Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

Completely different scenarios as that would be your GP who you have a professional relationship with. This woman has nothing at all to do with the school or the teacher.

Wow, I can’t believe in 2025 there are still so many women falling over themselves to make excuses for shitty men unless they’re all married to porn addicted males? 😳

It’s thoroughly depressing. 😩

Continue op teachers have rights to and this could end badly for you.

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/feb/16/secondary-school-teacher-paid-damages-after-alleged-harassment-by-pupils-parents

https://schoolsweek.co.uk/cease-and-desist-trust-supports-staff-to-sue-online-trolls

She sounds charming, but that’s a totally different scenario, isn’t it? Did she go up to a parent of a child she taught and tell him how she wishes she had sat on his face at parents evening?

I can pretty much guarantee he didn’t fantasise over her at parents evensong. Nothing less sexy than parents evening when you are exhausted, harried and would rather be getting your marking done. It was 100% made up because he thought it made a good chat up line. He was wrong, obvs. It’s grim. But that will be what happened.

I have, I can find no figures at all on the numbers of female teachers who've had sex with underage students. If you have I'd be interested to see them.

Is this the mumsnet equivalent of shaking and crying behind the settee when your doorbell rings unexpectedly?

I think so

One drunken comment doesn't make you a shitty male that deserves to be dragged through the mud over it and potentially have his life and career ruined as a result. You can't tell me nobody on here had said something silly they regret when they've had a drink or two.

Nobody has made excuses for him. Everyone has said he was crass and is a bit of a dick. They also, alongside that, think the OP’s way of dealing with him is unreasonable.

That’s not what you said happened - or even a female equivalent of what you said happened. Are you making things up now?

What are you talking about?

I don't remember a woman on here thinking his chat up line was a good one or would have worked for us.

But there is a hook up scene in bars/nightclubs. And both men and women instigate those hook ups.

I agree - he was trying to 50-shades-grey her and missed by a mile.

Maybe it's worked in the past for other women because it was a surprisingly bold first line.

Absolutely not rapey and offensive to dangerous to suggest it is

Grim, isn’t it. Certainly been an eye opener for me - thankfully I’ve a circle of friends who have standards and have no issue in holding inappropriate men (and any company’s which enable them) to account.

Everyone here says he should have been held to account. By you, at the time.

She said further up she’s retired. She clearly needs to find something to occupy her time.

Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Oh you sweet summer child.

Classic mumsnet.

So now we're all bad feminists because we can tell the difference between a clumsy chat up attempt and a dangerous budding rapist of schoolgirls?

It's 4pm now heard anything yet. I can envisage it now the headteacher rolling her eyes at your complaint. You're not that important.

She really does. Allowing an off the cuff comment that was clearly meant as an attempt at a chat up line to consume her to this extent is not healthy or normal. Maybe she should try one of these niche hobbies that people on here seem to have that they can't talk about because it is too identifying, because waging a hate campaign against someone isn't my idea of a hobby or a productive use of anyone's time.

Of course it isn't. Don't be silly. You might think the OP shouldn't have complained, but there's no need to try and belittle complaining about a man's behaviour as something weak and feeble. The OP isn't cowering in fear of him, she's made a complaint, and owned it.

Oh you are funny!🤣

YOU don't hold them to account at all.

I could not believe the comments from women on the last thread. I couldn’t respond there because the thread was full.

You did absolutely the right thing. I am a hospital consultant and there are certain standards of behaviour expected. If one of my male consultant colleagues behaved like this in public, it should absolutely be fed back to the employer and his behaviour looked at, with the very least a serious discussion had.

This teacher’s behaviour was disgusting. I cannot believe some people brush this off as banter or normal. There are women on MN whose bar is so so very low.

People in careers where they’re dealing with vulnerable people need to have high standards of behaviour in public too.