To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

I've just caught up on this. She married him; they divorced four years later. He spent two of those years in prison for drug dealing. She found out early on what he did for a living, and there was an episode where she was seen "stopping him going to work" - she'd seen that he was walking into a trap chasing a big deal (the show didn't reveal what his "work" was). He cheated on her in their first few months of marriage.

It's a weird story all round, but not quite the story the show told!

$300,000 for a ring! Mind you, they immediately dropped the price to a more reasonable 150k!

Just for balance, an idiot man.

OP, I agree that the romance scammed are idiots. A lot of people are idiots. Just like the guys who chopped down that tree a Hadrian's Wall. Another form of idiocy.

Sorry but how on earth do these people start sending £1000’s to someone they’ve never met?
I do feel sympathy for vulnerable people but common sense has to kick in surely?

This is very funny.

Jason Statham wants to be my boyfriend on Instagram. That's made my day.

You are so lucky.

It is the only reason that I am grateful for my low self esteem. If a "handsome" (or even a not so handsome) young man approached me saying that I am the love of his life I just laugh in his face.

Afterthought...

A couple of days ago I was told by a young man that I am "sexy" and another expressed an interest in me. This is in London (British guys) and I have to say I was really flattered. I thought i must really look nice that day. So who knows? If they had done that while I was in the depths of grief my account might have already been emptied.

Oh you're so right. I've often thought that the huge sums these vain, usually old, grannies (and grandads) send to total strangers would buy them a lot of hookers/escorts, and no repercussions. But I read a report recently from an American University researching into the whole phenomenon, which said that the women in particular, when being scammed, focus on appearing in front of their friends and family with an adoring young, handsome man on their arm, and that is the only consequence of their actions that they can see. It's particularly strong in those who have much younger female relatives.

Does Rosie know? She needs to LTB!

Common sense is not so common.

Brad Pitt messaged me earlier in the week

Well jel! ...

Fool me once, that's your fault. Fool me twice, that's my fault.

I have to admit, I didn't really get how people could fall for it until I watched a documentary on how the good ones do it.

They work on their victims for months, sometimes years before the requests for money start. They build up a relationship which will have all the appearance of depth. They aren't always posing as attractive youngsters either.

These people are good at what they do. What we see on the TV often doesn't cover the full development of the 'relationship'. What appears to be a few months of romantic messages may be much more deep-seated.

They time the financial requests with precision, depending on the 'relationship' and situation of the victim.

I don't get how you think you're in a relationship with someone you've never met IRL. If they don't want to meet up after a couple of weeks then walk away.

A lot of these people pretend to be from thousands of miles away. Meeting up a few weeks after chatting isn't realistic if you believe you are talking to someone in, say, America.

A lot of the scams use the distance and the desire to meet as a means of extracting money.

The big I do struggle with is how, in this day and age, they've never had a face to face WhatsApp chat...

What a vile thread hiding behind a thin mask of concern. I work within the criminal justice system, victims are vulnerable by their very definition.

We should educate not berate.

The joy some posters seem to be taking from the victims situation is not nice to see.

Last night, I watched Sweet Bobby on Netflix. It's the true story of an English woman who was catfished in a relationship for over NINE YEARS. She's not dumb, she had a great job and social life, she's close to her family. This fake relationship almost destroyed her.

She never met the guy. She has some emotional flaws and vulnerabilities, nothing out of the ordinary but the perpetrator leveraged them with psychopathic brilliance. It was really interesting (and horrible) to watch how they wove her real life into the fake world they'd created, drawing her in further and breaking down her defences.

Carefully trying to avoid spoilers but, if you'd rather read the short version, it's online! The documentary was prompted by a six-part podcast that fills out the background and details.

Wow.

This is it, they are good at what they do, and the most successful ones aren't asking for money after a few chats. They can play a waiting game, as long as it takes, because they've often got several victims at different stages on the go at once.

Scammers target the vulnerable. And if you are not in the right space of mind, you can be easily manipulated.

Saying that, if you think Brad Pitt is actually messaging you, and asking for money whilst declaring undying love, then you need to have a word with yourself.

I met a guy years ago, new on the dating scene. He seemed a bit sketchy, but at the time I was only looking for fun, and he was good on the sack (yes, shallow!)

Anyway, he told me he was a barrister. I didn't think much of it, as I dont need a barrister. He did ask for money (small amounts) a few times, but he always paid me back.

He was going through his own divorce, and I was a chronic people pleaser back then, so when he asked me to be a guarantor for his rent (thinking he was a barrister), I had agreed, as there was never any red flags with money and not getting it back.

Months later, I was getting phone calls from the letting agency asking for payments. Apparently, this man was now in jail, for fraud (he was in fact not a barrister and had got loads of women to send money for divorces to the tune of 13k) and he owed the letting agent £1k.

As a guarantor, I had to pay up or be sent to court. I also had no way of contacting this man as he was in jail.

8 months later, he was released and ended up at my door, and paid me back half there and then. He said he would give me the other half the following month, but I told him just to post it through the letterbox. It never came, and I deleted and blocked all ties to him.

Its the closest I got to a "scam", and I was really quite vulnerable at the time.

I wonder how many of your victims think Brad Pitt or some stranger on the Internet is in love with them and sends thousands of dollars to them. They usually ask for bitcoin or steam cards

Not trying to be snarky, genuinely interested to hear your take - I know someone quite a few people if truth be told with a long history of financial criminality such as shop lifting, fraud etc - young single parents, lifelong poverty, no stable family (childhoods spent in the care system) substance abuse issues, surviver types - I would personally class these as vulnerable, but a lot of them still face prison time.
What do you think?