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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 05/05/2025 17:53

Violettaaa · 04/05/2025 21:04

Reveal?! As if guests cared about the dress. It may be important for the bride but it’s a complete non event for guests. YANBU.

I don’t think that’s true. As a wedding guest I love to see the dress. That’s a big part of the day for me - the first glimpse of the bride. But the whole point of the reveal afterwards would be wasted on me because I’ve already seen it. On the day. As have all of the bride’s nearest and dearest who presumably were there too. So it’s only ransoms on instagram she’s worried about.

ScattyGinger · 05/05/2025 17:54

Is she being ridiculous? Probably. But she specifically made a request and you went against it. She's being over the top but it has obviously upset her. I always message the bride these days to check it's OK to upload any photos after becuase I can never keep up with different rules for different people so like to be on the safe side. I wouldn't have given a shit at all on my wedding day, but if it means a lot to someone then I'll respect that. x

Laura95167 · 05/05/2025 17:57

I think everyone's a bit unreasonable here.

You ignored her wishes and upset her and as she'd asked everyone in advance you were wrong to share it. But you've apologised and that's all you can do.

Bride has full main character syndrome, noone other than her cares about her "reveal", and if anyone would care surely they'd be the people she invited to the wedding who saw the dress then.

I don't think i know anyone who'd care about a dress reveal for a friend/relative/acquaintance they weren't close enough to have recieved a wedding invite for. Not ever forgiving you seems wild.

Turtletimes · 05/05/2025 17:57

You are not being unreasonable - yes she may have felt annoyed for a few minutes but it really doesn’t matter. NO ONE cares about the reveal, especially those not even invited to the wedding. Try not to feel bad - a minor mistake was made and you apologised. If there is further comments about you “ruining” anything I would consider wishing them well and then moving on.

CornishIrish · 05/05/2025 17:59

I’m surprised at these answers. I would have thought it was common knowledge that you let the couple share the official photos. That’s why you pay for a photographer.

It’s not worthy of this drama but it’s still a rude thing to do. However if you were right at the back you are hardly a close friend. I wouldn’t stress about it. If she is willing to cut you off over this then it’s not really a friendship worth holding on to.

Nothing7 · 05/05/2025 17:59

WhereIsMyLight · 04/05/2025 17:01

The dress reveal is when she walked down the aisle.

For anyone not invited to the wedding, they won’t give a shit about her dress reveal because why should they?

Unfortunately you can’t argue with batshittery. She’ll either get over it or she won’t, there’s not much you can do. You’ve apologised.

Edited

I was coming to say this! Anyone she wanted to see her in her dress / get married would have been invited.
countless people posted pics of my wedding and I couldn’t have cared less

Motheroffive999 · 05/05/2025 17:59

It is similar to someone revealing the birth of a child before the parents do , which happened to me .

Trishthedish · 05/05/2025 18:00

Createausername1970 · 04/05/2025 16:58

Sorry OP, but in my opinion you are both as bad.

Firstly, what is all the crap about a "reveal" of the dress? Lord help us. Most people won't give a flying monkey about it.

Secondly, don't post photos of other people on social media without their permission.

the op didn’t. It was a picture of the op with her partner and her friend. Not the bride.

CornishIrish · 05/05/2025 18:01

Oh and it isn’t about the reveal to other people it’s about her seeing herself on the big day. She wants to see herself and the dress looking amazing as the first image, a snapshot on a phone isn’t going to look as good, she is probably upset for that reason.

catlover123456789 · 05/05/2025 18:02

No one cares about her professional photo social media reveal, least of all the people she didn't invite to her wedding (presumably the people invited saw her in her dress so they dont need a reveal!) She needs to get over herself.

CleaningAngel · 05/05/2025 18:02

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

Wtf does she think she is? A member of the royal family!! Ffs

Tiedbutchorestodo · 05/05/2025 18:02

Several of my friends posted pictures from my wedding that night - didn’t occur to me to care - was nice looking at them.

I feel people are losing sight more and more of the fact a wedding is meant to be about stating your lifelong commitment to each other in front of your closest people and joining two families - not just a “look at me” party day.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 05/05/2025 18:04

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

Eh? Surely the dress was revealed to the groom, her family and the rest of the wedding guests during the ceremony. Unless she was wearing a bin bag for the rest of the day.

You shouldn’t have put the photo on instagram if she has requested no uploads, but you removed it and apologised. She needs to get over herself.

These brides are becoming more and more ridiculous.

lalalalalady · 05/05/2025 18:05

I don’t have SM and always find the arguments around it very petty, but in this instance I think yabu. If there was an announcement made to not upload the wedding pics to SM and you did, she’s got a right to be annoyed.

LaDamaDeElche · 05/05/2025 18:06

The reveal 😂

PoppyTries · 05/05/2025 18:07

Reveal of the day/dress… to who? To…people who weren’t invited? Does she think anyone cares?

definitely main character syndrome. No one is sitting with bated breath waiting for The Reveal. And the most someone will do is see the photos, comment “you look beautiful” and move on with their lives.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 05/05/2025 18:07

I couldn't be doing with being friends with someone that self absorbed and dramatic!

RareMaker · 05/05/2025 18:07

I think she needs to get over herself.

WhatMummyMakesSheEats · 05/05/2025 18:07

I mean it’s quite common nowadays to wait until the bride has posted a photo… I thought that was common knowledge??

Smeegall · 05/05/2025 18:08

She literally told you not to post and you posted.

cardboardvillage · 05/05/2025 18:09

you both unreasonable prats

cardboardvillage · 05/05/2025 18:09

She thinks she’s Lady Di 😂

you dont understand basic instructions

Rick1985 · 05/05/2025 18:10

She’s being a self-entitled so and so. I’d reconsider your ‘friendship’ if there’s anything left of it.

IAmTheLogLady · 05/05/2025 18:13

What was the actual announcement?
I believe you when you say you made a mistake. I was just wondering what way it was worded for you to get confused.

underthebed · 05/05/2025 18:14

Like some previous posters I'm surprised by some of the responses here. There was literally an announcement asking for photos not to be shared. I've been to a couple of weddings with the same thing and wouldn't have even considered putting photos of the bride and groom on social media before they had. I thought that was pretty standard and to be honest even if it wasn't, you didn't respect your friend's wishes and if I were her, that would bother me more. I know you said you misunderstood but- you said she is your best friend. Surely you'd had conversations about this before? And you know her well enough to understand how important it is to her?