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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this sleeping arrangement for ds unfair?

147 replies

Yaaaal · 03/05/2025 07:23

Ds is 3.5. He is still in a cot. He’s quite big for his age so it’s getting close to needing to get rid of the cot but we want to do it when we move house (hopefully within the next six months). He sleeps absolutely fine and doesn’t seem bothered about the cot but obviously having never been in a bed he doesn’t know any different.

Mentioned this to a friend recently and she was horrified. AIBU to keep the cot for a few more months as it seems fine?

OP posts:
GRex · 03/05/2025 07:25

Peesumably the sides are off anyway so that he can get to the toilet at night, in which case it's just a very small bed.

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 03/05/2025 07:28

If it works for you, your partner and your son, then your friend’s opinion is irrelevant. It’s one of those things I’d probably not tell people about - like the fact our 5 1/2 year old twins spend more nights in our bed with me than in their own room!!

Lookingtomakechanges · 03/05/2025 07:28

its his familiar bed and he sleeps well in it. Who cares what anyone else is doing. It would only be a problem if he couldn’t stretch out or the mattress
had failed.

Katemax82 · 03/05/2025 07:28

To each their own, mine were in a bed before 2 but only because I got in with them and collect slept

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 03/05/2025 07:30

Might be a bit overwhelming, new house, new bedroom, new bed.
I'd do it now.

Olika · 03/05/2025 07:31

you shouldn’t care what your friend thinks. There’s no point in getting a bed now if you are moving and planning on getting the bed then.

Tbrh · 03/05/2025 07:33

If he's comfortable I don't think it matters. I've heard it's better for them to stay in a cot until after 3 as they can control their impulses better for moving into a bed (ie not getting out of it). We only had to get a bed because DC started climbing out of it, that was the case for everyone else I know too

Original poster
Yaaaal · 03/05/2025 07:35

No the rails are still on @GRex

OP posts:
TURNYOURCAPSLOCKOFF · 03/05/2025 07:38

It is a bit unusual for a 3.5 year old to be in a cot.

Id have put the mattress on the floor by now if I couldn't/wouldn't get him a bed.

Apothecary266 · 03/05/2025 07:40

Eh? Your 3.5 year old still has cut sides on??? Why on earth?

Eachpeachpearprune · 03/05/2025 07:41

I would definitely take the sides off the cot if it’s a cot bed. Agree that new house, new bed etc might be a bit of a big adjustment when you could put him in a bed now to get used to it? I’m very much for do what works for you but some children his age will start school in 6 months and he could still be in a cot at that age or there abouts…!

Thelosthalfathought · 03/05/2025 07:43

At 18 months both mine were mattresses on the floor as they’d fling themselves over the rails!

I second doing a new bed/mattress on the floor now so the change when you move house is diluted a little.

Eatinghabits86 · 03/05/2025 07:44

I left the sides on the cot until 3 years old. She never once tried to climb out so I didn't see the need to remove before then. Took them off for toilet access really although she still wears a pull up for bed and we haven't got anywhere with nighttime training yet. She's just wees in the pull up.

BendingSpoons · 03/05/2025 07:45

My DS liked his cot bed and used to climb in and out via an armchair next to it. We left him in it longer than with DD as we didn't want to disruptive sleep. I think 4 is pushing it though. Does he ever have friends round who might notice? I also think you would be better to get him used to a new bed now, so when you move he has something familiar, rather than it all being new. If you are struggling for money/space, would it work to have the base on the floor?

Matronic6 · 03/05/2025 07:45

I think you would be better getting him the new bed now. Then it will be familiar safe to him when he moves. Rather than a new bed and a new room.

DillyDallyingAllDay · 03/05/2025 07:46

I’m a big advocate of doing whatever works. And if the cot is working for you and your child just carry on. If it stops working/you want to make a change when you move that’s totally fine too. You don’t need to take anyone’s advice/judgement of what you’re doing is working and it means your child is sleeping and you are too!

mynameiscalypso · 03/05/2025 07:46

I would be worried about a cot with the sides on at that age when they’re stronger and taller and more capable of propelling themselves out of the bed. I also agree that it’s best to transition to a bed when they’re in a familiar environment; we did it about 6 months before we moved for that reason.

GRex · 03/05/2025 07:46

Yaaaal · 03/05/2025 07:35

No the rails are still on @GRex

Ok, he's definitely too old for that. Bars off.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 03/05/2025 07:47

I think its fine if you plan ahead properly

We had a double bed for dd from 23m
She didnt want to sleep in it / refused until she was 3 when she announced she wanted to sleep in big bed. Until then she was in a cot with bars! As she cried for the bars back when we removed them 😅

I would take the sides off the cot so its like a bed anyway as he's 3.5 (Main reason being the house will be a big change so change one thing at a time)

So I'd have a sideless cot in old house and keep it in new house fof a coupels of weeks.. then let them pick their big bed and transitioning it in after a few weeks

TheNightingalesStarling · 03/05/2025 07:49

I thought the safety advice was sides off as soon they could climb in and out.

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 03/05/2025 07:50

He is too old to be in a cot

user1492757084 · 03/05/2025 07:52

Take the side off the cot. Then it is a small bed - fine.

WaltzingWaters · 03/05/2025 07:53

My DS is 3 years 1 month and still in his cot. He sleeps so well in it and I didn’t want him to switch and then be getting up all night. We will swap him in the next few months (once I finally sort his new bedroom out) but for now he sleeps a fantastic 11-12 hours a night in it independently, has plenty of space left, and has never tried climbing our, so I’ve not seen the rush.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 03/05/2025 07:53

Why do you want to wait until you move house? If it’s because he’s currently in a tiny box room and you want to wait until you’re in a bigger house that seems reasonable, but I would at least take the rails off his cot now. It will be a big change to move house and be in a bigger bed without rails all at the same time.

If the only reason you want to wait until the new house just because in your head it makes sense to make all the changes at once I would disagree and say better to change his bed now so it feels like a safe space to him before he has to go through a house move.

If you’re worried about moving to a bed because you have safety concerns (eg: his bedroom opens right onto the stairs) you could always put a baby gate on his door so he can’t get out of his room without an adult.

Eenameenadeeka · 03/05/2025 07:54

Don't they have a height limit? Im. Sure mine were too tall well before 3 and it's dangerous for them to try and climb out. With the side off i think it's fine though!

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