Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to let random parents drive my child on school trip

179 replies

Daisysmummyf · 28/04/2025 20:48

Over the last year or so DD7’s school has arranged trips to a local activity centre for sports festivals, where a selected group of kids are invited to take part. She was invited to the first one which was 9-11 during a school day, about a 15 min drive away on motorway. They sent the letter home 2 days before and asked if any parents could drive their children there. I was free that day so agreed, and when I got to school I was also giving a lift to another child who I didn’t know which I wasn’t expecting, which was fine. I was however surprised they didn’t ask me for anything like my licence or proof of insurance etc, especially to take someone else’s child.

Since then she’s been invited to multiple of these events, all with 1 or 2 days notice and they have all been cancelled the night before as not enough parents are free to give lifts, including myself . Kids have then been devastated as the teachers tell them they are going before they have even got permissions.

Had another letter home on Friday for a trip tomorrow morning, this one is gymnastics so she’s desperate to go but I’m working and can’t take time off at such short notice. Due to the fact they don’t perform any checks on drives I’ve said on the permission slip she can only go if a teacher drives. I now think she probably won’t end up going and I feel so mean. I have emailed the school to express concerns but had no reply.

YABU: I should trust the random parents to drive her
YANBU: I am right to be cautious / annoyed about short notice

OP posts:
Eldermillennialmum · 28/04/2025 20:49

I would feel like you OP but I'm sure many wouldn't care.

Arraminta · 28/04/2025 20:49

Seriously?

VickyEadieofThigh · 28/04/2025 20:51

It's also dodgy on safeguarding grounds.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 28/04/2025 20:51

100% YANBU. It sounds like the most basic aspects of this arrangement haven't been considered and in your situation my dc wouldn't be going either, unless I could take them myself or a trusted teacher was driving.

EssexCat · 28/04/2025 20:54

VickyEadieofThigh · 28/04/2025 20:51

It's also dodgy on safeguarding grounds.

Absolutely. And I’m not a particularly stressy parent but even I would draw the line at a random parent taking my child.

Not least because my daughter had a lift from a heavy smoker when she was younger (it was meant to be the mum but ended up being the dad). She came home reeking and really upset.

TheNightingalesStarling · 28/04/2025 20:55

Its probably the only way the school can afford to do it, but your concerns are valid.

Laiste · 28/04/2025 20:59

No! Surely not.

I wouldn't allow my DCs to go off in a car with random parents.

I'd feel bad and awkward and as if i was the only one too though OP. One of those moments when you find yourself thinking 'is it really only me who's unhappy about this?!?!?' But i'd still say no.

Have you got any mum/dad of the rest of the class friends? Who might also feel this is wrong? You won't be the only one.

Gemmawemma9 · 28/04/2025 20:59

I’ve been here, OP! I am a pretty laid back mum, but used to watch one mum drive her daughter to school every day with a fag hanging out of her mouth. I had a quiet word with the teacher, telling them I didn’t want my daughter in the car with her and exactly why.
I too was surprised that the school let parents drive with no checks.

Lemonjello · 28/04/2025 21:00

You could ask to see the risk assessment they have done on these trips including risks around using parents as drivers while unsupervised by teaching or support staff.

golemmings · 28/04/2025 21:02

I'd expect any adult volunteering in a school to have a DBS check.

Soonenough · 28/04/2025 21:05

Your choice but your daughter will miss out. Schools don't have enough resources so unless parents volunteer to take them to these events they can't go. It's a shame they can't afford to hire a small mini bus for these occasions . I understand your concerns but checking licences and insurance is unrealistic. Plus you don't know what standard they drive. Smoking is an obvious no go .

tigerlily9 · 28/04/2025 21:06

I would ask the school what checks they have that the parents can drive safely and have completed enhanced DBS checks. If not maybe they should make a TA or teacher available to drive a minibus or stop offering the trips.

2old4thisshit · 28/04/2025 21:07

I’m surprised this still goes on. I’m a teacher, when I was a TA a few years back (pre Covid, this was a fairly regular occurrence. More recently, last 3 years, even as a fully dbs member of staff, I would not be allowed to drive children in my own car without another adult present, safeguarding myself and the children.

Putthekettleon73 · 28/04/2025 21:07

Do you have a class group thread? Messenger thread? We are a little village school but regularly arrange parent lifts. I'm often the parent doing the lifts as I have a 7 seater old zafira that can fit a gang in. Obvs only parents that know me ok it but I've also accepted from other parents I know if I'm working.
Schools don't have mini busses and the teachers can't fit in all the kids.

SunshineAndFizz · 28/04/2025 21:07

What a shit show. Absolutely no way.

Any parents who volunteer for our school trips have to have a DBS for CPFS (the advanced check). So no, I wouldn’t allow my child in a random persons car without any checks whatsoever.

FancyCatSlave · 28/04/2025 21:10

I know I’m quite protective but it won’t be happening with my DD. Absolutely no way.

Fine with parents I know and like and it’s a teeny tiny school so I actually know quite a lot of them. But I know there’s some children at school with heavy social services involvement and hell will freeze over before my DD goes anywhere near those parents.

It does happen occasionally at ours I think with some teams but there’s quite a process in place and you don’t just get a random child.

Bushmillsbabe · 28/04/2025 21:10

Nope, my daughter wouldnt be going unless it's with a parent I know and trust.
Her school (juniors) seems to do one of these trips most weeks, but they always take a minibus or coach using sports premium funding.

SunshineAndFizz · 28/04/2025 21:11

Soonenough · 28/04/2025 21:05

Your choice but your daughter will miss out. Schools don't have enough resources so unless parents volunteer to take them to these events they can't go. It's a shame they can't afford to hire a small mini bus for these occasions . I understand your concerns but checking licences and insurance is unrealistic. Plus you don't know what standard they drive. Smoking is an obvious no go .

So surely they miss out and don’t go?

It’s not about driving standards, it’s about some random person being with your child without any background checks.

1SillySossij · 28/04/2025 21:11

My kids went to a tiny village school and as a self employed at home parent with a 8 seater, I did a lot of this. The parents give their permission and it is essentially classed as a private arrangement between parents.

ProfessionalWhimsicalSkidaddler · 28/04/2025 21:12

I can’t believe that a school would do this… particularly not asking for DBS and proof of insurance. Some people drive terribly and there’s a real risk here. I’d be complaining to the school and wondering if they are really that stupid or just don’t care.
school trips are with a professional driver only.

stichguru · 28/04/2025 21:13

At a minimum

  • the parents MUST have informed their insurance company they are doing this
  • ensure that either the driver's insurance or the school's insurance covers injury to the children in the event of an accident
  • check that all the parents have enhanced DBS checks
If they are not doing this don't let your daughter go, but also report them to the LA as I am sure they should/will be in deep trouble as they deserve.
Prepositional · 28/04/2025 21:14

We only allow this is parents arrange lifts between themselves. I also wonder if they're lax on the teachers having business insurance which is essential if they are also driving. My nearly 7 year old very rarely has lifts with friends due to the faff around s car seats; I certainly wouldn't let her go down the motorway with an unknown parent.

Snugglemonkey · 28/04/2025 21:17

I would not be ok with this either. We do have parents transport children on occasion, but it is v rare. And there would be 2 parents. For the most part, any kind of trip is covered by teachers, but with parents support, rather than parents actually taking responsibility for any children.

Nametobechanged · 28/04/2025 21:19

A parent who volunteers to drive kids at our school also has limited feeling in her legs and various other horrible health issues which should probably stop her from having a license, never mind drive kids around.

Original poster
Daisysmummyf · 28/04/2025 21:23

Thanks everyone. I did say in the email to the head that I sent that I appreciated that school is trying to do these nice trips for the kids, as I know it’s for their benefit. I just think it should be organised with more notice and with more safety in mind. I’m not normally over protective as such, I just feel like I needed to draw a line here. We do have a class WhatsApp and everyone is trying to arrange lifts but it’s all a bit awkward. There are obviously some mums I know well and would be happy with them driving as my DD has had play dates with them in the holidays etc, but there’s no option for being selective on the permission slip!
I have said on the form she can go but only with a teacher. She’s obviously upset though :(

OP posts: