Friend not talking to me because I shared a photo from her Wedding

[ByTidyHare]

I attended my best friends wedding a few weeks ago. The day after, I posted some photos to Instagram which were mainly of me and my DP, with one of them of myself and my friend.

This was posted in the morning and on the same afternoon, my friend messaged me to ask I took it down as she didn’t want any photos posted from the day. I said of course and removed it. Before the ceremony, there was an announcement not to upload anything to social media which I assumed related solely to the ceremony and as we were quite near the back, I didn’t take any photos of this anyway. The photo of my friend and I was taken later that evening.

My friend went on her honeymoon soon after. I learnt from another friend whilst she was away that she was really upset with me for uploading the photo and that it ruined her reveal of the day/dress with professional photos as people would have seen it on my page for the few hours it was uploaded.

I didn’t want to message my friend whilst she was still away so I waited until she returned. I apologised, said I was horrified and that I’d mis-understood the instructions thinking they only related to the ceremony.

She replied to say she was still really upset and that I took away the reveal which she’d only have one chance to do in her life and she can’t believe I ignored her wishes. I again apologised but she hasn’t spoke to me since and I’ve learnt from another friend that she doesn’t think she will forgive me.

AIBU to think my friend is now over reacting or is her reaction proportionate?

She's absolutely precious but you uploaded them immediately despite not being a regular SM user and a clear ask from her???

Shes BU but Ywbu too

She is mental. Anyone who is interested in her wedding was most likely at her wedding so saw everything at the time. And unless it was a particularly small wedding, anyone not invited is either not fussed because they're not close to the bride and groom, or pissed off because they were missed off the guest list. What an inflated ego she has that she thinks anyone cares. Hilarious that she has tried to impose a social media blackout over her wedding. Good on you for posting nice photos of you and your DH. She's even more unreasonable in being such a twat to you after you apologised. Consider her true colours well and truly revealed.

the reveal to who i think if shes willing to lose her bf over this then she wasnt really a friend anyway

I dont blame her for being pissed off
But posting photos without her in of you/your partner/your friend isnt an issue

posting pictures of the bride is a no go though!!

I’m a wedding photographer, so I would’ve known what the “no posting on socials” was about. It’s become a thing that bride/ grooms want to “announce” their marriage on social media before anyone else shares anything from their day. However I completely understand where your confusion has come from and do find the whole thing a bit precious. You’ve apologised twice and removed your pictures. Not sure what else she expects you to do? People do get a bit precious about their weddings, I get it- it’s a big day and special but this scenario isn’t worth losing a good friend over!

Not any more I'm afraid. We all know that anything happening in real time and in real life now is merely the film set footage for the properly edited movie that is MY LIFE ON INSTAGRAM, STARRING ME. (Also featuring my husband, with special guest appearances from my babies and French bulldog. But mainly ME.)

I think you’re in the wrong. It’s her wedding, her choices and she asked people not to post on SM before she did. You ignored her wishes and I’d be annoyed too.

No one gives a monkeys about her reveal - everyone that cared a little bit would have been at the wedding!! It is just bridezilla nonsense!!

However you were told not to upload photos and you did?? You have apologised and now cannot do anymore - you can’t reason with people like this so I am afraid your friendship is probably over!

How weird. I think she is being ridiculous. No one cares now the wedding is over. I wouldn’t bother with her now. If she is that precious over her wedding what on earth will she be like if she has kids? YANBU.

Just as well...imagine how precious she will be about babies!

Spot on.

Sounds like Bridezilla just wasn’t enough zilla for her.

You’ve apologised over a genuine misunderstanding (she should have given clearer instructions), so there’s not much more you can do. I’d let her stew, no one probably cared about her ‘big reveal’ anyway, the wedding was over and done with.

It wouldn't bother me but I personally wouldn't upload any pictures until the couple had.
She's being OTT, you've said sorry!

Would get the upset if a photo of the dress had got out before the wedding.

But who are the people agog to see it but not close enough to the bride to be invited to the wedding?

Does anyone actually live their life for the actual experiences any more?

Mental tbh. As if people who weren't at the wedding to see the day/dress in person are going to be heavily invested in the big reveal. Or did you ruin her exclusive with Heat magazine 😂

As if the OP is the one who rushed to social media the next day to post several photos but apparently it’s the bride who is awful and SM obsessed.

Surely everyone who she cares about seeing her dress were at the wedding??? I don’t understand the reveal bit!

There are people dying in the world of all sorts of horrific things. Some people are so fucking weirdly precious. I find it embarrassing.

I got married before social media and am
well passed the age of going to lots of friends weddings every year. I think I have only been to 2 weddings in last 5 years and believe at least one of those had that sort of announcement. Regardless, I am aware that it is bad form to post photos of the day before the bride and groom do. Yes it’s precious, but SM is life for some and some like to carefully curate their life on social media to manage what others see of their life.

All that said - if I were you I wouldn’t put up with anymore sulking and tell my friend that you have apologized but if she thinks she won’t be able to forgive you then you’ll save her the bother and never speak to her again. Surely she will eventually realize with some distance that she is being ridiculous!

Me neither. It’s all completely alien to me and I’m actually rather glad.

The irony when the problem was caused by the OP basically sprinting to post on social media as fast as possible!

You shouldnt apologise or grovel.

Your "friend" sounds like a deranged and unhinged precious fucking prize twat.

I'd be giving her a WIDE fucking berth and ignore her from now on. Shes not a friend, but she is a cunt.

Precisely my thoughts. Most of the guests will barely care what you’re wearing. Let alone randoms on SM who haven’t been invited.

She sounds like someone whose entire sense of self-worth is based on social media likes. Depressing. One day she'll realise that real-life relationships with people are more important (perhaps the most important thing in life).

Your friend sounds like a pathetic wannabe influencer.