Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Update

[SophEll]

I have debated whether to post this update but I promised I would in the previous thread (www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5325717-disgusted-by-schools-response-to-complaint-about-pervy-teacher) and I’m someone who keeps their word.

I have had an acknowledgment of my email to the Chair of Governors who assures me they will ensure my previous correspondence with the school will be personally overseen by the Headteacher as opposed to the senior member of staff who replied previously.

The Governor has understandably explained that the school cannot share the details of any internal disciplinary action, but has assured me the head teacher will provide me with a further response in due course, and asked me to provide my contact number. I’ve also confirmed that should it be required, my friend would be happy to provide her account of the evening’s events.

This proves that the school previously dismissing this without investigation was inappropriate, so I must say I’m feeling rather smug right now at this vindication. Given their prompt response, the Governor clearly recognises the reputational impact something like this could have on the school.

Thanks to all those who provided suggestions on how best to proceed (including those who said I should have laughed it off, been flattered etc) - I’ll endeavour to provide a further update once the headteacher concludes their investigation. An impressively prompt response by the Chair - the joys of retirement I guess!

There’s only one ‘absurd’ person here, and that’s you. Get a life 🤣🤣

Enough people have pointed out that the poster was wrong, it has been quoted multiple times on every page since. I wouldn’t give it any more attention as everyone knows it’s BS.

There is going to be less teachers if this goes the way that SophEll wants it to go.

Presumably you want all teachers to not get drunk, keep their thoughts to themselves so they never ever say anything inappropriate in their lives

Are you going to go after Greg Davies next for all the inappropriate things he did and said when he was a teacher

Utterly utterly ridiculous

I hope your children have thick skin for when the story gets round that their mother waged a campaign to get a teacher fired. Reputational damage goes both ways.

Oh for fuck sake

What you've gone through, do get over yourself. 99.9 percent agree that he was a dick and what he said was sleezy.

You were angry and gobsmacked in a club where everyone was drinking and yes he was a dick. Have you not got enough about you to deal with it at the time?

It was more than one poster... and that's how this stuff starts.

Well I'm closer to your age than OPs and I agree with her. Probably because when I was a young woman I did 'deal with this male nonsense at the time', the smart put down, the walking away, the not making a fuss because I wouldn't want a man to get into trouble just because he was attracted to me and had lost the run of himself when drunk, or some other nonsense. And given here we are, 30 years on, and the 'male nonsense' is as bad as ever, it probably wasnt the most effective strategy. If its a generational thing, then good on young women. The more seriously its taken the greater the chance we won't be here in another 30 years discussing strategies to deal with male nonsense.

"witch hunt"

Fucking hell would people really be ok with this guy teaching their daughters? He's a rapey misogynist who has spoken about his inappropriate fantasies at work. I hope he does get in trouble, though I doubt he will.

I think @SophEll was right to raise this with the school to be honest, and the school were wrong to just brush is off.
For all we know - this man has been inappropriate to multiple women all over town... if the school were to get multiple complaints from different women that would indicate a pattern of behaviour that none of us would want in a school teacher.

You were right to raise this OP - but now you just need to let things play out - dont be smug about it. Unfortunately thats not helping you come across well on this forum.

Just read the original thread.

People are absolutely right to be calling the op a vindictive busybody, the governors are also right to have clearly fobbed her off.

She in her own words was slighted by the school - that is what she has gone through not the initial event.

none of this has anything to do with that anymore

Vipers early drinking club!

I really don't care if there are fewer perverts in schools. No.

And of you really think men can't be trusted to behave outside of school when referring to their work place you have a very low opinion of men. Or maybe we just need fewer male teachers.

Most secondary schools expect exemplary behavior from students while off school grounds if they're wearing uniform. Because it's bringing the school into disrepute. But we're ok with everyone knowing that Mr Perv wants to bang your mum over the desk.

Women are just as bad today. Good on them for taking a step forward rather than waiting to be chatted up. I don't think a lot of young women would agree with you.

He has to admit his wrongdoing, which he won't do.
It will be your word against his.
Based on your correspondence they might assume that you are causing trouble.

This is such a fascinating thread. I would have thought in Mumsnet of all places women would be slightly more resistant to the internalised misogyny but apparently not! Accusing you of being smug, being known as 'that woman', accusations of 'ruining someone's life"...it's literally like a r*pe culture bingo card in these replies.

Good on you OP. He's a teacher and has behavioural standards to uphold. It wasn't OK what he said or did and it is directly relevant to his role because he made it relevant!! He literally brought it up. If he doesn't want the consequences, don't do shit like this. I wouldn't think he'd get serious consequences but hopefully a serious talking to might give him a bit of a shock.

I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. Young women are 'just as bad' yet 'good on them'? For what?

I hardly think not getting the response she thinks she deserves from the school counts as ‘going through’ something, not unless she had the teacher banged to rights and it was a months long ordeal to get the correct outcome. This isn’t that!

When students are not wearing school uniform the school doesn't give a fuck what they do in their spare time. The same goes for teachers it's not a safeguarding issue they won't be interested.

Watch Geordie Shore the poor bloke was drunk and she was trying to ride him. The question is can women rape?

Did you ask the bar to supply the cctv

He hasn't said it to them

Newsflash humans have sexual thoughts about others

Whether or not I'd be ok with him teaching my daughters would depend on whether or not he's a good teacher. Not his shit drunken chat.

Saying he's rapey is so unbelievably offensive to people who have suffered actual rape that I'm surprised you allowed yourself to post it.

Well if we're being pedantic, that really isn't what the question is, is it? The question is should OP have complained to the school about the teachers comment. If you want to discuss 'can women rape' you'd need to start your own thread to ask that. (Spoiler: Under uk law, no, they can't as it requires a penis.)

Wow I just can’t believe some of the misogynistic comments, I presume from women, on this thread. Drunk or not what the teacher did was vile and anyone like that should not be in teaching. I was a secondary teacher for over 30 years and I can certainly say that any complaint like this would have been taken very seriously by the SMT. It certainly sounds like, in this case, the school are closing ranks and don’t want the complaint to be made public.