Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

😂😂 I can assure her nobody gives one flying feic about her dress reveal 🙈 I doubt it that’s unique that nobody will have seen one very similar to it

I can see why she was a bit peeved, but you misunderstood, it’s not THAT big of a deal 🙄 she needs to catch a grip

generally the etiquette is nobody posts pictures of the bride until she does so first

But she will. She is her best friend and she gives a fuck. Why are posters so focused on other people? Take the wedding out! I ask you please don't post a picture of me. You went ahead, disregard my request and post it anyway. This is all what is about, really, this is the principle.

She is seriously hard work.. No idea if you would like to stay friends with her but tell her to wind her neck in,

It wasn’t deliberately disregarded though - it was a mistake. OP rectified as soon as she knew. A bit annoying, yes, but not worth falling out over surely?

Because she's said the only reason is a ridiculous need to control when people who weren't at the wedding see her dress.

If she was asking because she was particularly private, or anxious about how she looked, or never ever had photos on social media or something that would be different. But it isn't that, it's entirely for her ego and a ludicrous idea that anyone gives a fuck about the "reveal" of her dress when all the guests have already seen it.

She sounds ridiculous. I honestly wouldn't want to be friends with someone who even thinks this way so no loss as far as I'm concerned.

Absolutely not! My answeres are very little about the OP ( I already told the OP most likely it will pass) and a lot about the answers form other posters saying she is crazy, bonkers, bridezila, to wind her neck in, deluded, and all the rest of the names. Whilst for me is good manners, esepcially a photo from someone's life event. Is not your event, post yourself but not others (wedding, Christening, etc)

Yes but why make the reasons matter? Surely if she is a friend you respect her wishes, especially as she only asked about photos about herself, the OP was not stopped to post pictures of herself and partner dressed up) ?
Edited for typos

Because the reasons make her sound ridiculous. It's much harder to have respect for the wishes of someone being an egotistical idiot than someone with a better reason.

I've been to loads of weddings. About 25 I think. Nobody has ever made any orders about photos. I have zero idea about whether anyone has ever posted photos before the bride did because it's not something I've ever kept any notice of. Because 99% of people don't care.

Ok, you didn't come across a bride that cared. But hand on heart, if you would go to your friend life event and she would ask you not to post something, you would go ahead and post it anyway because her reasoning don't deserve your respect? No, you wouldn't, you would tell her "you're bonkers" and roll your eyes but you wouldn't post. Because SHE IS YOUR FRIEND and BECAUSE SHE ASKED YOU. She is bonkers but she is still your friend.

No, I'd roll my eyes and not post something (good chance I wouldn't anyway because I don't often). But if I did end up posting one photo like OP did because I'd forgotten/thought it wasn't that big a deal then I wouldn't be beating myself up or suddenly agreeing with the bride that it mattered.

While I think the notion of a dress reveal is fucking stupid, the OP was asked not put up photos of the wedding. Then she did. Exactly what she was asked not to do.

On the other hand the bridezilla is rude not to thank the OP for her wedding gift.

The cost of the also silly hen do is beside the point.

Leave the bridezilla alone. You've apologised, which is all you can do, though stand by for high dudgeon from the friend for not continuing to crawl up her ares apologise.

And again, I am not talking about the OP who made a mistake and apologised, but about others who minimise the feelings of others, becsuse they are not the same as their feelings. I remember telling my parents as a child, don't do this, it hurts me when you do this or say this and I would be told the same: You're bonkers, you're too sensitive, no one else would care, get on with it. But I cared. Why was this not enough to make you stop or not do it at all? I guess I am a bit triggered that's why I answered like that and got a bit snappy.

I think she is being ridiculous but I wouldn't have posted photos of someone's wedding on SM either it is up to them if thry chose too and especially when aksed not too

Yes people can say technically the op did nothing wrong but the implication was there

I still thr bride is a drama queen but that is separate

Your poor friend..she so not realized it yet...it doesn't matter..yanbu.

She needs to grow up.

I think is still hot, in no time at all she will forget about it or see that is not worth falling out for and come to her senses.

Getting worked up over her Dress reveal to the internet?! Why? Is she royalty? Vera Wang herself? Anna Wintour's daughter? Is the dress made of meat and/or lead piping?

Normal people behaving as if they are celebrities. World has gone potty and I blame social meeeeja 🙄

Main character syndrome. It's embarrassing.

This is pretty common behaviour these days and it’s embarrassing and ridiculous

Even though I've just done a massive eye roll at "reveal" and think she's being a bit Bridezilla, she doesn't want photos of the wedding uploaded to social media, and she made that clear.
Which you went ahead and ignored.
YABU

Your friend sounds like she is not old enough be married.

I can understand her being a bit miffed but she needs to realise the only person who cares about this ‘reveal’ is her.

Anyone who would care would be at the wedding and the rest of her social media ‘friends’ will just like to have a nosey. It’s not the big event in the calendar that she’d like to think it is.

I'd take this as a win. I'd genuinely be embarrassed to associate with someone who behaved and thought like this; I'd rather not be forgiven...

It's easier when you know who to avoid.

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

surely anyone who might vaguely care were there at the wedding and saw it in real life anyway!
if someone wasn’t close enough to be invited I can’t imagine they will care at all.

The bride clearly has a high opinion of herself and her wedding!

Bloody hell, it’s her Instagram not sodding Hello magazine. So, her followers, none of whom were close enough to actually GO to her wedding (or it wouldn’t be a reveal would it?), are assumed to be waiting with bated breath to see her frock? Bloody hell, sometimes people really do need to give their head a wobble.