Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher

[SophEll]

I had a night out a few weeks ago with a friend. In a bar, we were approached by a man (who had a male friend with him) who started talking to us. He seemed quite drunk, but explained he recognised me from past parents evenings. At this point, I realised who he was - he taught one of my DC at their old school (they’ve since left). Out of nowhere, he said to me ‘I always used to imagine what it would have been like to bend you over that desk’. I was speechless, my friend said ‘excuse me’ and he replied ‘joking obviously’ and we walked off. My friend couldn’t believe what we had heard.

The following Monday, I checked the schools website which confirmed he was still teaching there. I followed the complaints procedure on their website and got a fairly blunt reply which was along the lines of, ‘sorry but as this happened outside of school and at a non school event, we are unable to review your complaint’. I challenged this - said surely it’s of interest to them and again they replied and also said it is outside of the remit for the DfE, and that they’d file any further correspondence from me without responding.

I was furious, as someone like that should not be teaching children in my view. Another friend says they think I can complain straight to Ofsted and they should take it seriously. I’ve also considered writing to my local paper about the schools dismissive response.

My DH thinks I need to drop it and that I’m just stressing myself out by taking it further - he thinks he will just deny the comment and that will be that, but he’ll be suitably embarrassed not to say something like that again.

AIBU to pursue this?

I would have expected the school to apologise that one of their employees, who you had met in their professional capacity, approached you in this way. And to the pp who asked if you would contact a gas company with the same complaint - yes! The gas engineer would know my home address too. If a business wants to keep its customers the very least its employees can do is avoid letching over them, if they bump into them in public.

That sounds more like harassment than one drunken comment.

Ex student

I suppose you could complain about his poor level of expression, if that's the best thing he can come up with. Maybe to send him on a refresher course to come up with interesting and well thoughts points instead of that rubbish he said?

If he had used a line from Shakespeare, would that have been more acceptable to you?

Actually no it doesn't have to be repeated to be classed as sexual harassment. And you don't have to be in the workplace for it to be classed as such any more. Which is a step in the right direction but in a situation like this there's still not much you can do about it, unfortunately. Ideally it would be something for the police rather than his employer though.
Not sure why people are writing it off as just a dodgy comment that missed the mark when it's actually quite graphic.

How ridiculous to complain to the school about this! Teachers are allowed to have a life outside of work.

You are wrong but still insisting you are right.Don’t ask if you don’t want to hear the truth.

Drop it and get on with your life.If you don’t want to meet sleazy men stay away from bars.

I wouldn't like it no, but I certainly wouldn't try to ruin a man's life over it. You need to get over yourself

No. As others have pointed it, you were both adults on a night out. I don't he was really thinking that at parents evening, he was obviously changing his arm with you

I work in HR in Education

We would not investigate this. it was outside of work, it was not in a work capacity, it was not in the course of his employment, it did not present a safeguarding concern as it did not involve children.

We'd think he was a sleazebag but that's not our remit if he's a sleazebag outside of work and not in it

Completely OTT OP.
The man was drunk on a night out.
Let it go PLEASE

@Notquitegrownup2 how on earth do the school know that the OP isn't some unhinged nutter making unpleasant comments about a member of staff? All the school has is uncorroborated hearsay from a member of the public. If the school were to apologise on behalf of a member of staff, they would be admitting an employee had behaved inappropriately in some way. I imagine they could find themselves in all sorts of problems from a legal perspective if they did this. For all we know the member of staff could dispute the complaint and say it is slanderous.

It must be terrible for men-they can’t say anything nowadays. How are they supposed to form relationships if they can’t tell women in public that they’d like to bend them over a desk? I blame feminists, personally.

A former student who no longer has any connection with the school not a student.

I think you have cast yourself as a heroic figure in a drama you're filming in your own head?

Maybe you don't get enough attention in your life? Maybe you're always overlooked?

Maybe you're confusing teacher with The Pope and applying the same moral standards tto him . Teachers are allowed to try and pick up a middle aged woman-it's not against the law.

But, on balance, I imagine you are a bored woman, fed up of no one taking especial notice of you and like the idea of people coming along to take a statement, have a sad face in the newspaper and for once, just for once, feel as of people will have to take notice of what you say.

Get. A. Grip.

He wasn't being pervy against kids.
It's the same as if someone worked in Sainsbury's or for the local council, the employer couldn't investigate a complaint about what they said to someone on a night out.

Imagine how much time HR departments would spend dealing with it if every person who crudely chatted someone up outside of work had to be investigated?

Trial by social media? The OP could be in more trouble than the teacher if she takes part in this kind of harassment.

MrsMappFlint
I am laughing at your comment, but to be clear, I agree with you!

You need to drop it.

I can't believe you went to the school. That's insane. It's like you have turned into some creepy obsessed stalker ex with a grudge against him.

If you were that bothered you should have told him so at the time.

Id tread carefully with the press, he could end up sueing you deformation

I actually think that he could potentially have bought the school into disrepute with his behaviour. You could consider contacting the governors. However, I would have thought that a verbal warning would be appropriate here. Certainly not writing to the local press.

I think you are just trying to stir up trouble. Plenty of sleazy people around particularly if drunk. Nothing to do with the school.

Slow day at the daily mail?

Also, there is no such thing as straight to Ofsted. You need to exhaust internal complaints processes first.

he made a lewd joke, banter some call it, to someone who he had met before. It was misplaced towards you but it is a cringy chat up line rather than anything more sinister. Of course it has nothing to do with teaching, unless he teaches his students drunk in a nightclub

Unfortunately, the school won't do anything OP, and if this thread is anything to go by, expectations of men are clearly at an all time low. Quite staggering reading. It seems some women would be flattered by a man who used to teach their child telling them he used to imagine them bent over the desk. Others think it's all lovely, harmless fun. The man deserves a life! The poor man!

Anyway, is there a school website with reviews from parents? Or does the school have Instagram? I'd put his photo, role and the comment he made on there maybe?

If it causes him to have a rethink, or other teachers 'who have a life' to think twice, good.

in what possible way does the fact her children now left the school make it relevant?