Said something really shitty at work and now scared

[Tdhggd]

Please be kind, I’m not in the right frame of mind. I was chatting to a colleague today and usually it’s just casual low key topics like our kids, weekends etc. nothing too political. He’s a religious guy who goes to church, I’m not from a religious background at all but have recently felt there’s something missing and would like to visit a few religious places. I asked his advice and I told him I’ll be open to visiting as many places as I can apart from one (I won’t say which ones content to cause a meltdown). In my head it was just a throwaway comment I don’t really even think I meant it in truth it’s just something that came out. I’m worried now incase he mentions it to someone. It’s a very diverse workplace. Truthfully I have nothing against this religion but in my head I was trying to say I wouldn’t go as I don’t think I’d even be allowed to enter as they very strict. I don’t care what people think of me but I don’t want to hurt some of the people I consider my friends, I don’t want them to hear this and think I’m racism riwards them. I feel like such an idiot saying this and obviously will be more articulate in my explanation. How likely is it he will tell others?

Yeah the part about how women are treated by men was a stupid generalisation and I think I would probably report you. While you may think you’re not racist, you clearly are prejudiced and ill informed. God knows what you say out of the work place.

You don't need to know.

You will be welcomed into a mosque. Other places of worship will be less welcoming. I’m thinking specifically about the Church of England and the Catholic Church.

@JustBeenSleeping you haven’t answered my question - how welcome would I be there if I have no intention of praying or getting involved with the religion? I want a community not be one religious. How welcoming will they be to me?

@JustBeenSleeping nah, I think that’s a bit of a stretch actually. If she wants to try out different places of worship but doesn’t fancy one of them it is absolutely perfectly fine and does not make her racist, discriminatory or anything like that. A certain one might just not appeal to her and that is still absolutely Ok. People are allowed opinion, choice and free will without being bigots.

@Crayola23 thats not true we went to a Xmas table top sale in a Church of England and they were very friendly and welcoming. They you’d me they do toddler soft play too but I didn’t get a chance to attend

Rather than trying to deflect, why don’t you tell us why you believe you wouldn’t be welcome? 😒

Yes, just email them. You'd be most welcome and I'm sure they'd be happy to show your family around and answer any questions.

@MumWifeOther not dectingvst all! I’m having a conversation well for starters I don’t cover my head and wouldn’t know how to, I drink alcohol, I’ve never attended one most importantly. I’ve never just got a flyer though the door telling me of any events I’m welcome to attend compared to other places of worship!

You might want to consider the Quakers or a Methodist/Baptist church. If you don’t know your way around a service, avoid the Church of England or Catholic Church. Just visit some different places of worship and get a feel for them.

That sounds like a nice church, you could go back there.

I’m not deflecting and obviously this would happen so won’t don’t people tell me what family events for non-Muslims can I attend with my kids? That’s in reality what I’m looking for truthfully I have no desire to become religious

Try to put it out of your mind OP. Honestly people are allowed to have their own opinions about religion. Obviously some will appeal more than others for all sorts of reasons. I wouldn't be interested in attending a mosque either for a number of reasons, none of which I feel the need to explain. The person you spoke to probably feels the same way about some religions.

If you are genuinely worried that somebody will shout racist, just say what you said was misinterpreted. End of.

I felt fake going back as I have no desire to bring my children up as Christian’s! I just wanted them to experience the local events and community and they all seemed so lovely I might go back

Non-issue. But what happened to the good old 'don't discuss money, politics or religion'? Why are we so quick to dump good old, safe rules? Why?

You can’t believe these words came out of you? Do you think they just fell out?

I'm not Muslim, but I have visited a couple of mosques and found them very welcoming. Like most religious communities in my experience.

My personal favourites are the Sikh gurdwaras - the free meals and all-welcome attitude is amazing!

If you're not actually interested in religion, though, aren't there any other ways of finding a sense of community?

I don't think anyone would expect you to go to the mosque and start praying 😂 Equally, I would hope that you would be respectful enough to dress modestly. Your ignorance and contempt is really showing, despite you trying to conceal it. If you're really open to going then get in touch with your local mosque and arrange it. You seem to be overthinking it all.

Why are you asking a Mumsnetter?

For a start not all mosques are the same.

Just email them and ask.

Truthfully nothing about the mosque interests me so why should I pretend it does? Neither does the Catholic Church. My kids can make up their own minds. The more I’m writing the more I’m realising what I meant. You don’t have to be a bigot to not want to or feel comfortable taking your kids to! That’s ridiculous! Thank you your comment has made me realise that. Yes I shouldn’t have said it but cone off it how many Muslims would readily take their kids to church or a Hindu temple?

"Hey look I'm not bashing this religion I won't name that has a mosque as it's place of worship but man how bad is that religion making me unwelcome as a woman despite never talking to them!"

I'm sure your made up conversation with your colleague won't have any long term consequences 🙄

I’m not getting involved in people’s agendas. I’ve had some good tips on here and yes I will take my kids to places I feel will welcome us. I don’t need to be talked down to like I’m stupid about dressing modestly I think I know how to dress in different places at my age! Thank you to those who for the non judgemental advice. Good night x

The more you speak the more obvious it is… you should really probably just keep your mouth shut, especially at work 👍🏽

You're right in that you're making this up as you go along that's for sure

That’s OK, as long as your children feel part of a community and have fun they’ll be happy.