To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

I wouldn’t say idiots but honestly I do shake my head in despair at the millions of obvious red flags they completely ignore.

Lets be honest m, 65 year old Doris from Wigan who uses a mobility vehicle should really know that Mohammed a 27 year old ‘doctor’ from Egypt who wants to move to the UK after a dozen WhatsApp messages really is not her soulmate and he doesn’t need her life savings to release his gold bullion from customs

Because they persuade you they love you? Because you are lonely and desperate for connection?

have always existed, and people have always been duped.

There’s no need to be so nasty.

It's controversial but hardly reportable.
It's an interesting question tbf

I do struggle to understand why you give money to someone you haven't met guess I am cold hearted. Why don't companies hosting Web sites take action they know its being run out of Nigeria block then

why?

I think they’ve got massively high self esteem to think these young bucks (celebrities even!) would look at them once let alone twice 😂

Adding to my original post. The money becomes an exchange for the fantasy/escapism to continue.

A bit like an alcoholic will exchange money for the escapism alcohol provides (they know deep down it's bad for them - I mean how can they possibly not !?)

So in this example: the vulnerable person is so desperate to keep the alternate reality that the scammer is creating, and they're not ready to be dealt the blow of reality, so when the inevitable money requests start rolling in, they turn a blind eye to what they deep down know it means. To keep the pin from pricking their bubble.

The money keeps the "fantasy" alive for a bit longer. It's very sad.

But romance fraud is aimed at both males and females and either are in a vulnerable state when they are approached. It's sad that there's not more awareness about it.

It's a bit harsh calling them idiots though. Society puts so much pressure on people to be in active relationships that it's no wonder people are sucked in.

The best advice would be to learn to be comfortable on your own before starting any relationship.

It’s easy to think that but I think it’s mostly that they’re desperately lonely. So they ignore how it’s obviously a scam just to have someone to talk to.

No we’re not. I find it incomprehensible that any person of sound mind & judgement, with any iota of common sense would fall for this nonsense

I was on a dating site - a guy messaged me. I responded, we chatted. Then we texted. I immediately looked up his # - he was telling me he was from one city but his # was definitely not in that city. It was hundreds of miles away. 🚩
I invited him to visit. We made plans, organised, and the night before the visit he texted to say his company was sending him to Europe (I’m in US) for something. I didn’t think much about it because I’m trusting so I said bye.
But I’m not stupid, either. So I asked him to please send me photos of his trip.
He sends me one photo of someone highly resembling him, but not him and he tells me he’s standing in front of some famous bridge in Rome - I reverse google it. I tell him, first, that isn’t you and second, that’s the whatever bridge in Sardinia. 🚩
He doesn’t answer for awhile and then he answers and argues with me that I’m mistaken blah blah.
So he “gets back” a few days later and the first thing he does is ask me for money. 🚩
I ask him if he thinks this is appropriate.
Then I blocked him and reported the whole thing to the dating site. They said never to leave the site and start texting someone because they can’t protect you then.

Yes, I have a male friend I know from my time in hospital for MH issues. He is a lovely guy, but so lonely. He posts on various pages on FB, and will get some random woman comment on his comments about how he has nice eyes or something like that. He will always get into a convo with them, and they say to PM them.
He would absolutely fall for any scams. He is not an idiot. Just vulnerable and lonely.

I saw my dad go from a savvy business man in his 60s to being susceptible to scams in his 70s. I was constantly having to intervene, not romance but people wanting his money. Him having unfettered access to a computer and phone was a big worry. His mind wasn’t the same.

No we don't if someone has full capacity their is nothing anyone can do to protect them. Don't you think these women who send all there life savings to some random bloke in his 20s don't have family and friends telling them how ridiculous they are but it makes no difference as you can't stop/protect an adult making a dumb decision

This is a very good way of looking at it.

Yet another bullying thread aimed at those perceived less than average intelligence when we're all wired in different ways.

Completely agree. Some people are extremely manipulative and prepared to play the long game. I’d be wary of crowing too loudly about your immunity to being scammed. People can betray you when you least expect it. I hope it doesn’t happen to you, because the hurt and betrayal are indescribable (I speak from bitter experience here, albeit not in a romantic context) but please don’t dismiss those who misplace their trust as idiotic.

This. I know so many people who will go from relationship to relationship or stay in violent and abusive relationships and be scared and miserable rather then being on their own because they have never learnt how to be

It's hard not to agree to be honest. I sort of think they know they are being scammed. They know this guy 20, 30 years younger than them is only after money/visa. But they are just so desperate for love they hold on to the hope that they aren't. And it happens to plenty of men too.

If you're getting loads of romance scammers on a daily basis then you haven't got your privacy settings in place... which makes you an idiot too!

The thing I don't get is that if they are just scamming you, it can't feel like a real relationship can it? Surely you wouldn't have a proper connection with that person? Maybe people who have never known a normal relationship would be drawn in more? Because I feel like I can spot bullshit a mile off. And I can always tell when someone doesn't actually like me.

just stay off Instagram?

seriously who needs all that crap?

It’s so much deeper than people realise. These scammers are kept as slaves in compounds and are violently beaten if they don’t make enough money for their gangmasters. It’s actually horrific.

I know a victim who refuses to accept she’s being scammed. She is convinced this ‘man’ is the love of her life. She has given him everything, lost her home and lost her family who have done everything (including approaching her GP, social services, bank, police etc) to try and get her to see sense. Nobody can help, they all say it’s her money and she can do what she wants with it. She is addicted to ‘him’. She won’t be told that ‘he’ is actually multiple slaves working in a scam-farm. She is convinced that she will get her money back.

That's the whole point. For whatever reason, they are not making sound judgements but that doesn't make them idiots. There are plenty of circumstances in life that can result in us not making sound judgements. Looking from the outside we see poor judgement in every aspect of life and we can't rationalise why people do certain things because we wouldnt, or think we wouldn't, do the same thing. We look for society to protect people who are being manipulated to make poor judgements or are vulnerable and we judge and punish those taking advantage of their situation. But for some reason when it comes to romance scams we laugh at them and say 'how could they fall for that' and call them idiots.

Not true! I can 100% say with certainty that I would never fall for a romance scam. You don’t speak for everyone.