To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

But if you don't actually meet these individuals in real life how can you imagine you're in a relationship with them? It really doesn't make sense.

My grandmother was convinced she was talking to Dermot Murnaghan from Eggheads as "Dermot" PMd her through a Facebook group for quizzers. She wouldn't be convinced otherwise and thought that "Dermot" asking to talk to her on Telegram was because he was concerned the TV people would intercept text messages. She's 70 and not stupid but she would not be told.

I think amongst the women who are victims of scammers there are many who have learning disabilities, mental health problems, are abuse survivors, have lived unconventional lifestyles, often not from choice, that mean they have little life experience, limited human interaction and are isolated. I think conversely, there are others who are highly self confident and so find it entirely plausible that the man has fallen for them. They may have been treated well by life so far and have no reason to suspect this time is different. I think 'idiots' is an offensive and simplistic label to give to a wide variety of victims. And also victim blaming.

Just wow

Why want person to control

Mostly foolish and sometimes predatory when you are talking about huge disparities in age and wealth.

However I watched the programme linked in the OP and I can understand the woman who married the Egyptian dive instructor. The age gap wasn’t huge, they were probably similarly attractive as she was younger by a few years when they first met than she is in the programme.
He had a decent job in the same field as her and they met through work. The fact they were both working and living in a third country, wealthy Dubai, will have made it seem more natural and it wouldn’t have been as obvious that he had something else to gain through marrying her. It’s not like their “romance” was conducted through the internet. Lots of people’s genuine romances will have begun in a similar way.

I had one of these, years ago on Twitter. Thing is I had met and worked with the famous person, so I replied accordingly. This seemed to freak out the scammer who left the chat immediately.

Why be so eager to villify victims but not say a word about the actual criminal perpetrators? And why only women victims? Men fall for romance scams too. Or was the misogyny the point?

In my friend's case, he did meet her. They were engaged etc. She played a very convincing and impressive game and I suspect she had several men she was stringing along at the same time. I bet she is still at it.

It's just not the same. They're anonymous teams of scammers in what's almost a call centre workplace. We all know they're evil bastards.

My grandmother has been involved in this situation and there's so much information out there, but they don't listen. They're capable of watching TV shows - she's seen several episodes of Scam Interceptors - but was stubborn and still convinced Dermot Murnaghan was her new best mate.

I might say the victims of romance scammers were idiots if I hadn’t made any foolish mistakes or disastrous choices in my own life. Sometimes we’re more vulnerable than others. Sometimes our ‘be nice and trust people’ conditioning overrides our self-preservation instinct.

I don't understand it. I heard this woman talk about her experience on radio and I just couldn't get past why would Chris Martin want an online relationship with an Irish woman he never met and why would he need financial help? Did she never question any of it at all!! Mind boggling

https://www.dublinlive.ie/news/dublin-woman-scammed-out-25000-30905606

I think conversely, there are others who are highly self confident and so find it entirely plausible that the man has fallen for them

That is a very interesting point. I had never thought of it from that angle.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2009/nov/03/con-man-dpp-jailed

This guy convinced a woman he was Keir Starmer. There's been a series on Apple TV about him.

The lady who met the Egyptian scuba diver through her work was not an idiot in your link though. They looked like a genuine couple/ similar age and it was believable that he loved her.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1224248/Seduced-King-Con-Two-victims-liar-claimed-Britains-law-chief-tell-surreal-stories.html

This is the woman who fell for the Keir Starmer fraud. You would never believe she would but she did.

But you're not "warning" them - that would be constructive - you're calling them "idiots", which is neither constructive or helpful (but certainly is nasty).
Everyone is susceptible to being scammed if the conditions are right - literally everyone - and the people who are arrogant enough to believe it would never happen to them are at the greatest risk. I always have the attitude of not "if" I'm scammed, but "when" because that keeps me hyper-vigilant. It's the smug "it'll never happen to me" types who become complacent and get caught out. I just hope that when you are scammed, people around you will show you more sympathy than you can muster for other victims.

Yes its easy to be drawn in but why would you give money to them?

That's it for me too. I'd never, ever give any of my hard earned cash to any johnny come lately bloke no matter how good looking or believable they are.

Hmm, I wouldn't mind being romance scammed by a hot, younger guy 😏 Enjoy the love bombing and make myself scarce when the demands start. Checking package deals to the Gambia ...

They are all monumental idiots, without exception. But they're likely also extremely lonely and vulnerable too.

I can't bring myself to feel sorry for them, but it is sad.

A woman came into our local Facebook group one day with a couple of screenshots and asking if this was a scam. There was a guy with a sob story, asking for money, etc etc. Everyone replied "Yes, it's a scam, get out of there".

She replied, "Oh. Are you sure? I gave another guy about £10k last year and he did turn out to be a scammer, but this time it feels different". 😱

Agree, @AngelicKaty - it's a bit like the regular threads here by abused women, who "can't be abused" because they're therapists or Women's Aid staffers. There's nothing like believing your own invulnerability to make you vulnerable!

Like wife beater wrinkly wizened wino johnny depp is even a lure 🤣

What about the middle aged men falling for much younger gorgeous women from faraway culture? It is the same

I thought the photoshopped Brad Pitts was a hoot, I’d have been tempted to pay just in recognition of the effort involved 😂🤣
https://www.mcafee.com/blogs/internet-security/brad-pitt-romance-scam-explained-how-to-prevent-scams/

Not necessarily 'idiots'. Take my 80 year old Dad who has little experience of social media, is widowed and has dementia. He grew up in an era when people were more trusting and he's no longer the sharp as a dart individual he was.
Fortunately, my dad can't be scammed financially (when he lost mental capacity I took over his banking as Power of Attorney) but it doesn't stop them trying.
'Vulnerable' is perhaps a better word, OP.