To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

If you are a kind and decent woman who has built a life for herself why would you not think yourself desirable and worthy of love?

There's a difference between worthy of love, and worthy of the sexual attraction of a far younger and better looking person.

Turning this back for a moment, your comment demonstrates that 'mentally ill' is seen as an insult.

Since it is clearly not 'sane' to send money to an online persona you've never met but claims to love you, there is some mental malfunction going on there. And, while 'mentally unwell' is an insult, it's easy to see why victims don't seek help.

Mental illness is a vulnerability, not a character flaw.

@Uricon2 to some extent I believe in the know where you sit mentality - I’m 63, consider myself reasonably intelligent, can converse about lots, like cooking , but need to lose 4 stone and whilst relatively attractive ( albeit overweight) I can imagine a comfortably off , reasonably attractive 56 to 66 year old bloke who isn’t obsessed about appearance might be attracted to me, I’m not going to cut the mustard for a 35 year old well off handsome dude - who will be after cash/lifestyle/visa - and has lied !!

@Crikeyalmighty I agree. It doesn't even have to be the implausible megastars with their pick of women. Apart from the fact anyone (male or female) taking up with a 3/4 decades younger person is very dubious in the best of circumstances, I have a mirror and am able to use it!

I've just seen an update from a man I used to know through work: he's married a woman who looks a good 30 years younger than him. He wrote about how he never thought he'd find such happiness, etc, but didn't think to name his wife.

This sort of marriage is so commonplace, it isn't too hard to see that others would think "why not me?" I'm not suggesting my acquaintance had never met his nameless bride before - but I can understand how some would think, well, this does happen, all I need to do is facilitate his/her travel to the UK and we'll go from there.

But then again, I married a man two decades younger than me (and half my age at the time) whom I met online. He wasn't a scammer and we met in a mutual interest group - our relationship didn't work out but only after eight years together. So a man simply being a lot younger doesn't automatically rule out any romance. This is what makes it so difficult - a woman being approached by a younger man can probably name at least two of her acquaintances who have had real, actual relationships with younger men. (Plus I'm no beauty and didn't have a great deal going for me, but my ex fell for my personality...)

I met an American man when I lived in Asia who had been cleaned out three times by three different Asian brides. You would think he'd have learned his lesson the first time.

The 90 day fiancée programme is an eye opener about how totally mercenary these people overseas are, male or female. DH had a single colleague he worked with who said, no way I'm getting involved with any of these women. They think I'm an ATM.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat no offence intended, my husband is older than me. I'm really talking about the implausibility of someone in their 50s 60s or older thinking that someone in their 20s they've never or hardly met and with whom they have zero in common has fallen madly in love with them over the Internet/on a weeks holiday.

It is surely wishful thinking

Seriously, I would worry about any partner being so committed to materialism in case they tried to bump me off!

This. I feel sorry for them, deep down they may know that they’ll get hurt at some point but are desperately lonely.

I watched this episode of 90 Day Fiancee where a Russian woman who had been bought over by her not very attractive American boyfriend was demanding expensive designer goods in every store and throwing a strop when he said he didn't have that money. I'm wondering if these boat people coming over think we are all millionaires with loads of money to blow on designer bags and other fripperies.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat be honest though was he handsome, high flying career and had a ton going for him himself?? I also know a couple like this but he’s a very average joe and a bit of a loner and she’s somewhat similar but a good job and kind of natch in the looks department

None of these things apply! He was Scottish though... so the lure of the accent came into play...

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat exactly- so it was not unrealistic - love a Scottish accent myself!!

Did anyone see "Con Mum" on Netflix about someone's Mum who not only cons her son but his entire circle of friends? How could you do that to your own son? There is obviously a very special brand of psychopathy for con artists.

I just think this is a type of psychopathic behaviour that is not only evil but very dangerous and I don't think the authorities take it seriously enough. They think it's daft old folk or silly women getting conned.

I think that so many people only think of romance scammers as the 'Hi It's Keanu Reeves here and I think I've fallen in love with your picture, please send me money' type, but there are many many different approaches that these dreadful people use. It's not all the very obvious to spot ones that have had people on here dismissing the victims as 'idiots'. There are others that are more subtle but just as insidious and dangerous. But you are right, the authorities aren't doing enough to stop it happening. It shouldn't matter whether the victims are female, male, old, senile, insecure or lonely, every case of romance scam should be investigated and hopefully stamped on.

Absolutely. Very well-articulated.

Here's the 90 day fiancée about a Russian woman who's very obviously romance scamming her naive American boyfriend.

No need to call them idiots. In the words of James O'Brien when discussing Brexit, Contempt for the conmen, compassion for the conned

😂😂😂

Hmm. That was when the people who voted for Brexit were being called "Gammon" and those who voted for Trump being called "deplorable." Including James O'brien, otherwise known as "Jobbie."

Yes, idiots.

Speaking of conmen...
O'Brien has been having conniptions at the thought that men will no longer be free to invade women's spaces and masturbate in them. Therefore, I won't be taking his opinions on international affairs as gospel, thanks.
But hey, you do you!