Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

In fairness she didn’t. She equated what he said with a female teacher saying that. The two are somewhat different though.

He's not done anything illegal he's entitled to a life.

Except cases of professional misconduct have been brought under this clause many times. All in the public domain, feel free to Google.

It hasn't helped that I quoted the wrong bit.

I know this isn't the most important point of all this, but in your original post you said he said something about bending you over a desk (eww), not about sitting on his face (double eww). Why the different accounts? Not goading, genuinely curious.

You really really don't like Teachers (or Governors) for some reason.
Why on earth do you think that a Teacher would have to prove they DIDN'T say something
Have you any idea what would happen to schools if Teachers had to prove they hadn't said things?

It doesn’t. It suggests he fancies an adult woman and he (rightly) didn’t express that in his professional capacity as her child’s teacher, he expressed it in a bar, albeit inappropriately, years later after her child had no connection to him, and after several drinks. It suggested a lack of judgement under the influence of alcohol, which can affect us all.

It’s quite normal for people to fancy other people, no matter where they might meet them. Plenty of school parents fancy teachers, or people they met due to their own jobs.

Of course it's normal to fancy people, no one has said otherwise. I just disagree that it's normal to express it as such even taking the teaching element out. I can drink & not make sexually explicit comments or display a lack of judgement because I'm an adult. If alcohol makes you behave inappropriately it's important to know your limits....

Did she want to be told this?

Actually, this is irrelvant. He was out of order.

He never said that was when he was fantasising about her at that moment ffs

I've been following this thread since yesterday and I can't help but remember an incident many years ago. A male friend of mine met a young woman on a night out. She approached him and after a brief flirty chat she asked if they could go back to his. They went to his place and she said some pretty crass stuff. She asked him to do some unconventional sexual stuff, some he went along with and some he didn't want to do. Personally I thought she sounded disgusting. She slept the night and left in the morning without a wash in the same clothes. He told me she was a primary school teacher teaching 5 or 6 yr olds and he got the impression she did this a lot. So I guess my question is, should she have been reported? If for example he had turned her down? It was different in that they didn't know each other before but in many ways it's a similar scenario. I'm wondering if the teacher code of behaviour that many mention would apply to this woman too, it can't just be a male teacher standard.

So....they can't go round an ex's house and smash up their car. They can't get handsy with a TA and think it's OK, they can't get verbally offensive with customer services at Tesco's, they can't have an OnlyFans.

Well, most of those things are illegal so no-one should be doing them...

This isn’t how the world works. Surely you know this? It’s very difficult, often impossible, to prove a negative. If people had to prove they didn’t do something, they would be getting accused of all sorts based on hearsay!

No he wouldn’t. Burden of proof would be on OP.

Yes, thank you for asking this, I wonder if the man said more than was in the original post?

What would you like to happen, @SophEll ?
Would you like him sacked?

Massive stretch

Papers wouldn't run this kind of "he said she said", no way.

How is bending someone over a rape fantasy. It's a perfectly normal sexual position that pretty much all adults do. nothing at all to do with rape.

Its only public domain once it gets to a certain point, there is no guarantee that this would get that far.

I think she would like him to walk naked through the playground while Parents throw mud at him and women in robes shout "shame" and ring bells

No not rapey,

Wildly inappropriate fantasy yes, but please don't suggest it's in anyway the same as being raped.

I’m sure they have. Were any for dodgy chat up lines made to women who have no current connection to the teacher’s school?

Originally she wanted the school to be forced to admit that it hadn't followed its polices about her complaints about a pervy teacher.

Strange how that has gone out the window.

Yeh I was wondering this too.

It's quite a common fantasy for both men and women

(So I'm told🤣)

They won't do anything and then the op will get sued for harassment by the teacher. For trying to end his career over one cheesy remark. Op will have to prove that he said it. TRA would most probably look at as a malicious complaint. They must get a lot of malicious emails from all sorts of people.