To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

Can you really not see how this can happen?
As someone in my mid 50’s who’s mother has dementia so I have seen it all I have set up a trust with my DH to protect at least 50% of our assets when one of us believes someone half our age is our perfect match.

There is a huge gap between having capacity and officially losing it.

Still waiting for my super rich Nigerian Prince to send me my inheritance

That's incredibly rude. Why would you assume that?

This is a nasty thread.

I think it’s far too simplistic to say that they’re vulnerable.

The tinder swindler women were fuelled by greed. He gave them the lavish lifestyle, the helicopter trips, the hotel rooms, and once that started to dry up the women wanted it back, so they gave him money.

Same with the 419 scammers who promise you millions for laundering money through your bank account.

`or the “you’ve won the Canadian lottery, but you need to pay an admin fee of £xxx to get the money” ones, despite the fact you never actually bought a ticket.

Not idiots,just very vulnerable women who make easy prey for these scammers. I'm pretty hard nosed and cynical so I don't think I would ever fall for one,but then I'm not the slightest bit interested in looking for romance,so that probably helps! I am SO over men 😂 I've lost count of the times I've had some chancer message me on Facebook, trying their luck. I just block them.

I didn't say we are all susceptible to a romance scam. As humans, we are all susceptible to being scammed, which doesn't mean we will be, but there is potential for any of us to be. Which isn't speaking for everyone and isn't saying everyone will be scammed.

Some very intelligent people have been brainwashed in cults or fallen for dishonest, narcissistic partners who exploit them. Usually when they are caught at a very vulnerable time in their lives where their self esteem is low ot they have suffered trauma.

I guess there are different kinds of intelligence. Maybe victims of psychological exploitation lack emotional intelligence, at that time.

But calling them idiots is simplistic and unhelpful.

I used to say why can’t women in abusive relationships just leave?
And then it happened to me…

The idiots are the scammers. Can't make an honest living so target vulnerable people.

I am sorry

Well most of the women in the video I've posted are not in the "vulnerable category." So what on earth drives them to part with their hard earned money?

I nearly fell for a scam about 20 years ago. Usual stuff, works in engineering, needs money to get to England etc.etc because his money is tied up (or something). I believed it for quite a while because at that time there was nothing in the media anywhere which was highlighting scamming as it does now. If there had been, I would never have got to the stage where he started asking for money. However, I asked him why I would give money to someone I had never even met and he got incredibly abusive and I realised what was happening. So no, I didn't fall for the scam- not everyone does.

The thing is, the scammers intentionally use obvious tactics to ensure they're not wasting time on people who will see through the scam.

It's like the emails from Nigerian princes which are full of grammatical errors. The errors are intentional, because if someone isn't switched on enough to spot that the email is an obvious fraud, they're far more likely to be susceptible to a blatant lie and end up giving money.

Crazy thought, but some people may have different life experiences to you that may make them vulnerable. I’d save the name calling for the scammers and show a little empathy for those who made choices that were not to their benefit. Honestly. What an unkindly framed post. You say you wanted to draw attention to scammers but you framed things as how stupid people who fall for it are and how clever you are for not doing so and your further posts seem to be trying to reiterate your point. I think you would be showing more genuine support for those who are victims of such scammers by showing a little empathy and not putting yourself above everyone- so far those who victims, people on MN that need to be warned by you and scammers themselves. One day you may also be vulnerable in some way and someone take advantage of you. We are all susceptible to making not so great choices. I wish you well but please reflect on how you choose to make your points.

Anyone watched "catfished" on YouTube. There are women giving away hundreds of thousands to romance scammers they've never met. They are attractive men working on an oil rig or military US Army men in Syria who need money to get the out of there. All BS but the ladies keep falling for it,

Yeah definitely not everyone is. Almost every single scammer story I’ve seen is ridiculous to me, sending money to people you’ve never ever met in person? Who would do that? Not me - ever!

But then I’ve seen a story involving a man who randomly met women in hotel bars and lied to them. He was a lot more believable and makes at least some sense that they trusted this person they actually met in person and thought they were in a proper relationship with.

The classic online scammers or holiday “romances” with huge ages gaps are just absurd though.

Yes and what’s interesting is plenty of these men and women would say no to giving a penny to any friend or family in need but yet they’re throwing it at someone they’ve never even laid eyes on in person. All those cases I’ve seen with the man allegedly working on an oil rig they’ve been conventionally attractive so I do feel these women are being superficial - and for the first time in their life they feel they have someone worth looking at so they lose their common sense. I don’t feel sorry for them in most cases.

Same applies to men though.

I saw one case in the papers recently of a 70 year old man who gave away his life savings to a Ugandan woman who disappeared before he got on the plane to meet her . They didn’t mention it but I bets she was half his age. He is saying the bank should reimburse him despite the fact they warned him that it sounded dodgy before he transferred the money. He needs to grow up and take accountability.

I agree. Some are lonely and vulnerable for sure, but a lot of them are simply so incredibly stubborn and arrogant they refuse to accept the truth, despite family and friends warning them continually. You have to wonder about how big-headed you have to be to genuinely believe that Hollywood superstar Brad Pitt is begging to marry you, a 65 year old nurse from Rotherham.

This is what I immediately think of - arrogance and delusion.
I particularly lack sympathy for those that ignore the concerns of close family and friends, who have previously never given any reasons for jealousy and wanting to stand in the way of their happiness .

I think idiot is a strong insult.

Loneliness can make people do things that aren't well thought out.

Sex and Sexual attraction in many cases.

And no I don’t agree with pp that they’re all poor vulnerable women . Some are extremely predatory.

Have you seen the middle aged women getting with young men from poor countries who are not much older than their sons/nephews etc? How is that not gross and unethical.

They know they’re basically buying these young men.

In these cases the scammers and the scammed are both trying to exert power over each other, but the scammed are a bit more arrogant and don’t realise what’s happening. The scammers play along until they are in a better position and then they flip it.

Again, my opinion is the same towards the older British men who pull this crap going “shopping” for young women in Asia etc.

You are amazing. Everyone should be like you.

There ya go. I have indulged your desire to feel superior.

Is it only the victims of romance scams who are idiots? What about other scams?

There's an organisation called Scamhaters United that works really hard on getting these banned.

My partner's friend married an Asian woman and brought her to this country. It all fell apart a couple of years ago and now he's lost half his main asset (the house) and she's got what she wanted all along, half his money and a British passport. It's called playing the long game but same result.