Husband’s compulsion to constantly touch me

[HairyPeachy]

I’ve posted about my husband before and how he constantly wants to touch me no matter what I’m doing. He’s recently developed a strange fixation with my arms. If he’s walking by he will smooth them or has to touch them. Literally no matter what I am doing. Cooking, cleaning, washing up, holding a kettle! He will come up and say that he’s got to touch them, smooth them etc. it’s constant and driving me crazy!

I’ve told him to stop and he says he can’t help it, he loves my arms which is nice obviously but he won’t stop and it’s making me cringe!

Even our teen says - Dad stop! She doesn’t like it and he storms off in a huff saying that he isn’t allowed to touch his own wife etc. Our teen even mentions consent and boundaries etc.

He gropes too…boobs, bum and worse…likes to come up behind me when I’m washing up like we are in some bloody rom com. The arm thing though is weird, he just won’t stop and I can’t stand his touch anymore. It’s weird right?! He won’t leave them alone!

Why are you allowing your son to be treated this way? And to see inappropriate behaviour? You have a responsibility to protect and prioritise him. Get your husband to move out for a trial separation (hopefully one that'll become permanent!)

OK, just read your other posts.

Stop being so passive. ‘Making excuses’ and ‘running away’ are not enough. If you won’t leave him - which you bloody should, he’s a vile abusive creep - you at least need to set an example to your kids and stand up for yourself.

Posting repeatedly with this “Oh, silly DH and his touching, I suppose it’s nice that he fancies me but what is he like” stuff and then ignoring all advice is a waste of your time. What the fuck else can people say? You’re married to a horrible man who doesn’t respect you, gropes you in front of his teenage kids who are clearly disturbed by it, and he’s aggressive and volatile towards your son. Frankly, I suspect your kids really dislike him. Do something about it or don’t, but just moaning on here over and over again is a waste of time.

And why haven’t you told him to leave?

It was horrible right? The way he spoke to DS? I’ve called him out before but he says stuff like DS can do no wrong in my eyes, he could murder someone and I would stick up for him etc. He sees no issue with how he speaks to him, yes DS shouldn’t have called H a name but there’s ways of correcting without resorting to verbal abuse and saying fuck you to your own child. He knew DS weakness with how he was nervous in his room and I feel like he played on it. It felt very cruel.

If you won’t leave for yourself will you at least consider it for your children? Because right now you’re teaching them that consent doesn’t matter, someone’s boundaries are there to be crossed and abusive behaviour should be tolerated.

Well she says that she has posted about this before in the first post. so I'm guessing you are correct.

I’ll be asking for a separation soon, I know WW3 will break out when I do!

It won’t be long now, I might be able to leave in a few weeks if not next month.

No. Don't bother "asking" for a separation.

Put your plans in place to leave with the DC and then do it. He doesn't get a say and you should in no way ask for his agreement on the plan. It's time for you to do the right thing for your children and yourself.

Call Women's Aid if you need help putting together a plan.

Our responses are the same as last time @HairyPeachy . He’s vile.

This is the last of your threads that I remember. It is absolutely chilling.

Thank you. All the paperwork has gone through for a lovely little property, the house is beautiful and honestly heaven sent, absolutely everything I have dreamed of to start again and live in peace with my children. I am hoping and praying every day that I get it. It’s not in our locality, it’s 3 miles away which isn’t too far for schools etc. I just know that he’s going to be angrier than I’ve ever seen him. I just know he will absolutely hate my guts for leaving him.

You need support when you tell him - have people with you. Preferably your largest and most intimidating friends or family.

@HairyPeachy but he brought it in himself. He knows you don’t like the touching or his parenting. His attitude or anger. Yet he carried on. Why would any one stay? Just think how happy and peaceful life will be long term for the kids in your new home with a fresh start.

@HairyPeachy I don't think the arm thing is weird as many women do have nice soft arms and hands.

Not justifying his behaviour by the way, just explaining.

This is to show ownership - so non-romantic, frankly, disgusting.

Why are you still with him?

What is keeping you there?

God just reading this thread, I can’t wait for you to leave this twat!

Yep, me too

I am so relieved to hear you have plans to leave. Good luck, OP. This is the start of a much better life.

I thought Purple Aki was dead!

Your husband sounds v odd..giving me horror film vibes! Please stans your ground. If he still won't respect you, I do think you should LTB & I don't use this often.

Yes the exact post, word for word, was posted in the past 12 months or so.

There was also this version in Jan https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5256782-dh-wont-stop-touching-me

LTB

I’ve just read the linked previous thread
This is a word for word copy