Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

Well earlier you referred to me as "women like me" although you haven't replied when I was polite enough to answer you with lived experience a couple of pages later.

Your go to appears to be implying that we are defending this "poor man" which is spinning wildly what some folk are actually doing.

You haven't quite resorted to the vile posts that were removed so thank you for that.

Genuinely shocked at the swathes of women defending a man’s right to be sexually aggressive. Fuck that. He works with children. He has to be mindful of how he conducts himself when not at school. He cannot be verbally sexually aggressive to a school parent. Surely that’s fucking basic?

The fuck is wrong with some people on here?

Nobody is going to inestigate trust me as a School Governor

OP, you are enjoying this too much I think.
Yes, it was an inappropriate comment, but a comment made whilst too much alcohol had been consumed. The man probably does not even remember what he said and I am sure this behaviour whilst on a night out is in no way a reflection of the way he behaves in school as a teacher.
Seems to be a witch hunt going on to me.

Always fine if it’s the man who’s drunk isn’t it

it was (as someone described well above) a sexually aggressive statement

They're not paid well enough for what they do, frankly.

If the insane teacher stalker posse keep making comments like this, we'll have no teachers.

Exactly OUTSIDE school, MUTUAL RESPECT.

People seem to think it's OK to ignore these, or are oblivious to their existence.

Folks, hold men, particularly teachers, to the standards under which they are employed.

FWiW, teachers do have a lot of standards to uphold, including clean DBS.

As a comparison, the police only decided to introduce background checks and standards of conduct AFTER Sarah Everard!

That is a standard reply to any complaint. If you had complained that the headteacher had a horrible hair do you would have got the same response so not sure why you feel vindicated. You sound a bit unhinged to be making such an incident out of one drunk blokes comment in a night club!

I’ve seen the term witch hunt used a few times - I’d respectfully disagree. The school has a complaints procedure - I followed it, they ignored it, so I took the advice of a poster yesterday and contact the Chair of Governors.

However, if I’d told multiple people, posted on social media, wrote to the paper, turned up outside the school making a fuss - then I think the term witch hunt may be appropriate.

I think I’ve approached it in a grown up and responsible manner.

This thread where he's been called a rapist and a peado because people can't read?

Yep it totally demonstrates that people will be reasonable if it gets out

It isn't legislation so bin your thoughts of suing. It's a Code of Conduct. Very different. The courts are months behind as it is. If this were legislation, most people would have died before their day in court came round.

Edited for typo

Where’s the line? Saying it to a colleague? A current parent? A former pupil? A current pupil?

Yes, those are all the line

You can think any old bullshit you want but you don't get to SAY whatever you want.

Your son's teacher comes up to you three years after he left school.

"I always thought he was a little shit, and thick. Thought he must have a bitch of a mother to end up like that"

Is that OK? Or is graphic sexual harassment not as bad?

He's allowed to think it. But I seriously fucking doubt you'd be happy with him just expressing his thoughts to you. You'd be on the phone the next day.

I used to be a Chair of Governors OP and that is a very standard response.

"Yeah, we'll look into it but we can't tell you anything about the outcome".

I'd be very surprised if they bother I'm afraid.

Exactly. It just takes one person to discuss it before it turns into something bigger through Chinese whispers and before you know it, people will be saying he is a paedophile. Career and life over just like that.

If you have that attitude, then just remember OP can make a formal complaint. If they are fobbed off by someone like you, their distress minimised etc which is DESPICABLE by the way (and anyway, just to let people know, a school governor merely has to get voted in, they do not have to uphold any standards and they can "govern" how they please), OP can document a of this and go straight to the Teaching Regulation Agency.

The TRA, people on here following this, is INDEPENDENT of any school, governor, academy,academy CEO etc.

So if you feel fobbed off and don't know what to do, collect evidence of ALL communication, then if you're still not happy, go to the TRA.

School governor, please stol bandying around titles as if this gives you some privileged authority. You only got the position because the demographic of your school liked you better than another parent/teacher/community leader. Your opinion is your opinion, it is not fact.

I disagree. I think that doctors, nurses, teachers, anyone who works with a vulnerable group should be held to higher standard. I’m a hospital consultant and more than happy to be held to higher standards.

They’d be very silly not to bother, believe me!

Then the OP is within their right to take "CBA" to the Teaching Regulation Agency.

Not being arsed is a legitimite choice.

No, I would tell him to go to hell and I wouldn’t think about it again , I certainly wouldn’t be ringing someone’s boss about it

I'd be very surprised if they did bother.

Although I have no doubt you'll be back with a different thread to tell us all they did.

Herneighbourtototo;

Teachers Standards. You must have heard of them surely, if you're a teacher?

Just asking, as you are MEANT TO BE UPHOLDING THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY...

...so, let's have another rethink...are you actually a teacher? Or a wannabe?

I find some of the replies on this thread absolutely remarkable.
This teacher has broken the teaching standards in my opinion. I am a teacher and would be repulsed by a colleague who said this. I'm sorry that happened to you op.

How will you know if they bothered or not? They come back to you next week and say they’ve investigated thoroughly and disciplined the teacher. You have. I clue whether that means - ‘we read your letters and decided you were a drama queen so have done nothing’ or ‘we spoke to the teacher and have docked his pay and removed his last promotion’. Or anything else.

Time and time again, we see more concern being given to a man and his career, than the women he harasses and makes feel uncomfortable. Depressing. We see with celebrities, the media and we see it at a local level like here.