Is this sleeping arrangement for ds unfair?

[Yaaaal]

Ds is 3.5. He is still in a cot. He’s quite big for his age so it’s getting close to needing to get rid of the cot but we want to do it when we move house (hopefully within the next six months). He sleeps absolutely fine and doesn’t seem bothered about the cot but obviously having never been in a bed he doesn’t know any different.

Mentioned this to a friend recently and she was horrified. AIBU to keep the cot for a few more months as it seems fine?

My son had a cot with the sides removed until he was 3.5 years old. We then moved into a bigger property and he went straight into a single bed. I took him shopping for a new duvet set, he chose one he liked and we made a fuss of him going into a 'big boys bed'. He was absolutely fine, and excited about it!!

Imagine laughing at someone explaining you something that’s 100% correct

Yes. A hormone.

Oh are you a medical expert or something in night night time incontinence?

https://eric.org.uk/advice-for-children-with-night-time-wetting/

About half way down 👍

As long as it’s not cramped so he can stretch out and isn’t trapped in it when he needs the toilet at night etc. Who cares! A safe and comfortable bed is a good bed.

And how would you know if a child was capable of night time dryness if they had no ability to get out of bed at night to use the toilet? It is absolutely rooted in laziness nine times out of ten when parents refuse to adapt their parenting for a new stage in their child's development. It's much easier to just keep treating your child - and, at three and a half, this is a child, not a baby and not even a toddler - in the same way you have been treating them, the way that you are comfortable and confident with, rather than evolving, learning new skills and accepting new challenges.

My children (7 years old) have never ever been to the toilet at night. They don’t need to go. I knew they were dry when their nappies were dry in the morning.

Yeah, I think 3.5 is too old to be in a cot OP.

So...are you advocating for children to be in cots until seven years old? If not, I don't see what the relevance is, as they presumably had the option of using the toilet in the night if they wished, as many children do. It is an issue to not give a child the opportunity to not soil themselves if possible past a certain age.

Get a cot bed or toddler bed, he's way too old to be in a baby cot. He's closer to school age than he is a baby.

My point was that not all children (nor all adults) need to get up to use the toilet at night. Being free to the toilet at night has nothing to do with night dryness. Night dryness is hormonal and no sleeping arrangement will change that.
Everyone is patronisingly asking the OP how her child goes to the toilet at night, but he may not need to go even if he doesn’t wear nappies.

Edit: actually I was answering the question how do you know whether a child in nappies is dry at night if they can’t go to the toilet alone. In fact, it’s easy to tell.

If he doesn't have SN it's a bit odd for him to still be in a cot with the side's on at that age. As PP said might be better to get him a bed before moving. So when you move he has the security of sleeping in a bed he's used to.

People were horrified that my daughter was still in a cot at 3 but she was comfy and never complained and slept amazingly so why on earth would we change! We did change to a cot bed so just the same cot but with no sides when she went into a bigger room and shared with her sister but honestly it’s a bloody pain when they don’t want to stay in there. Keep the cot as long as possible! FWIW all the judgey people who commented on my daughter only took their child out of a cot because they slept terribly and wanted to see if jt helped

Oh I've come back and can see that for some reason, strangers seem to have very strong opinions about three year old children in cots.

This site is fascinating. In real life I can't imagine a person giving a single thought about this unless the parent asked when was best to move into a bed as they didn't really know.

I think a new house and a new bed is a pretty big adjustment all at the same time.
I moved my 3 year old into a little toddler bed at 18 months.
if you’re not ready to buy a little bed then I would definitely be removing the cot sides just now.

Well….the OP started a discussion… and people are discussing it. That
comes with a range of opinions…as evidenced on the thread.

honestly get the poor child a bed with a bit of room. He absolutely must be squashed in a cot at his age.

“A crucial factor in overnight dryness is the development of a hormone called antidiuretic hormone (ADH), also known as vasopressin.
ADH tells the kidneys to release less water, reducing the amount of urine produced. This plays a key role in keeping children dry overnight.
Your child needs to produce enough ADH before they can be consistently dry at night, which can happen at different times.
”It is completely normal for under 5’s to be wet at night, according to the NHS, as their bladder is still maturing up to this age. Most people wake up when their bladder signals to them that they need to go to the toilet. Some young children sleep deeply and these signals don’t wake them. For others, the nerves needed to send this signal to the brain aren’t developed enough yet to send a signal strong enough to wake them.”

Is it a cot or a cot bed

if a cot bed I think it’s fine. If it’s a cot it maybe does seem quite small for him? But if sleeping ok can’t really be doing him
any harm

Children might not be fully dry overnight at three but they should have the opportunity to use a potty if they wake up and feel the need to go or when they wake up first thing.

There is a correlation between higher levels of vasopressin present and night time dryness but plenty of children are dry at night and just wake to use a potty. Children who are dry will often need a big wee first thing in the morning so they need access to a potty.

why do you want to wait until you move to get a new bed? I would want to get the new bed now so it’s familiar when you move and helps him settle in the new house.