Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

Well, it is a bit of an overreaction but equally she did ask you not to do it. I had something similar where we asked people not to take pictures during the ceremony and one of my friends did which still pisses me off. I'm sure she'll get over it eventually

Your friend sounds like a spoilt brat. Absolutely do not grovel. You've apologised enough. It's up to her whether she can get over herself or not. Seriously, the only people who are likely to care at all about her dress would have been at the wedding and seen it for themselves. I'm guessing she's not a celebrity who had millions of obsessed fans glued to their phones waiting for the wedding photos to drop. 🙄And even if so, she should still be embarrassed to make such a fuss about nothing.

I don't think there is any rule but then I don't do social media. Thank god if this is typical carry on.

“Reveal”?! To who? Presumably anyone who gives a shit will have been at the wedding?

If I'm not invited to the wedding, I couldn't care less what the bride wore.

How much of a best friend are you OP? Like her best friend from primary school, or uni or later on? Maybe next door neighbour?
Were you a bridesmaid?

I really can understand her point of view & I don't think it's bridezilla. You overstepped even though you'd been told. She will always remember that.

There are people who can't attend a wedding even if they want to.

It didn't ruin her wedding though, surely? If it did, then she's focusing on the wrong thing. It's all a bit silly.

Gee whiz I know somebody who posted the babies name and weight before the parents announced it had been born and they didn’t get this much flak

And these people are just sitting around waiting desperately to see what the dress looked like and bride has to curate photos of it to release once the suspense has built up sufficiently? And that actually matters in any way?

@KateDelRick @DappledThings - it's the modern world. We all have different priorities. Doesn't just apply to weddings, could be births, graduations etc

Yes, imposing rules on your guests to control unnecessary things rather than just enjoying it yourself and letting them enjoy it is indeed a different priority. And a fucked up one.

@DappledThings - in your opinion

Imagine spending your time on your honeymoon seething about a social media post though, sad af.

Yep. And it is also my opinion that anyone who can say with a straight face that their social media image is more important to them than their guests having an enjoyable time is an absolute idiot.

Then for those people, you can video call on the day. If they are special enough to have been invited but they can’t make it, you find a way to incorporate them. You don’t lump into generic reveal with everyone you went to school with 20 years ago.

Yup. And continuing to punish an innocent mistake of very little actual consequence even after your friend has apologised profusely is another!

This ⬆️

Sorry to be dim, but the REVEAL to whom? Surely everyone who'd be interested would have been at the wedding? Or am I misunderstanding?

I don't know, it's all very odd and suggests that priorities have been seriously skewed.

I agree from my limited understanding. I'm maybe too old to understand these things! 🤣

Although if someone said to me " don't post any photos of the wedding until i say" I wouldn't

So perhaps the OP has crossed a big important boundary?

Exactly this. Just like don't post pictures of my children on sm.

My first reading is that you were out of order. I don't like photos of myself in general and have no social media presence so it particularly upsets me when people put my photo online, it's extremely disrespectful. I also am more guarded around people who are into SM, thankfully none of my friends are. By guarded i mean I wouldn't go dancing or let my hair down properly.

All that said your friend is obviously really into that world so my criticism doesn't really apply. You messed up and were wrong and she might take a while to forgive you despite your apology. But her reaction is way over the top and disproportionate. She needs to get some real life problems to stop stressing over such childish rubbish.