Drunken Friday night argument - who was in the wrong?

[FoodLover22]

DP and I had a few drinks last night. We both had a long week with work and a few other stresses and needed to let our hair down.

We were discussing our sex life, it’s mainly good with a couple of gripes but nothing major.

I said how I would like him to be a bit more assertive sometimes and just go ahead and do things rather than consult me. I clumsily said that is how I imagine one of his friends being (I said a name) - I didn’t mean anything by it but in hindsight see it was stupid.

He responded by naming my best friend and saying that he wishes I had an arse like her but that he doesn’t complain. He then said in a sarcastic tone to mimic my comment about his friend ‘I imagine that being great in doggy’.

I went up to bed at this point and haven’t spoke to him since, I know I shouldn’t have said what I did and he took this as a put down, but AIBU to suggest what he replied with was worse? And he should apologise when he wakes up. I don’t know how to play it..

OK. I’m calling this a fake. I think you’re getting off on winding people up.

Based on your responses here, I think ‘sincerely’ is doing some heavy lifting

You're both in the wrong here, what you both said is pretty awful imo.

HE had nothing to apologise for, other than stooping to your warped, childish level. Seriously OP how old are you? You are so self centred and bordering on deranged now.

I'm here for the deletion message or the update to say he's finally left you!

Ok you’re on a wind up. No one is that dense.

that just shows how hurtful he found your comments, he’s obviously struggling to get over it

Nothing. Unfortunately that's the way things are when you say objectively hurtful things. It's up to him whether he can move past it or not, and I certainly wouldn't expect him to forgive and forget so quickly. It's no longer about what you said, it's about how he feels.

It's also the kind of comment that gets worse the more you think about it so I wouldn't be holding my breath. All you can do is give him space, in between grovelling, and he'd still be justified if he couldn't move on.

Another factor would be whether your "throwaway" comment actually targeted something he's already insecure about compared to his friend. Sometimes a nasty comment can be forgotten if it's not something you're bothered about already but if your partner actually goes for a vulnerable spot, that's tough to come back from.

He’s hungover and taking it out on me

If she’s Pavement Lady, she’s 54.

Don't often post but this is on another level. You told him that you imagine his friend would fuck you the way you want to be fucked. From nowhere. He responded from a place of hurt by saying that he wished you had an arse like your friends arse. There is absolutely no comparison.

Consent not to have consent... nothing could go wrong with that.🙄

You've jumped the shark now. 🙄

Given your clear disdain of the man and your dissatisfaction in your sex life why are you with him?

With this and your next post, you clearly now didn't mean your apology. You still think you've done nothing wrong. It's obvious you don't accept you hurt him. Saying you're sorry, particularly when you obviously don't mean it, isn't going to fix anything.

He didn't say that did he? He said he imagined her arse would look good from behind.

You need to apologise - you started it by mentioning the friend. Wild that you would think that’s reasonable.

It’s a sunny bank holiday weekend and he is sulking about a clumsy/throwaway drunken comment which I didn’t mean and have apologised for

But you did mean it, you had obviously thought about what is friend must be like in the sack previously…..the comment didn’t come out of nowhere
You had been thinking about his friend in this way and you drew the conclusion that he would be more assertive than your partner in bed and therefore better in your opinion

Don’t try and minimise your comment by saying that you didn’t mean it and blame your behaviour on alcohol, you did mean it

just go ahead and do things rather than consult me

Also he'd be beyond foolish to ever do that with someone with your attitude to things .

Well and truly 😁

You still seem to not get it saying he us pathetic sulking .christ he can sulk if he wants you said you imagined his nate doing this in bed .1your were a complete tit for saying it .2 men gave fragile ego you picked the worst insult ever .3 he may be thinking seriously about your marriage sorry but if he thought it was rocky you may have killed it dead or if it was good you still have hurt him deeply snd he only said what he did out of retaliation sorry but you deserved that one big time but you still seem to be thinking he is in the wrong .if your Marriage recovers for christ sake don't drink again

OMG you sound awful

Go up and tell him his mate would have forgiven you by now, in for a penny and all that

You’re either a troll or one of the most clueless people I’ve seen post in a while.

Definitely do this.

I bet you wouldn't want to show him this thread would you because people are mostly on his side.