you shouldn't have posted a photo of her in her dress before she posted any photos of herself. If you'd only posted the photo of you and your DP or whatever, I wouldn't think you were BU.

However, she is being incredibly precious about this idea of a "reveal." Everyone who matters to her (presumably) was there and has seen it. Is she thinking of her public? 😂 It's giving influencer/ main character energy which just seems really OTT in real life.

Mandemikc · 05/05/2025 18:26

This sort of nonsense doesn't happen to men. We don't subscribe to woman stupid.

StarkleLittleTwink · 05/05/2025 18:26

My god - what a narcissistic woman!

dogsarecute · 05/05/2025 18:26

yes I agree, she is being over whelmed about it. She should worry about herself instead of the one posting them on social media

Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 05/05/2025 18:27

You say she's your best friend OP, and she asked her guests not to post photos. Which you then went and did. No wonder she's pissed off. If you can't trust your best friend, who can you?

I think you need to eat some serious humble pie here.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/05/2025 18:27

It's common decency to not post a picture of the bride or groom before they do or without explicit permission.

But yes, she needs to get over it.

Americano75 · 05/05/2025 18:28

snowmichael · 05/05/2025 18:21

It's quite irrelevant whether she is being over-precious or unreasonable
You were asked not to post photos
You posted photos
You behaved unreasonably

Yeah, I agree with this. Batshit it may be but it's a fairly reasonable request just to hold off until the happy couple posts photos first.

Lollipop81 · 05/05/2025 18:29

Well you shouldn’t have posted the photo as she had asked people not to. But you took it straight down when asked and I guess everyone who cares about her would have seen it at the wedding, and I can’t imagine anyone else would really give a toss 🤣🤣 she can’t think that much of your friendship if she is willing to lose it for that.

cakewench · 05/05/2025 18:30

Nevermind 🤗

Thirl123 · 05/05/2025 18:31

I am so relieved I got married back in the 90's!! You need to reconsider this person as a "friend". She sounds like a right diva

Vitrolinsanity · 05/05/2025 18:31

Unless you’re Taylor Swift, how many people could have really seen the photo?

I seem to have woken to a new fresh hell of “reveal” absurdity.

SpotlessLeopard · 05/05/2025 18:32

You should have listened to her rules, however she is being utterly over the top and has a very high opinion of herself. Surely anyone that really cared about her wedding was there!!

LittleBitofBread · 05/05/2025 18:33

EVHead · 04/05/2025 16:56

The reveal FFS. As if people care. Total bridezilla.

Presumably the most important people in her life were at the wedding, and saw her dress. No one else gives a damn!

YANBU

Yes, this.
She needs to get a life.

BreakfastatTiffannys · 05/05/2025 18:33

I don't think she's a narc. It's her wedding and she has the right to deal with the pictures as she sees fit. Besides, guests were explicitly asked not to share pictures. Sounds a bit too much? Sure does, but then again, her wedding, her pictures, her rules. Give her the time and space needed, she'll get over it.

Aulddeacon · 05/05/2025 18:34

Is she actually legal age to be married?
she sounds very immature

SL2924 · 05/05/2025 18:35

She needs to get over herself