To not want to share a room at age 27?

[Tangw]

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

And?
Being under 27 is not the same as being an actual child.

Younger. Not kids.

How do you know the op abandoned this thread as soon as she wrote it

How did YOU know when you decided it was a 'kids' room?

We don't know the full facts. But if there are no single rooms, if everyone else is sharing and OP isn't paying then I think she either shares, finds somewhere else to stay or declines the holiday.

If OP is happy to pay extra for her own room in a bigger property that everyone else is happy with then of course that would be ok or if there are other single people with their own rooms that are never asked to share that's unfair but otherwise it isn't fair to make everyone else pay extra if they are willing to share and OP isn't.

I don't im making it up

I shared on holiday twice this year and I’m in my forties, if you don’t want to share find alternative accommodation.

Absolute rubbish for you to suggest this is the case for all people who are single.

I'm sorry if you weren't happy with your life at that stage, but to pretend that all young people in their 20s (as per the OP) are somehow "suffering" is laughable.

That’s a shame, we have a family holiday every year and it’s lovely, lots of great memories to savour when we are no longer able to.

So do we

Right, why do anything for other people when you already get top pick of everything, eh?

Because there is no need.
The accommodation has enough beds for everyone.
So everyone can stay there.
If one person has made up some weird rule that they can't possible share a room on holiday because they have turned 27, then that person can choose to stay somewhere nearby if they think that is preferable. However there is no reason why anyone else would, because they are accepting the arrangements that have been made - even though some are no doubt in what could be perceived as "better" rooms than other couples. Most normal people whose families go away in a big group understand they are a nightmare to organise and any perceived negatives are swallowed up by the fact everyone can get together like this.

How about the OP staying in a bedroom, while one member of the couple bunks in with the teen and the other sleeps on a sofa, as some have suggested the OP do? Why should couples always get the comfiest arrangements?

This is utter poppycock.

"Tied to your status"
"Not graduated to adulthood"

"They are not enough"

What "top pick?"

They are sharing two to a room, just as everyone else is. No advantages. Equal, completely equal.

If anything, they're likely disadvantaged, as they probably have to share a bed, rather than having a single bed to themselves.

But why? And what "comfiest arrangements"? Everyone has the same - half a 2 person room and one bed space per person. (Two single beds is probably comfier than one shared double though, especially if its a small double, but the single people will likely be prioritised for those better beds).

If person A 's preference when needing to share is to share with person B, and person B preference is to share with Person A, why make them share with someone else? Where possible, why would people not share with the people they prefer to?

And why would OP prefer to sleep with one member of a couple (presumably in a double bed) rather than another single family member of a similar age and gender in a single bed in a twin room?

Or are you saying that OP should be one person getting a whole 2 person bedroom and TWO bedspaces to herself, whilst forcing someone to not have a room and have to sleep on a sofa. How selfish would you have to be to do that! One bedspace per person is far fairer than one person getting 2 bedspaces with that under occupancy forcing another person to get 0 bedspaces and no proper bed?

You keep spouting bitter, petty spite.

Everybody has to share. Everybody. People who mutually are happy to share with each other shouldn't be prevented to do so, purely to try to make them unhappy. It's the mentality of a child breaking a toy when it's someone else's turn "If I can't have it I'll break it so you can't have it" or RyanAir's seating policy, separating people for the sake of it.

Couples are getting no advantage. They are getting half a room per person and one bedspace per person, just as OP is. They have to share, just as OP is expected to.

So the OP gets a double to herself and another adult has to sleep on the sofa because there aren't enough beds.

Yes I'm sure that will strike the group as a good arrangement all round.

I'm just asking people to think outside of the box. Have you ever paused to contemplate how solo people are treated in your family?

If sleeping on the sofa or sharing a room with someone you seldom see such a bad thing, why is it often expected of people who travel without a partner? Why shouldn't a single person get a room to themselves, regardless of the size of the bed in the room?

The OP is not being asked to sleep on the sofa. There is a bed for everyone.

No one is forcing her to go on this holiday if it is not entirely to her satisfaction. She can say no. If she wants a holiday entirely suited to what she wants, I suggest she organises it herself.

Sleeping on a sofa is less than ideal and would generally only happen if there aren't enough beds. One single or two people in a couple would typically be put on a sofabed - so yet again the single would get the better deal. Sharing a room is completely normal, and the couples would be doing it in just the same way as singles would. The issue is singles wanting preferential treatment and to have two peoples spaces to themselves as one person (and generally expecting someone else to foot the bill for that choice).

Solo people are treated marginally favourably to couples in my experience.
They get priority for a bed of their own when there's a mix of solo beds and shared beds
They get priority for single rooms when there's a mix of private single rooms and shared double rooms
If there's an odd number of people and only double rooms, they'll be the ones getting a whole private double room to themselves at no extra cost.

@TheHerboriste @mrsm43s

It’s interesting, because my DH’s single sister is prioritized in his family. We always have to gather at her house because she refuses to use a dog sitter…the rest of us are expected to though, plus always paying the traveling costs.

She also doesn’t like to cook so we have to prepare food or get takeaways/eat out when we’re there. I’d love to host Christmas one year, but she won’t come and my in-laws won’t leave her alone. Before anyone suggests otherwise, she’s NT, a successful professional with a nice house, car, etc. She’s nice but stubborn, and doesn’t always consider the effect of her actions on other people.

So not everyone neglects single people, sometimes it’s the opposite. 🤷

The obvious thing is to have a room charge instead of a bed charge and then everyone can decide for themselves. Seems super obvious to me that it’s very different to share a room with your partner who you have chosen a life with as opposed to being told you are sharing a room with a random cousin who happens to also be single. But I’m not close with extended family at all so maybe I don’t understand.

anyway, Op is an adult and can just say no thank you if it doesn’t work. At any age, 27 or not!

In my family it's me or DH who ends up on the sofa <shrug>. If there aren't quite enough beds to go round then kids are on air beds in their parents' bedrooms. So yes I have contemplated it, and I think we are fine.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but noe do I think sharing with a relative of the same gender is particularly unusual or unreasonable. I'm much older than 27 and have shared a room with relatives and friends lots of times.

Ultimately, you can express your preference but not force others to agree to it. If they don't, you get to choose whether it's a big enough deal to not attend over.

I agree that it might be worth you sourcing a suitable property and offering to pay the increase in price, that might get more agreement.