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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 04/05/2025 22:31

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

‘Reveal’ it to whom exactly?! She sounds like a right PITA.

Longma · 04/05/2025 22:31

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 04/05/2025 16:58

The usual rule is don't upload a photo of the bride until she has uploaded herself.

Saying that she is being a bit OTT to still be annoyed

Never been told this or known this to be a ‘rule’ ever! Is this yet another thing guests to weddings these days have to put up with?!

WilfredsPies · 04/05/2025 22:32

I think she’s seriously over estimating people’s interest in her wedding. One white dress looks very much like another and very few people are going to be chomping at the bit for a grand ‘reveal’.

Having said that, if you’d put a photo of me on social media without checking with me first whether it was ok and whether I minded, I’d be seriously pissed off with you. Especially if I’d already asked you not to post any photos of the wedding.

Rosemary61 · 04/05/2025 22:33

I think she needs to get over herself tbh

BellissimoGecko · 04/05/2025 22:34

She’s fucking rude. No thank you for your gift, yet she’s happy to whine at you for spoiling her reveal?!

She sounds selfish.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 04/05/2025 22:35

Derbee · 04/05/2025 21:05

I think it’s appalling that people need to be asked not to share photos. Everyone should know that the bride posts first. It’s like posting a picture of someone’s baby, or announcing the birth before the parents etc. It’s common courtesy.

Appalling? How do you people get up in the morning? With all the terrible things that go on in the world that’s what you find appalling?! 🤦‍♀️ No one even remembers what the bride’s dress looked like the next day and quite frankly no one cares.

Eenameenadeeka · 04/05/2025 22:39

The whole "reveal" thing is a bit over the top but you were still unreasonable to post a photo of her when she specifically asked that people dont share them. If it was just you and your partner fine but you shouldn't have posted the bride.

olympicsrock · 04/05/2025 22:39

You shouldn’t have shared the photos because she asked guests not to.
Yes she was being precious….
The problem is that it is difficult to believe that you really thought it was ok , so she thinks you were ignoring her expressed wishes.

I don’t think you’ll continue to be friends because it was very important to her.

uncomfortablydumb60 · 04/05/2025 22:42

YANBU

Charmofgoldfinch · 04/05/2025 22:42

I assumed she had asked people not to share photos of her due to privacy reasons, which is reasonable. But she’s angry because you ruined her reveal?! Surely the people who she cares the most about were at the wedding and will have seen her dress? So she’s upset that she lost out on the reveal to acquaintances/ strangers/ people she didn’t invite to the wedding?!

Blinky21 · 04/05/2025 22:50

I have been to weddings like this, it's incredibly self centred, imagine thinking anyone not at your wedding cares about a reveal of your dress on social media. Social media has caused people to have an inflated sense of self importance, same for baby gender reveals. Who gives a toss about that apart from very close family

BunfightBetty · 04/05/2025 23:05

Do you really still want to be friends with her if she's really this self-absorbed?

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 04/05/2025 23:06

You are well out of order. It’s her day her dress and for her to post first. Can’t believe all these posts saying she’s being precious!

reesespieces123 · 04/05/2025 23:08

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 04/05/2025 23:06

You are well out of order. It’s her day her dress and for her to post first. Can’t believe all these posts saying she’s being precious!

Someone who talks about their 'wedding reveal' isn't being precious? she needs to get a life.....

BecFlowers · 04/05/2025 23:09

I think regardless of whether people care or think “reveals” are ridiculous, she cares to the extent that she asked you not to post on social media and you did. That being said, you say you genuinely misunderstood and you’ve apologised - nothing more you can do, you’ve deleted it when asked and said you’re sorry x

thaisweetchill · 04/05/2025 23:11

Come on OP, it’s common sense to not share a photo of the bride until they have done so themselves no matter how you interpret the wording.

whattodo22222 · 04/05/2025 23:26

Having a friend who cared about stuff like this would rot my brain.

Mochi1fudge · 04/05/2025 23:33

You've apologised and if she hasn't been gracious about it, that's on her.

I got married in 2002 and I'm pleased that digital photos were in their infancy. Facebook didn't exist. There were certainly no rules about this. I think it took months to get my wedding album from the photographer, by which point my MIL, work colleagues, friends parents, whoever, had likely had their photos developed at the lab in Boots. I didn't give it a second thought.

I think she's been totally OTT.

Justforthisoneithink · 04/05/2025 23:33

People get so ridiculous about social media, especially “reveals” 🤮.
She’s being completely ott and precious, but I also think you were in the wrong to post a picture of her on her wedding day less than 24 hours after the event, even if you didn’t understand the “rules”. There’s really no rush.

2021x · 04/05/2025 23:48

Weddings make brides insane... give her a couple of months and if she is still not over it then, then she is being unreasonable.

Fordian · 04/05/2025 23:55

I give their marriage 18 months, tops.

’Reveal’? How teenage.

Aavalon57 · 04/05/2025 23:58

The whole thing is ludicrous. What actual impact will it have on her life in the long run? Unless she was a Kardashian with a multi-million pound media deal. I couldn’t be bothered with a ‘friend’ like this. Stop apologising and get on with your own life, OP.

Rewis · 05/05/2025 00:11

Does she have am exclusive deal with the Sun or something and now she might be legally liable for contract breach? That's the only scenario where this makes sense.

ClairDeLaLune · 05/05/2025 00:40

You were asked not to post pictures and you ignored that. YABU.

aurynne · 05/05/2025 01:52

The "Reveal".

Fuck almighty...

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