AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

SunnyLuny · 2025-04-30T16:28:26+00:00

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden. Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

Spirallingdownwards · 30/04/2025 17:33

.... the only thing that has changed is you got a cat, a cat which is presumably crapping in her garden.

She knows there is nothing you can do other than keep your outside cat inside to stop the cat crapping there so she has taken some action at her own cost rather than bothering you or putting you to the expense of preventing your cat from using her garden as it's personal litter tray.

What even is there to say other than sorry our cat was bothering you. Would you like me to reimburse you for those spikes?

jeaux90 · 30/04/2025 17:34

It’s the cat. You should cat proof your garden.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 30/04/2025 17:35

If she had approached you and said - Your cat is shitting in my garden, please stop it from doing so - what would you have said and, crucially, done about it?

sonjadog · 30/04/2025 17:35

What are you going to say? They are obviously because of the cat. You can't tell the cat to stop doing it, so finding a way to stop it happening is the only solution here. Are you thinking that you could offer to pay for the spikes or what?

CaptainFuture · 30/04/2025 17:35

Is the fence hers? Why should she need to consult you? Did you consult her before you got the cat?

Zimunya · 30/04/2025 17:36

Spirallingdownwards · 30/04/2025 17:33

.... the only thing that has changed is you got a cat, a cat which is presumably crapping in her garden.

She knows there is nothing you can do other than keep your outside cat inside to stop the cat crapping there so she has taken some action at her own cost rather than bothering you or putting you to the expense of preventing your cat from using her garden as it's personal litter tray.

What even is there to say other than sorry our cat was bothering you. Would you like me to reimburse you for those spikes?

Agree with @Spirallingdownwards , and I say this as a cat owner myself. She had no obligation to warn you about the spikes, or discuss them with you. It's clear your cat is going into her garden (I appreciate there's little you can do to stop that) and that is bothering her, so she's taken action. Fair enough.

HollidayRanger · 30/04/2025 17:36

Why do you need to ask her waht's going on? It's clear what is going on. Loads and loads of people hate cats shitting in their gardens.

rubyslippers · 30/04/2025 17:36

Presumably she is sick of your cat pooing in her garden!

LifeExperience · 30/04/2025 17:36

She has every right to take steps to keep your cat out of her garden. YABU.

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:39

It’s the fact it’s out of nowhere. She’s never mentioned having an issue with the cat - yes if she said something I wouldn’t tried to prevent it by cat proofing or even keeping him indoors. She’s literally not even given us eye contact for 3 years. I think it’s rude to put spikes on my fence with no warning at all. If she had a conversation with me to say the cat is bothering me can we do something about it of course I would have cooperated!

OP posts:

GeorgianaM · 30/04/2025 17:40

She is protecting her garden from your cat shitting in it.

What's wrong with that?

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 30/04/2025 17:40

I absolutely and utterly DETEST cats shitting in my garden. I understand there is nothing I can do about it. I understand i have to "let them"......but fuck me it really really annoys me

The arrogance. The entitled ness.

If i had the energy I'd put spikes on my fence too

Go neighbour, go!

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:41

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:39

It’s the fact it’s out of nowhere. She’s never mentioned having an issue with the cat - yes if she said something I wouldn’t tried to prevent it by cat proofing or even keeping him indoors. She’s literally not even given us eye contact for 3 years. I think it’s rude to put spikes on my fence with no warning at all. If she had a conversation with me to say the cat is bothering me can we do something about it of course I would have cooperated!

*would have

OP posts:

WhereAreTheWildThingsNow · 30/04/2025 17:42

You are totally in the wrong here. My neighbours cat shits in our cat free garden and kills the birds that my husband loves to watch. I hate it but I love our neighbour of 20+ years so I live with it.

That you identify the issue and am not prepared to do anything about it is obvious. Your neighbour is just trying to protect her space.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 30/04/2025 17:42

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:39

It’s the fact it’s out of nowhere. She’s never mentioned having an issue with the cat - yes if she said something I wouldn’t tried to prevent it by cat proofing or even keeping him indoors. She’s literally not even given us eye contact for 3 years. I think it’s rude to put spikes on my fence with no warning at all. If she had a conversation with me to say the cat is bothering me can we do something about it of course I would have cooperated!

Can she put spikes on YOUR fence?

I expect she doesn't like confrontation (as she sees it)

Liverpool52 · 30/04/2025 17:42

So knowing your cat probably goes into her garden, did you have a conversation with her to suggest ways you could prevent that or offer to pick up the car shit from her garden?

thehorsesareallidiots · 30/04/2025 17:43

She has told you now. Albeit not in words. So what are you going to do about it?

InfoSecInTheCity · 30/04/2025 17:43

Did you speak with her before you decided to get a cat and give it free roam of her property? Did yo7 ask her if she would be unhappy about the idea of your pet shitting in her garden and potentially killing any birds that visit?

You’re upset that she’s put a few spikes up, but don’t seem to be able to empathise with the fact that you’ve imposed a disgusting clean up job on her because of your desire for a pet.

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:43

Alright fair enough, personally I would have warned my neighbour before putting SPIKES onto a shared fence but clearly I’m in the minority 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

afromom · 30/04/2025 17:43

Did you consult her before purchasing a cat and allowing it to roam and poo in her garden? I expect not. She is therefore returning the favour by protecting her garden from your cat without consulting you.

Icanttakethisanymore · 30/04/2025 17:43

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:43

Alright fair enough, personally I would have warned my neighbour before putting SPIKES onto a shared fence but clearly I’m in the minority 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would have too.

UndermyShoeJoe · 30/04/2025 17:44

I mean she has a greenhouse so presumably you know she grows at least pretty flowers and likely food. You know cats are likely to shit in her garden. You got a cat. She stopped talking to you. I’m wondering why you hadn’t realised the cat was clearly a problem.

SmoothRoads · 30/04/2025 17:44

Zimunya · 30/04/2025 17:36

Agree with @Spirallingdownwards , and I say this as a cat owner myself. She had no obligation to warn you about the spikes, or discuss them with you. It's clear your cat is going into her garden (I appreciate there's little you can do to stop that) and that is bothering her, so she's taken action. Fair enough.

Show quote history

I agree that she doesn't have to discuss anything. She can do to her garden and her fence whatever she likes.

I do find it weird that she never discussed anything. Surely, it's mark of an adult to tell people if something is bothering you, instead of playing hide-and-seek in the garden, pretending someone suddenly doesn't exist and changing the fence without a heads up. Who does that beyond the age of 12?

AnonKat · 30/04/2025 17:45

I have to indoor cats and i love cats. My garden is like a litter box, it's constant. If you love gardening then cat poo is awful!

I've debated spikes, but i do love my cat visitors.

TomatoSandwiches · 30/04/2025 17:45

I don't think you have any right to be annoyed at all, she can put spikes up if she wants to.
She hasn't complained to you, she's sorting her own problem with your cat out herself and at her expense.

Perhaps she's had previous neighbours that were not very accommodating or even rude in similar circumstances and she'd rather just not bother with you.