After school detention is a thing now?

[PennyWhistleSweet]

My 11 yr old yr 7 son has been issued an after school detention for disrespecting a new teacher.

We never had them at my high school and wanted to know what you all thought of them.

Myself, I'm currently at whits end with him calling me a fucking bitch and pushing me etc (another thread for another day) so I'm hoping this might give him a bit of a shock.

I started secondary school in 1998 and they were a thing then. You could be kept after school for a 10 minute detention with no notice, or a 30 minute detention with notice

Again: I am giving him punishments. It's not working.

Also to whoever said grow a back bone and stand up to him, he is physically strong and I e had a multitude of bruises when I do so it's not really a helpful comment.

You need to nip this in the bud quickly. You’re raising this child and he needs to be used to boundaries. Sit down and have a serious conversation with him. Take away his priveliges such as WiFi, devices and pocket money. If he’s behaving like this at 11, imagine how he’s going to behave when he’s bigger.

So you think that a teacher’s right to a lunch break should be impacted instead?

@TicklishMintDuck fair enough. I see what you mean.

I finished school in 2012, so 13 years ago, and afterschool detentions were definitely a thing at my secondary school, but they could only keep us until 4.30pm (school ended at 3.30, so an hour). I lived a 10 minutes walk away so getting home wasn’t an issue if I ended up with one. Unsure what children who lived further out did if they had to catch a bus or had pick up times etc.

You need to ask for help. This is way beyond normal. And please educate yourself on the internet. Only 11? He will have seen and engaged with things that are truly awful.

And if he’s been as disrespectful in school as it seems, you’re lucky that he hasn’t been suspended.

He's always had parental controls on.i didn't just give him a phone and let him run wild.

I agree you need to ask for help. This is not normal, it sounds terrifying for you having to live with his violence.

Definitely a thing in late 90s/early 00s. I think our school had a thing where it could be same day up to 15mins but anything longer you got 24 hours notice.
I only ever had a few, and it was always whole class punishment for a naughty few and not me breaking the rules, so I really hated them!

We only had after school detention when I was on high school - I'm nearly 50

I get the argument about kids getting home but sometimes inconveniencing parents is the only way to get the message home

You allow your 11 year old to use social media, therefore you don’t know what he’s being exposed to. Heard of Andrew Tate? Toxic masculinity? Naive.

Yes a thing and some schools do weekend detentions!

I've heard of Andrew Tate, that awful misogynistic bloke. I don't think an 11 yr old would find him interesting. I'm not naive but how would that interest a young boy

Well his had his first after school detention now. Hopefully it will shake him up a bit.

As I said I do look on his phone and have never seen any adult content.

Have you been living under a rock? Children as young as primary school age are being influenced by this bellend, and the fact you're completely unaware of the dangers and your son has access to social media and the Internet is quite concerning.

I have a son who is also in year seven and luckily also thinks he's a twat. He's not got any social media other than WhatsApp, and I monitor everything he does online. He's heard of Andrew Tate as has many of his peers, some of who have stated they think he's 'cool'.

Please wise up

I hope so too but OP you really need to take the violence seriously. He has spat at you and left you with bruises. He swears at you. He is 11 and already scaring you. It will get worse, so much worse and you need professional help. You also need to think about the environment in which he is growing up if he has an angry dad who constantly loses his temper and what he perceives to be a weak mother whom he feels it is okay to abuse. This family needs urgent intervention.

And yes, you are clearly very naive if you think 11 year olds who have access to social media aren't at risk of finding him interesting. That's exactly what Tate does, hooks them in by making them think if they copy his lifestyle, they'll be rich and have women falling over them.

Maybe I am naive. I didn't realise they could be targeted so young. Teenagers maybe but not 11 😔

Have you changed the internet password at home? Suspended his data plan. Those would be useful sanctions.

if not, what consequence are you proposing?

One assumes that your child will never have to face the consequences of their behaviour because mummsy will always have their little back.
It may surprise you to know that schools actually take into consideration getting home etc. and detentions can be scheduled for lunchtime or breaktime, mummsy allowing of course, not finding more excuses.
When one chooses a school one accepts the rules of that school, if you don't like them, hasta la vista!

For disrespecting you and school remove ohine entirely. You need to get on top of this behaviour.

*phone