Is this sleeping arrangement for ds unfair?

[Yaaaal]

Ds is 3.5. He is still in a cot. He’s quite big for his age so it’s getting close to needing to get rid of the cot but we want to do it when we move house (hopefully within the next six months). He sleeps absolutely fine and doesn’t seem bothered about the cot but obviously having never been in a bed he doesn’t know any different.

Mentioned this to a friend recently and she was horrified. AIBU to keep the cot for a few more months as it seems fine?

Taking the bars off would be a way of getting him used to a full size bed.

3.5 in a cot with sides? Seems very babyish to me. I'd get a bed before you move so it's not too overwhelming. He can't be 4 in a cot.

As PPs have said. You can take the sides off a cot. Pop a couple of pillows on the floor if you are worried about him falling out.
DS slept in his cot bed (no bars) until half way through reception as he wasn't very tall and it gave him more floor space for toys.

I'd take the rails off. Does he climb out? Otherwise as long as he fits in it comfortably, its fine. (We trained our eldest to sleep without sides from 2 and three quarters as we'd booked a holiday apartment for later in the year where they'd have to use a bed.)

Agree with everyone not to do it all at the same time when you move

You could pick up a cot bed or childs bed from facebook very cheap to help him transition before movinf. Otherwise its going to be new bed and new house in one go which is a lot

Agree that really bed is better at that age but its just a place to sleep and I am sure hes not going to be 18 and still in a cot and really it wont matter either way in the end.

Way too old to be in a cot with bars up. Fine in cot bed converted to bed

I think you’re putting your needs before his. He could at this age be getting up, going the toilet himself, pottering with toys in his room, drawing or playing. He could be sitting on the bed to dress himself, shoes and socks etc.
but instead he’s being presumably lifted into a babies cot when he’s almost 4. I don’t think that’s fair. It’s lazy on your behalf.
Mine were in cot beds around 12-18 months & single beds around 3. To promote their independence and because it was suitable for their development

Is the cot 20 cm longer than his height? If not, it’s too small, with or without bars

Just take one side off and if you are short of space, put the spare side between the side of the cot with the rail still on and the wall. Then he can start to climb in and out themselves. We've done this. DD1 is nowhere near nighttrained yet - still having massive full nappies on a morning and was quite happy with the sides still on her cot until 3yo. But we took them off to start transitioning her ready for a big bed for when her little sister will need her cot. Its nice for them to be able to get themselves out of bed on a morning and either potter about in their room, or come in to see you.

My eldest climbed out at 15 months, can’t believe anyone would be able to contain a child past 2 in a cot.

My 3 year old slept in his baby brother’s cot the other night because husband was very sick so I slept in the 3 year old’s bed with the baby. He was perfectly happy in it. Like a lot of kids his age he’s still in pull ups at night although we’re actively working on that issue at the moment.

Anyone else’s back aching at the thought of hauling a three year old out of a cot? 😂

I would buy the new bed for the next house now and just use the mattress on the floor until you move.

My child is the same age and is in a full sized single cabin bed with a ladder. He loves his bed but couldn’t use it to dress himself because it’s a cabin bed (he does dress himself, just on the floor). He also definitely wouldn’t wake up on his own and play quietly in the morning, although he does sit and “read” quietly on his own after lunch. All 3.5 year olds are different.

A bit over dramatic to say 3.5 is “almost 4”.

I agree, on both :-).

What about the toilet in the night? Can he get himself out?

I find this very odd. Why haven’t you at least taken the sides off before now?

I’ll buck the trend.

Theres so much change with a house move that a bed change is neither here nor there in the grand scale.

Do what works for you.

Take the sides off. My boy is 3.5 and still in his cot bed because like you we are moving soon and getting all new beds so want to avoid it until then but he’s had his sides off for a good 9 months

Every child is completely different. Do whatever works for you and your little one. I waited for a house move as well, and it's not relevant but we found adapting to toddler beds really very easy with my twins - They rolled out of bed twice, I think? (once each). They weren't daunted by the change and it didn't cause any problems. But that's just my kids!

That poster knew full well the sides were still on OP, it was pretty obvious from your post. The poster was attempting to shame you, because only in the world of mumsnet are all toddlers dry at night by 3.5🙄

I would take the sides off now, I had sides on for my DC until 3 and really didn’t want to take them off as they were comfy and had never tried to climb, but once a child reaches 35” in height it’s no longer safe for them to have the sides on a cot. So, if your child is approaching or over that height, you should probably take the sides off sooner rather than later.
Good luck. It won’t be anywhere near as stressful as you think it might be.

Is it a cot bed? If not then I would get a new bed now. Moving always takes longer than you think and that way you can place a familiar bed in the new room.

How does he get out if he needs the toilet?

I would move him to a bed now. To change at the same time as a move seems an unnecessary potential disturbance for him.

But in any case, regardless of the move imo he is too old to be in a cot with sides up. Unless he regularly climbs over the side (which is dangerous), it must be disrupting his ability to develop night-time dryness by being able to go for a wee when he needs it - presumably you are keeping him in night-time pull-ups without knowing whether he needs them or not, which seems crazy. And a child of 3 ought to be able to get out of bed in the morning when he wakes and play quietly in his room on his own.

Cots are there for a baby or toddler's safety. To keep him in one when he no longer needs it is a bit like keeping him in a cage at night! If you really want to wait for your move (though I can’t think of a reason why, unless there physically isn’t enough space in his current room for a bed), imo you should at least keep the side down now so he can get in and out freely. If he is three-and-a-half now he might be four by the time you move, which is way too old for a cot - some children start school when they are only just four. A child in a school Reception class talking about still sleeping in a cot would cause some very raised eyebrows.