Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

660 replies

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

OP posts:
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 04/05/2025 19:36

Sofiewoo · 04/05/2025 19:32

It’s not that hard, don’t post photos of people’s life events before them and don’t post photos of people without their permission.
Now you know, hope that helps.

Show quote history

Wasted on me as I don't have any social media at all. Threads like this remind me why.

Scrimblescromble · 04/05/2025 19:36

I can see why she’s upset…I had a friend post some photos between the ceremony and evening do and I was a bit disappointed when some evening guests mentioned they’d already seen the my dress on Facebook but I got over it pretty quickly. That was 15 years ago and said friend passed away two years later leaving a young family behind. Life’s too short to hold a grudge so hopefully she’ll get over it

Sosigsandwich · 04/05/2025 19:37

Everyone knows you don't post a photo of a wedding until the bride or groom have.

Gardengirl108 · 04/05/2025 19:40

Personally, I think she’s being a bit precious. But…they did ask that no photos be uploaded to social media and you ignored that and did it anyway. You’ve come up with an excuse that you thought it only applied to the ceremony. Why would it? Also sounds like you’re a bit miffed you were seated towards the back.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/05/2025 19:41

DreamTheMoors · 04/05/2025 19:34

Bloody precious and ridiculous. Makes you wonder how bad she was before the wedding.
My friend insisted on moving her MIL in at great expense and then proceeded to complain to me by text every single day by text for 6 years.
I saw a funny MIL joke that I was sure she’d appreciate by a British (we’re American) humorist that went something like “my MIL stood gazing through the rain in the front window. I almost let her in.” That may not be exactly it but it was very clever and obviously a joke. My friend, after I supported her every day for 6 years, got offended and said terrible awful things to me and stopped talking to me.
People are crazy and mysterious.

Edited

Your first line is exactly what I wondered, too!
I'm guessing Bridezilla was an understatement! 🙄
Re your friend... unbelievable. 🤦‍♀️

wowwhataday · 04/05/2025 19:44

Your friend is insane. No one cares about the reveal of a dress. No one who attended the wedding really cares either. She’s delusional

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/05/2025 19:45

wowwhataday · 04/05/2025 19:44

Your friend is insane. No one cares about the reveal of a dress. No one who attended the wedding really cares either. She’s delusional

Because those that attended saw it.... 😂🤦‍♀️

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 04/05/2025 19:45

She's being ridiculous and precious.

But you knew what you were doing.

I'm not buying the 'innocence' here from you OP.

Woodworm2020 · 04/05/2025 19:47

In years to come she will (hopefully) be so embarrassed by her reactions to this.

stichguru · 04/05/2025 19:49

Ignore your friend
You misunderstood what she said. You did something you genuinely thought was ok. If she wants to stay annoyed with you because being the centre of attention is more important than your friendship, ignore her, you never mattered to her anyway, you haven't lost anything.

Pelicanos · 04/05/2025 19:50

You made a mistake, you rectified it as quickly as you could, you have apologised profusely to your friend and have made it clear that you deeply regret having upset her.

If she can’t forgive you for this then really, she is not worthy of your friendship.

You sound like a nice person OP, you’ve done everything you can to put this right. Focus on those who appreciate you.

wowwhataday · 04/05/2025 19:51

@Mumtobabyhavoc

that’s what I meant. Those who attended saw it and didn’t give a flying fuck either. No one cares about what dress a bride wears apart from the bride and maybe a couple of relatives

Funnywonder · 04/05/2025 19:52

I wouldn’t want any photos of me posted on social media whether I was wearing a manky cardigan and furry slippers or a wedding dress. That’s probably because I am old(ish) and don’t really get the whole posting photos thing. BUT I think your friend is being utterly ridiculous. Surely most of the people she cares about saw her AT the wedding. Nobody else gives a shiny shit about a big dress reveal. If a friend of mine did this and her photo popped up on my Facebook (as I said, old gimmer here) I’d probably have a quick glance and get on with living my life. I certainly wouldn’t be thinking ‘Oh thank God she finally posted that photo … I was bursting with excitement to see her dress.’

Titasaducksarse · 04/05/2025 19:52

Honestly who will really give a shit about her wedding after the event.

Willyoujust · 04/05/2025 19:55

ByTidyHare · 04/05/2025 16:53

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

She’s making a mountain out of a molehill. Surely anyone she cares about was actually at her big day so saw the dress then? She sounds awful so she’s doing you a favour x

BingoBling · 04/05/2025 19:57

Bridezilla! She sounds very up herself. Did she look all that?

TortolaParadise · 04/05/2025 20:00

Well.... she did say do not upload anything on social media and you did. You ignored her request and replaced it with your own justification interpretation. IMO you are the unreasonable person. However, to never forgive your behaviour is very unreasonable.

hettie · 04/05/2025 20:15

Gently... Someone who 'Is really upset' and stopped talking to a good friend over what was posted on social media when is:
a) Going to struggle with real adulting life
b) Probably someone you want less to do with because of a)

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/05/2025 20:16

wowwhataday · 04/05/2025 19:51

@Mumtobabyhavoc

that’s what I meant. Those who attended saw it and didn’t give a flying fuck either. No one cares about what dress a bride wears apart from the bride and maybe a couple of relatives

Sorry, I was agreeing. 😊

vitahelp · 04/05/2025 20:18

She’s being pathetic! Fancy ruining things by getting upset over something so trivial!

Seoidin · 04/05/2025 20:21

HunnyPot · 04/05/2025 17:08

it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I couldn’t be friends with someone this highly strung.

Absolutely.

imagine thinking anyone was waiting for a reveal of her dress.. hilarious.

pollyglot · 04/05/2025 20:26

"The Reveal". Just what?? Like some sacred ceremony!! FFS...it's just a dress, not a Dress.

TeenLifeMum · 04/05/2025 20:29

I think it’s etiquette not to post any wedding photos until the couple has. Photo of you and dh dressed up is fine but ones with anything showing the actual wedding are a big no no. Just common sense.

KateDelRick · 04/05/2025 20:29

Seoidin · 04/05/2025 20:21

Absolutely.

imagine thinking anyone was waiting for a reveal of her dress.. hilarious.

Show quote history

It's just unbelievable. There was someone on another thread who said that a bride told guests what colour to wear! It's just got crazy.

Mistyglade · 04/05/2025 20:30

I wouldn’t have uploaded any pictures of her wedding because she’d asked people not to yet you did it anyway. It wasn’t your place, it was her day. If she’s one of your best friends surely you would know her well enough to know what her reaction would be and respect that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread