To not be happy that my new work lanyard has “she/her” on it without me asking?

[TheNavyAnt]

I’ve just started a new job and noticed that my staff lanyard/pass automatically has my name and “she/her” printed underneath it. Nobody asked if I wanted pronouns added - it was just assumed and put there by default.

I don’t have anything against people sharing pronouns if they want to, but personally, I wouldn’t have chosen to have it printed on my pass. It feels a bit forced, like I’m being made to take part in something I didn’t ask for and I’m not sure why it needs to be there at all unless I choose it.

AIBU to feel slightly uncomfortable about this? Or should I just let it go as one of those “modern workplace” things?

Buy a differnt lanyard, stick your id on that
Or discuss with your manager

Absolutely this. It's utterly bizarre that they're going along with declaration of pronouns but not even asking people!

Tell them you are unhappy your pronouns were assumed and you don’t wish to disclose your pronouns so please could she/her be removed.

Go back to HR and ask if you can have a lanyard without pronouns on it because you don't feel comfortable displaying this information for personal reasons.

That's why we're here in this current world mess though.
Oh everyone's doing it
Oh it doesn't matter
I don't mind so you shouldn't
You're new/ a woman so don't make a fuss

Data protection policy and HR data.

If the company knows the gender of a person should they be publishing the data without express permission?

What are the controls around collection and processing
And is the publication on an access/ID card legitimate interests or excessive

https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/uk-gdpr-guidance-and-resources/lawful-basis/a-guide-to-lawful-basis/legitimate-interests/

Yes, this is a hill to die on. I would go straight to HR and ask for a new one to be issued.

https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/pronouns/

You didn't have to do it and in light of the Supreme Court ruling the other day you can quite confidently remove it again. They have forced you to express an allegiance to an ideology you don't share. Your employers should be the ones who should be worrying.

what if you identify as a non binary they/them? also bonkers but how dare they assume you are she/her under their own silly rules, the whole point of which is that you shouldn't assume women are boring old she/hers? I'd be raging about this OP.

I'd also go back with 'someone has assumed my pronouns without asking me which is outrageous, I am upset now and dont wish to disclose them, please remove these pronouns and reissue without.

OP, go to HR or whoever is in charge of lanyards and say you want one without pronouns, thank you very much. If they want to know why, say that your pronouns are a private matter to you and you don't care which pronouns others use. And ask them if they're aware of the Supreme Court ruling two weeks ago.

I’d be a bit of a shit and go back and ask who assumed your pronouns and why

Are you a she/her? If so, I don’t understand what the issue is?
It’s helpful for colleagues to know how you like to be referred to. No different from having your name printed on the badge.
I’m sure HR will remove it if you’re genuinely that bothered about people thinking you’re a woman.
I find it really helpful at work (There is a trans woman at my work and not to sound mean, but I would have just assumed she was a he/him if she didn’t have her pronouns in email sig - and I could have ended up really hurting her feelings)

Tbh I wouldn't die on this hill, but then we're all different and if this matters a lot to you then see HR about it or put a sticker over it. In my experience I've found it doesn't change much day-to-day in the office, except we have the chance to address each other in the manner we'd prefer.

In what scenario are people addressing people to their face using their pronouns? To their face you just talk to them, and in their absence you can use their name.

I am a she/her - that’s not the issue. I have no problem if someone wants to share their pronouns. My discomfort is with it being assumed and printed without asking me. It’s about choice and autonomy, not about hiding my gender or objecting to pronouns themselves.

Many scenarios in the workplace.

In a team meeting
eg. “I agree with what Rachel just said, I think she had a very valid point”

I would definitely complain and ask for a new one. For one thing they’ve assumed your pronouns without asking you, which goes against the whole argument in favour of doing this at all!

Many people don’t want to publicise their pronouns for a wide variety of reasons, ranging from not agreeing with the whole idea of stating them to not being ready to make their preference known. In the second case in particular , it achieves the opposite of what is intended to do this without your agreement.

So if you are unsure on preferred pronouns: "I agree with Rachel's very valid point".

It beggars belief that people feel they need to know the sex of their colleagues in order to work with them.

Exactly - most of the time in direct conversation, you’re not using pronouns anyway. That’s part of why it feels unnecessary to put it on a badge by default. It’s not that I’m against people choosing to share their pronouns - it’s just that automatically assigning and publicising them feels a bit over the top for day to day interactions.

This.

People would be up in arms if companies publicized any other protected characteristics like this (your religion on a lanyard anyone?), but when it's sex, oh that's apparently fine

What about when you be bitchin' about somebody?

Ze sooo fat now!

What's wrong with, "I agree with Rachel" or "I thought Rachel's point was very valid"?

You've just said the same thing twice in this sentence for no particular reason.

In fact, one huge benefit to training yourself to avoid the unnecessary use of gendered pronouns is that it helps you become less verbose.

Why would you need pronouns on a work email? I roll my eyes when I see someone has done this. I don't care what they are or think they are as long as the email makes sense a reasonable request and no spelling mistakes.

I would not be wearing a lanyard with she/her on it.