Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

I'm not am incel or a bot I'm a 70 year old woman with experience of the world and a modicum of common sense.

but he didn’t. If you read her first thread - you will see he immediately left. He never pestered her or kept on and on at her. That’s the whole point.

It its a harmless drunk commen, what on earth makes you think his career will be ruined and people will hound him on SM? You can't have it both ways. Either its not that bad so he will be vindicated and face no criticism, or it is bad and he'll be sacked and judged nine ways till Sunday to the ruination if his mental health. Which is it?

It's an obvious fob-off but in fairness, there's nothing else they can do. It's a random member of the public complaining about one alleged off-colour remark in a bar, with no evidence provided.

She's clearly happy to regard another fob-off as a victory, so it's win-win for all parties, I suppose.

Mercifully, the fantasy as voiced by the teacher was limited to bending her over the desk. We can all filling the unspoken blanks for what else it may or may not have involved in the teacher's mind. So the sex over the desk may have been consensual, or not.

Read the scenario, it was a former pupil's MOTHER he was talking to. It was a crude stupid jokey pick up line between a rather drunk man (who just happened to be a teacher) and a woman who at some point had a school aged child, which covers an awful lot of women. Is he not allowed a night out because he's a teacher?

I agree it could be a scary situation and I’d certainly be cautious doing it - but OP has not made any reference to feeling unsafe or afraid of him so I assumed he was just a drunk prat rather than a predator.

All your 2nd post on the matter proves is - you clearly thrive when getting attention and will seek it wherever you can

Governors are volunteers they don't have any power to do anything. There's no victory just yet but you are showing the school that you are a problem.

Anyway, that reply is standard form nothingness
You haven't won
You'll soon get the same reply

They won't apologise because that would implicate them

Teacher here. This is what I think should have happened as soon as the school received the complaint.
Headteacher: Brian, do you have a minute? I need a word in my office.
Brian: Er… sorry I literally don’t I have eight periods today and a lunch duty.
Headteacher: Ok, let me just get someone to cover your class for a moment… Right, come in.
[Brian goes into her office]. Do you have any idea what this might be about?
Brian: No.
Headteacher: I received an email from a former parent last night. Let me just read some of it to you… [reads email] Do you recall this incident?
Brian: Er… yes.
Headteacher: Would you say that was conduct becoming of a person in a position of responsibility in the community?
Brian: To be fair, Sophie left the school some time ago.
Headteachers: Even so, would you say that encounter was appropriate?
Brian: I suppose not.
Headteacher: So we are in agreement. Can you draft an apology by 9am tomorrow and send it to my secretary? She can forward it to the parent.
Brian: But…
Headteacher: Please consider this a verbal warning to be more careful in future. You’re lucky it wasn’t a written warning this time.

Or something to that affect. There’s a huge spectrum between doing absolutely nothing and ruining someone’s life.

Anyone who thinks this will end his career is bonkers. The school is not going to risk a charge of unfair dismissal by firing a teacher for an unevidenced, out of hours, off-site verbal incident.

If word goes around the school, there will, sadly, be a few other male teachers thinking 'There but for the grace of God....'.

Ever heard of Chinese whispers and gossip? One minute he’s made an inappropriate comment to an ex pupil’s mum outside of school, the next it’s all over the school yard at pick up that he’s a paedophile who pervs over the kids. That sort of thing happens pretty often! People love it. Just look at the few posts on here claiming he’s a rapist etc!

She isn't even a Parent anymore, seriously no fucks will be given

I’ve been on hundreds of nights out in my life and managed never to comment anything remotely like that to anybody.

Couldn't you even be bothered to Google to check the powers of the board of governors before posting?

This.

The teacher, in the first place, was sleazy and stupid and it is never ok to do this to anyone. Fwiw I think he should have received a warning and all staff issued a reminder that their conduct outside work reflects on them professionally and can affect their workplace's reputation whether they like it or not.

But the OP has basically admitted it's not about this incident, or that she's even upset by it any more. It's all about her need for the school to recognise how very "right" she is, and for their regard of her to match her own extremely high sense of self importance. As she's not even connected to the school any more and never has to see any of the staff again, I'm not sure what else she's getting out of her "persistence" other than the satisfaction of being right?

Exactly. There are posts on here already suggesting he is a rapist and paedophile.

This is an issue of national importance, up there with today's record-breaking temperature (28 degrees), the FA's decision to bar trans women from women's football, and the continuing consequences of the M&S cyber attack.

So here's a suggestion. Let's challenge ourselves to set a new record of our own: a second full thread to match yesterday's. The discussion is genuinely interesting.

OP, if the headteacher response comes back as "the matter has now been dealt with", will that be enough for you?

If people tell lies about other people that's not the fault of a person who has told only the truth, is it? By your logic we should never complain about anyone ever just in case people decide to make false accusations about them?

It's ops word against his all he has to do is deny it. I wouldn't be surprised if he died deny it. Case closed. If op continues with her persistence then the school may have to get a order to keep her away from the school.

You are so right! Poster's ability to make things up and assert them with absolute authority is unreal, quite frightening really.

Well done OP - a lot of the comments on your original thread and this one are bonkers to me! Of course what he said was wildly inappropriate and you’ve done the right thing.

I was going to dismiss your comment in my head there, but then thought jeez you only have to read this very thread to see that even when the facts are actually written down there's folk who mention pedo/schoolgirls and rape.

So yeh I would have handled it myself at the time, I'm a big girl and don't need to get authorities involved over a hugely inappropriate comment when drinking and socialising in a club.

Now had I actually felt unsafe or threatened that's something else, but I certainly wouldn't be on here with an update saying "ner ner" and a smug meme.

Which was nothing to actually be smug about