Is this weird parenting?

[JillAndJenTheFlowerpotMen]

I have one dd who is a young teenager and who hasn’t yet hit puberty. I have been thinking that when she starts her period, I might buy her a small piece of jewellery to give her, to mark her transition to womanhood. And take her mind off the fact that she’ll have hormonal shit going on for the next forty years or so.

something like this: https://www.johnlewis.com/auree-hampton-gold-vermeil-pendant-necklace/gold-ruby/p111668104

Am I being weird? Or is this a nice thing to do?

I think as a teen she would be embarrassed to receive that for the reason you state.

I think it's lovely. A 'coming of age' gift to mark her transition into womanhood. Help her feel proud to start, rather than ashamed/shy/upset as many girls sadly are.

Looking at the comments on here is quite worrying, if Mums can’t talk about periods with their Daughter, how are they able to manage them starting a relationship? Talk to them about contraception? Teach them about boundaries and healthy relationships?

I guess I think that it’s important that daughters feel completely comfortable talking about their bodies with their Mums, and for Mums not to have a Victorian mindset when it comes to talking about periods and Puberty!

So surprised by the negative reactions to this! I think it’s sweet and a nice way to show you love her and recognise that periods starting is a big-ish deal. It’s all in the delivery, surely? If you make it cringe it will be cringe, but if you just make it a nice thing, like “grown up things are happening so you deserve some grown up jewellery”, I think that’s lovely. Lots of talk of her being “mortified” but isn’t it a good thing to try and break some of that shame nonsense that we’ve all been made to feel about female functioning bodies? You know your daughter, if you think she’ll like the necklace and appreciate you seeing her going through stuff, then go for it. (I’m mildly jealous as a boy mum who will only get to acknowledge voices breaking with some kind of fucking Nerf monstrosity, probably).

My mum made a big deal about it and I hated it. It made me so uncomfortable, I’d much rather it hadn’t been acknowledged

on the day they started I got both my DDs hot water bottles and pads and tea bags! Oldest DD went off to Uni with that hot water bottle so it was a good buy!

I voted unreasonable because I don't think I'd have wanted a piece of jewellery to celebrate my first period. But it wasn't a hard unreasonable - more a you do you thing, if your daughter would like it.

My mother and then myself were very open with our daughters and sons about what a period was, what to expect, and I felt supported when it happened. I think it's also important to teach boys about menstruation too. I went to school in the 1970s and 80s and got in trouble at 9 for telling my school friends that a period isn't a bladder of blood women get, or other weird ideas. Being able to draw a fairly decent picture of the female and male reproductive organs was not appreciated in Ireland at the time. Maybe being in permanent marker on a white door was the issue.

My confirmation was presented as my coming of age event. I was no.l9nger able to use being a child as an excuse, but I was also given more freedom and responsibility for my own choices.

Weird 😂

I got my girls something. They weren't mad keen at the time, but 15/20 years later they recognise it was a passage.

God know why people are saying it's weird.

Stop it 😂

I’m on board with this OP, I think it’s a nice idea to mark the occasion in a positive way. My DD is nearly 14 and not yet started but I might do similar.

I dunno wtf is wrong with posters here. It's a lovely idea and far better than the big sigh and lamenting most of us endured. I'd get her a comfy set of PJs, hot water bottle and some cacao too.

OMG this is wonderful! I wish I had known about it when my daughter started her periods

I came across it when I was waiting for a Hysterectomy!

Absolutely crying at this 🤣🤣🤣

OP I think it's a lovely idea to celebrate your daughter's entry into womanhood. I did something similar with my daughter (I didn't buy her a present but we did have a special celebratory meal).
And I got the same comments from friends as you have here ("I would have been mortified"). Which I think is sad. Why should women be ashamed of a natural function?

Well I am ancient so these things were a bit more cloak and dagger. I was mortified when my dad came to me and said congratulations you are a woman or something like that. I know he was being lovely but oh it was embarrassing!

P.s. maybe a necklace as a pp said, there’s grown up stuff going on so here’s a grown up necklace is lovely and acknowledges it in a shared kind of way. Not sure about a red drop of blood necklace though , that’s cringe. Maybe something that is just grown up and not horribly symbolic

It feels too much to me, even though the actual necklace is very nice.. If my parents had given me a puberty necklace as a teen. I'd have been mightily embarrassed, stuffed it at the back of a drawer and cringed whenever I came across it.

Ha, ha...just remembered my own mum bought me a packet of tampons and some Rowntrees fruit pastilles, so perhaps my bar is set a bit low!

I think it might be nice to acknowledge that she is growing up but buying more "stuff" that she might feel awkward wearing is probably not going to land well. Can you either:

• prep her a little bag with sanitary stuff that's actually useful

Or

• celebrate in a slightly more meaningful way at home that marks her as more grown up - let her stay up to watch something on tv with you, extend some minor privilege to her?

Sorry - just reported myself!

That's an excellent thing to do. What brill mum you are!

I had friends at school from Indian traditions whose parents threw them parties when they started their periods!

I think a necklace sounds lovely. You don't need to frame it as "welcome to womanhood". You could take her out for a hot chocolate and to Accessorize to choose something as a little self-care day.