To not want to share a room at age 27?

[Tangw]

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

Couples are two people and are sharing a two person room. OP and her cousin are two people and are sharing a two person room.

Lucky OP who doesn't have to share with someone of the opposite sex, unlike most couples (adding in my own, somewhat irrelevant criteria, just like your "of the same household" criteria.)

Same privacy afforded to everyone. Two individual people sharing a room designed for two people.

No bias.

One big fat chip on the shoulder.

Same re your 1st paragraph! 😊

If it's only about "bedspace" and minimising costs, why not rent a villa with fewer rooms but put more people in them? There's nothing magic about "two per room" and I've seen many holiday villas that will accommodate three or four per room. Two double beds, bunk beds, inflatables, etc.

Surely to obviate the need to rent a more expensive place, couples would be happy t sleep four to a room with cousin Rose and Onslo, right? What's the big deal? If mixing households is good enough for solos, it's good enough for them.

I don't have a chip on my shoulder because I don't have to economize and accept sub-par treatment. I do feel it's important to point out bias agains solo people.

You seem incapable of understanding that sharing a room with a member of one's own household is not even remotely comparable to being assigned shared sleeping and relaxing space with a distant relative one seldom sees, or a younger cousin, or other non-member of one's household. I don't know what to say to someone who can't empathize with or comprehend those nuances.

@Commonsense22 I just don't think that there's a viable solution unless they rent a larger house and it sounds as if the rest of the group want to stick with the house that they've always rented. Perhaps they get it at a good rate because they return year after year, who knows.

It's like going to my SIL's for Thanksgiving (we're in the US). I personally don't think she's the best host of the family, but if everyone else wants to go, we either join in or miss out.

I do insist on having a hotel rather than sleeping in the basement though - tried that once and never again. 😁

YANBU.

I would absolutely hate it, and I would be happy to pay extra to have a room of my own.

I don't even like sharing a tent when camping, unless it's with a partner.

Someone will have to share with you, and probably doesn't want to. Why don't you just not go & then you will make 2 people happy?

I'm married. When I go away with my husband, I share with my husband. When I go away with friends, I share with a friend. When I go away on a family girls trip, I share with Mum or adult DD. All equally fine, even though Mum, adult DD and friends are not part of my "household". I probably prefer sharing with the others over DH, if the truth be told, because snoring.

If it's a wider thing like a hen do, where I could end up sharing with a stranger, I happily pay extra for the luxury of my own room.

I'm not afforded extra privileges for being married. I pay for what I use, as everyone should.

I see no benefit in sharing with DH over a same sex friend or relative.

In my expérience, most people feel the same. Sharing with a stranger or an opposite sex friend or relative might be problematic, but same sex friends or relatives are fine. But, if you don't like it, make it clear at the planning stage, and pay the extra costs involved.

I could maybe share a room for a night or two. But i like alone time and wind down time after being with people all day. So after a couple of days I'd start getting irritable. I would either only go for a couple of days or not go at all, or stay somewhere else if I could afford it.

As long as it was someone I had a good relationship with it wouldn’t bother me. Unless they were a loud snorer.
I’m sharing a twin room with a friend on holiday this year. We got a much better deal that way.

Indeed.

Single family members generally draw the short straw. Their privacy is apparently far less important than that of married people’s.

Who is paying OP?

if you are paying for yourself then yes, you can have more of a say.

We used to rent holiday homes - us and our DC plus my parents . We’d take a four bedroom house but because the DC had a room each me and DH paid 3/4 of the cost and DP just 1/4 as paid per room. That’s fair

@TheHerboriste “needs must on holiday” and sharing 3 adults to a king size bed. Fuck that 😂

@Tangw nothing magical happens between 19 and 27 to make sharing any more or less weird. It’s just about preference at whatever age. Who’s paying for what, and how the rooms are allocated for others, are all relevant though.

And all of those saying “ as long as they don’t snore”

You know that snorers don’t do it on purpose? Thats why I find sharing tricky - I worry about my snoring being disturbing and do I rarely sleep much or very well.

Are you paying? This as others have suggested makes all the difference.

Same privacy if 2 sharing a 2 person room as any other 2 people sharing a two person room.

Married couples are two separate people, with individual preferences, who have to compromise to share, just like any two other people have to compromise when sharing.

Single people seem to erroneously think that "a couple" is one homogenous unit with neither party having independent thoughts or preferences.

nothing magical happens between 19 and 27 to make sharing any more or less weird. It’s just about preference at whatever age. Who’s paying for what, and how the rooms are allocated for others, are all relevant though.

Not magical, but at 19 I was a student and stayed in cheap places, sometimes sharing with friends because I couldn’t expect anything else. By 27, my expectations of what a holiday was had increased as I had enough money to stay in nice places and never needed to share a room apart from with my partner.

Are you willing to pay double what those sharing are paying to have a room for yourself alone?

We're about to go on holiday with our adult kids and 2 of our kids in their mid 20s will be sharing a room. They seem perfectly happy with the plan as they're getting a free holiday in the sun. In fact, they can't wait to go!

“needs must on holiday” and sharing 3 adults to a king size bed. Fuck that 😂

I suspect when 3 adults go on holiday and share a kingsize bed they are indeed fucking that.

The important part is that they’re happy with it. OP isn’t. Just because some people are happy to share, doesn’t mean everyone is.

@Scarfitwere Yes, I’m planning a summer trip with a friend and assuming that we’ll share a twin room.

I’m fine if she prefers singles, but she’s generally even cheaper than me so I doubt it. 🤣

I'm 46 and will share with a friend when I get together in an air bnb. I don't pay less when others get their own room.

Sharing with a female cousin to get what is presumably a nice cheap holiday and time with family is worth it.

I’ll share at any age, with any age. It really wouldn’t bother me as long as it wasn’t permanent.

I’d just get my own hotel room close by if it bothered me so much.

Sharing a room isn't weird at all, especially with family. I have often shared a room and bed with my female cousins. It's great fun actually. We ended up laughing and talking way after everyone went to bed.