To not be happy that my new work lanyard has “she/her” on it without me asking?

[TheNavyAnt]

I’ve just started a new job and noticed that my staff lanyard/pass automatically has my name and “she/her” printed underneath it. Nobody asked if I wanted pronouns added - it was just assumed and put there by default.

I don’t have anything against people sharing pronouns if they want to, but personally, I wouldn’t have chosen to have it printed on my pass. It feels a bit forced, like I’m being made to take part in something I didn’t ask for and I’m not sure why it needs to be there at all unless I choose it.

AIBU to feel slightly uncomfortable about this? Or should I just let it go as one of those “modern workplace” things?

I think she had a very valid point”

" I think Rachel raises a very valid point"

I honestly don't think it does matter, except that she should have been asked first. Just my opinion of course, but it's not something I could get worked up about.

Id be asking to have it removed due to the assumption, not being asked and dont wish to disclose

My preferred pronouns are those which are only used in a sentence.

In reality of course we use gendered pronouns all the time, but we don't need to be told which ones to use because they correspond to people's sex.

If anyone asks me to do anything different I will avoid the use of gendered pronouns because I believe it is the best compromise between not upsetting them and not perjuring myself.

The thing is, nobody ASKED her! I don't believe in the pronouns nonsense and I'd be saying so; however, the organisation I work for has at least one person who is a "they/them" - he (for it's a bloke) will have declared this. Nobody has the right to assume another person's pronouns.

I think preferred pronouns should be knocked on the head.

Load of navel gazing bollocks that show you support a regressive ideology that harms women and children.

I can understand that you might not wan to rock the boat OP but GC beliefs are worthy of respect in a democratic society and alternative beliefs should not be enforced in the workplace.

Whilst I like the directness of this, saying this would imply you actually had preferred pronouns in the first place. I don’t. I’m she/her because I’m female. Not choice or preference.

I think you should say nothing. You do not want to be that person HR are talking about in day 1.

I get the whole assumption / choice argument. I also get that probation periods, promotions and redundancies don’t happen by accident

complain and ask them to be removed.

Sticker over it, maybe a rainbow to keep the weirdingtons happy?

That’s pretty much how I feel too. I’m happy to respect how people want to be addressed but I don’t see why it needs to be pre-printed or made mandatory without asking. It should be a personal choice, not an assumption - especially when, day to day, most professional interactions aren’t even about pronouns.

yes, but what if she was struggling with her gender identity and didn;t want reference to "she/her" - what if she was actually thinking about being they/them and HR have assumed her gender? It;s awful.

I would feel the same, I've silently rebelled against my work trying to introduce things like my email signature to include them. I just never updated it and nobody has pulled me up on it.
People can use my name!

It is also about not allowing your company create policy which can harm the company.

Harm comes with financial loss which can cost you money in reduced salary or benefits.

Gender falls with in a number of PC which can lead to harm (to the company)

Should the company provide a method to prove harm may have happened or where possible avoid giving the employee evidence which then has to be rebutted.
Eg I meet jo he/him with no badge an i bullying him if I say say I met her to a third party or jo is here she will be doing X
If I am actively bullying anyone who uses other sex pronouns has the company given me a way to create a list of employees who meet my criteria

If its a company card what data is needed

Company logo is an issue if it its a keycard or people attach work keys to the card

Name and company can be used to ID additional public data.

So asking why something is as it is can help the company assess if a change would be better or why the current set up work best for their needs

This would piss me off too.

Ob a practical level I would go in person to the people who create them - often security - and ask brightly with a smile if you can please have one without pronouns. I wouldn’t be giving reasons WHY, if they ask would just say it would be my preference, if they push you could say something like for your personal circumstances this would b your preference. I would be surprised if the security office is a hotbed of trans activism. But even it is is, an implication that this is around YOUR gender identity or lack thereof should make them back off

well, you fdo have a choice. and all this pronoun bullshit means you can not assume or force someone to reveal their pronouns.

because it's forcing those that are struggling to "come out" or whatever.

YANBU. That's pretty bad that they've assumed your pronouns are she/her without asking and then put them on a publicly visibly lanyard.

Pronouns should be optional also. Not everybody wants to use them, and forcing everyone to use them can out and other people who are non-binary or trans who don't really want attention drawing to it.

Did someone ask your preferred pronouns at some point? In the application or on boarding? If they didn't then assuming pronouns without asking about them is very odd.

Get some stickers and decorate your badge with them. One will cover unwanted pronouns. If they were purple, white and green it would be very pretty.

I have been on this planet for nearly 55 years.
My dint of my name and how I look and sound not a single colleague has had a problem knowing that I am a woman with the associated pronouns.
My name identifies me as an individual.

If other individuals feel their colleagues may not know what sex they are then it's on them to make it clear...if it's even important.

I communicate with people via email and don't know what sex they are (someone call Pat or many of the Chinese names I am not familiar with); I just tailor my message.

On the pass or on the lanyard? Sharpie or sticker as has been suggested should do it.

If get a smiley sticker me.

In my opinion it should only be there if requested and I’d think it would only be used by people who would be insulted to be misgendered surely.

Good approach

Watch them squirm

And how dare they assume that Ellen, clearly female, likes to be known as "she"?!

Tell them you prefer not to disclose your own pronouns in case it pressures others to disclose theirs when they're not yet ready to do that. You think it's best if people can choose to share what they want to, when they're comfortable