Said something really shitty at work and now scared

[Tdhggd]

Please be kind, I’m not in the right frame of mind. I was chatting to a colleague today and usually it’s just casual low key topics like our kids, weekends etc. nothing too political. He’s a religious guy who goes to church, I’m not from a religious background at all but have recently felt there’s something missing and would like to visit a few religious places. I asked his advice and I told him I’ll be open to visiting as many places as I can apart from one (I won’t say which ones content to cause a meltdown). In my head it was just a throwaway comment I don’t really even think I meant it in truth it’s just something that came out. I’m worried now incase he mentions it to someone. It’s a very diverse workplace. Truthfully I have nothing against this religion but in my head I was trying to say I wouldn’t go as I don’t think I’d even be allowed to enter as they very strict. I don’t care what people think of me but I don’t want to hurt some of the people I consider my friends, I don’t want them to hear this and think I’m racism riwards them. I feel like such an idiot saying this and obviously will be more articulate in my explanation. How likely is it he will tell others?

@Tripleblue I don't read her post as defending any men. Simply pointing out that non-religious men can be just as bad.

OP look if you are in the UK then we have the Equality Act which means we can’t harass or discriminate against people for different reasons and religion is one. Nothing you said even goes that close by the sounds of it, you are allowed your opinions so please don’t worry!

Just zip it, you fool. If anyone needs educating, it's absolutely you. Are you denying that many men are leery? Do you think Western men are pious and respectful of women? All the porn they watch, all the casual hook-ups, the paying for Only Fans content, strippers and prostitutes...yeah, that's what women REALLY want from men, lol. But God forbid giving women their own gyms and beaches where men won't oggle them. How oppressive is THAT...

That literally doesn't happen, lol. Do you live under a rock, or something?

That is your choice, however in the future I would keep those types of conversations between very close friends.
No religious or political views.

How many men in society are to use your words 'locked up' for rape and sexual assault? That aren't part of this unnamed religion?

Also for community I would definitely second joining scouts or guides as a leader and signing your DC up (not necessarily in the same group, I'd pick the age group you enjoy most and aim to do it as a longer term thing for yourself).

Well you should avoid all religions and enrol your kids in Scouts Brownies Girl Guides etc instead!

Do you think in Islamic societies, women get much say at all in what they are graciously "given" by the men that run every aspect of these societies?

@Arancia while I agree with you wrt your comment about Muslim women having their own spaces away from men (which is a good thing) I wanted to comment on this

Do you think Western men are pious and respectful of women? All the porn they watch, all the casual hook-ups, the paying for Only Fans content, strippers and prostitutes.

Western men definitely do all the above but many Arab/Muslim men too. I have Muslim family and on my paternal side and I used to live in Egypt and they're a pretty sleazy pornsick lot.
Now, that's the culture, not the religion as Islam forbids all of those things. But many many of them also use porn, prostitutes and casually hook-up if they get the chance.

What nonsense. Laughable and downright untrue.

don’t need to be talked down to like I’m stupid about dressing modestly I think I know how to dress in different places at my age

Sorry, but I think people will have been replying to your posts like "I wouldn't even know how to cover my hair"
So it does sound like you wouldn't even know how to dress in different places at your age.
I could be wrong, but I think as long as you cover up and dress modestly that would be ok in mosque?
I'm not Muslim but I have heard of some being open and welcome to all especially around Eid, I think one fairly local one had an open community Iftar (evening meal breaking the fast) which I thought was a lovely idea.
It does sound like from your posts that you have your own ideas about it all though so hope I'm not wasting my time.
If you're wanting a community, sounds like you'd be best at church, as you say lots of toddler groups /activities etc at them if that's what you looking for.

Have you travelled much? Do you have much interaction with men from different backgrounds to base your assertions on? I have, and believe me it's not only western men who are ' leery' and ' porn obsessed'. I had a lovely experience in a bar in Morocco where local prostitutes were paraded around in front of wealthy Arabs to take their ' pick '. According to You that wouldn't happen as their religion should naturally make the men more pious, holier, immune to immorality. You can't target one particular group of males for being as such, whilst totally ignoring the fact that some men from ALL backgrounds/ faith/ nationality indulge in the same vile behaviour. That would be biased and discriminatory, with a nice dollop of bigotry thrown in for good measure.

That's really interesting to know about Hindu temples and menstruating women, I didn't know that so thanks for the info (genuinely)

Women are also banned from entering mosques while menstruating

I believe that many younger Hindu women (and perhaps some older women/Hindu men?!) oppose the ban on entering temples when they are menstruating. Some ignore it and some have launched legal challenges etc.

Nobody checks so you can do what you want.

Well, exactly.

As a non-Hindu, I would probably respect the traditional rules if I was visiting, but if Hindu women want to challenge this stuff, all power to them!

Western men definitely do all the above but many Arab/Muslim men too. I have Muslim family and on my paternal side and I used to live in Egypt and they're a pretty sleazy pornsick lot.
Now, that's the culture, not the religion as Islam forbids all of those things. But many many of them also use porn, prostitutes and casually hook-up if they get the chance.

Of course they do, anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool "namalt" obviously, however it has nothing to do with religion, it is the culture of entitlement, sexual desires and access to depraved levels of porn that a lot of men enjoy from all areas of life.
As usual NAM, not my DH/brother/son/uncle/nephew. 🙄

Wow, some super rude people. Why is it ok to be rude on a thread if it is not ok in real life?

I should clarify I mean rude to the OP specifically.

This.

I find it interesting that the words 'women are given' were used instead of the more accurate words 'women are banned'.

And this perfectly describes why the OP shouldn’t go there.

Your religion isn’t about forgiveness love and understanding I take it?

I have not rad the whole thread, but I will say this. If you are not religious and have no desire to be, trying to find "community" and FREE things for your kids to do, should not be placed on the doorstep of any church. Find community and things to do that have a connection to something you DO want to be a part of. The library, scouts, sports, a volunteer group, a school.