AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

[SunnyLuny]

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden.

Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

Not necessarily - on our estate fences between properties are shared ownership & only boundary fences have one owner - found that out when our fence blew down in a storm.

I would keep it indoors, I mistyped.

And if she talks to you, what can you offer to her? Practical suggestion which would improve the situation, not just a polite chat expecting her to say "no problem"?

You decided to bring a nuisance to your neighbourhood, not everyone will love you for it.

If you’d be willing to keep it in for shitting why did you not just cat proof your garden to start with to keep it in.

I imagine having neighbours who you've gone out of your way to be nice, to letting their cat destroy your garden without any discussion, is pretty upsetting, but she hasn't spoken to you because she doesn't want a scene. Afterall, you must know what it's doing, if you are reasonable and able to stop it, surely you'd have already done it.

I’ve tried to talk to her but she pretends that I don’t exist

It's your fence?? She needs a few words for doing it regardless of how pissed off she is with your cat.

I'd be getting a claw hammer and ripping them out.

I recently got two cats - when I started letting them out I noticed they were in the neighbours garden a lot because it’s so exciting - very mature and lots of hiding places - I immediately knocked on his door to tell him and to discuss and invited him to soak them with water to stop it if he didn’t like and keep me informed, he is a cat lover, but I didnt assume he would be ok with this

I also made a outdoor cat litter in my garden for them to use so I know they are not pooing elsewhere and annoying neighbours

I think you could have done more to help the situation - she probably doesn’t know how to say she hates it but you seem like you know so be more proactive and neighbourly

It must be to stop your cat getting into her garden.

You've said "I'm really sorry our cat's upsetting you" and she's ignored you?

I am fed up of constantly having to clear cat poo out of my garden, having to check it before my children play in their garden.
currebtly my newly planted flower bed has been used by cats and needs sorting.

it takes time and is an unpleasant job.

Are these the plastic spikes or large metal ones? If the plastic ones they didn't deter our cat 😂 we made our garden secure - best thing ever.

You bought a cat that shits in her garden - I less your words were “let me know whenever the cat shits on your garden or causes any problems and I’ll sort it out” I guess she isn’t interested in any chat

I think YANBU OP. Weird to put spikes on a fence. I have cats, but I have also not always had cats and never known my garden to fill up with cat poo to the extent experienced on MN.

I wonder what measures she is taking against foxes.

Those rubber spike things are pretty useless btw, I have seen cats and foxes totally ignoring them.

Just ignore her OP. You have tried to talk to her and she ignores you. She has a whole war going on in her head that she’s forgotten to tell you about. She sounds mad and you’re better off out of it.

This.

And it's not just the shit. It's killing birds and wildlife, probably digging and tearing up plants, and generally invading her space.

You know it bothers her. Stop being disingenuous "oh i would keep it in if I were asked..." all wide-eyed. Keep the cat indoors. You've had three years to figure that out.

Why don't you pop a note through her door saying something like ' I see you've put the spikes on the fence. Is there a problem? I'm wondering if it's the cat. We can keep it indoors if it's bothering you. Just let me know.'
She may be relieved and speak to you about it or at least put a note through herself.

No. Just ignore. She’s obviously pissed off with your cat but there is nothing you can do so let her carry on with being pissed off.

I’ll never understand this anger & hatred towards cat owners who have outdoor cats (which is completely normal imo). I don’t have cats but there are a few that come into our garden that I occasionally see. I just shoo them away when I see them I don’t think for one minute that I should take umbrage with the owners as they don’t actively encourage them to use our garden. I’m more concerned about them catching the birds than using it as a toilet although I’ve never actually seen any pooing in our garden. I’d much rather they were outside doing what comes naturally to them than cooped up indoors

if its your fence you can require her to remove the spikes

How long are you going to continue using the excuse that she doesn’t want to talk to you to avoid taking responsibility for your pet?

She might not have told you, or given you the opportunity to ask her, but now you know she doesn’t want your cat in her garden. That much is obvious. Helping a neighbour search for a lost kitten who hasn’t yet been to invade the garden does not mean she loved the cat.

Maybe she’s just one of those people that can’t cope with any type of confrontation so she’s coped by avoiding you. Whatever it is, you know your cat is upsetting her, so just do what you have to do to keep it in your own garden.

You don’t need a conversation with her to do the right thing.

Also I don’t condone it as I’ve said I’m a cat owner but I’d be thankful for the spikes compared to what some people do to keep cats out. We keeps ours in. Much like in many other places where you have to keep them in.

I guess you're not a gardener. If you regularly found your hands and tools covered in it and had your plants dug up and/or killed, you might feel differently.

Can anyone else imagine why this neighbour doesn't want to talk to the oh so reasonable cat owner who can't be told she's done anything wrong?