Not to let random parents drive my child on school trip

[Daisysmummyf]

Over the last year or so DD7’s school has arranged trips to a local activity centre for sports festivals, where a selected group of kids are invited to take part. She was invited to the first one which was 9-11 during a school day, about a 15 min drive away on motorway. They sent the letter home 2 days before and asked if any parents could drive their children there. I was free that day so agreed, and when I got to school I was also giving a lift to another child who I didn’t know which I wasn’t expecting, which was fine. I was however surprised they didn’t ask me for anything like my licence or proof of insurance etc, especially to take someone else’s child.

Since then she’s been invited to multiple of these events, all with 1 or 2 days notice and they have all been cancelled the night before as not enough parents are free to give lifts, including myself . Kids have then been devastated as the teachers tell them they are going before they have even got permissions.

Had another letter home on Friday for a trip tomorrow morning, this one is gymnastics so she’s desperate to go but I’m working and can’t take time off at such short notice. Due to the fact they don’t perform any checks on drives I’ve said on the permission slip she can only go if a teacher drives. I now think she probably won’t end up going and I feel so mean. I have emailed the school to express concerns but had no reply.

YABU: I should trust the random parents to drive her
YANBU: I am right to be cautious / annoyed about short notice

Our school did something similar for a sports event, but it also transpired that no school staff were going so that parent was responsible for the kids all day at the event. The parent knew nothing about the children she had been sent with (except her own son), allergies, medical needs, emergency contacts etc. Never volunteered again as it felt a really vulnerable position to be in. But the school still uses the same set up for sports events. They say they can only send staff if the whole year group are going.

They've also been known to put kids in a taxi with a TA which is marginally better.

Isn’t this what the school minibus is for? If it can’t be organised sufficiently well in advance to book a school vehicle (which as far as I can tell most primary schools have and definitely all the secondaries I have taught at) then the team planning need to sort themselves out…

No it’s not unrealistic, it’s a basic H+S requirement. All the staff in schools who would potentially be using their car to ferry children to events would need business cover on their insurance, the school should have a copy of their insurance policy and driving licence. Any parent ferrying other people’s children should have the same plus a current DBS. This is the very minimum.

I’m a TA and will not drive children to events - it’s not my job and I would not feel comfortable doing so.
Schools can’t afford to do trips now-a-days as the transport is too costly- there are many, many threads on MN complaining about the cost of transport for trips.
We have a problem at my school where we have a considerable debt from parents who sign their children up for trips and then refuse to pay.
The only answer is to end all school trips. Schools cannot win, so best to at least not rack up debt.

Isn't this highly unusual? When mine were at school, I was often roped in to walk the children places (leisure centre, library, local churches etc) but parents were never asked to drive the children anywhere. There would have been coaches hired if the venue wasn't in walking distance. I've never heard of parents driving children on school trips! I wouldn't have been happy about this either, unless I knew the parent well.

It’s a shame that the school are putting you in this position. Our council have a couple of community minibuses and the council will put parents through Midas training and pay for a pvg. It works out really well as saves a fortune in coach hire, kids travel with a teacher / TA so safeguarding box ticked.

I do think we need more practical schemes like this utilising shared resources rather than everything costing £££s

I had to have a DBS check before I was allowed to give lifts on school trips.

With the price of mini bus hire it happens a lot now. "Drive your own child". The bit I object to is the lack of transparency about who is going so we can organise lifts amongst ourselves. I am school DBS checked myself but if I don't know your child can't go because you can't take them how can I help?

I’d expect any adult volunteering in a school to have an enhanced DBS check.

maybe I’m not understanding this right - are those “random” parents not fellow parents of kids in your kid’s class? Have you never met any of them at all? Contrary what some may believe, the vast majority of people - and especially other parents who volunteer their time to take THEIR OWN child plus yours on a trip - aren’t child molesters or driving around without a license.

society really is doomed when the starting point is that even other fellow parents can’t be trusted and that your kids are made of glass.

This is a great solution. The parent drives the minibus and the school staff run crowd control and no adult gets left alone with a child.
Presumably community transport is cheaper than each school owning their own minibus.

It’s a nice thought, but over 17 years ago one of my DC’s friends was jailed for the murder of a child in the 1970s. So no.

I hear what you are saying as I'm a protective parent, but YABU. You can't expect the school to perform checks on the parents, not to mention it's probably a breach of privacy too. Offer to take your own kid, problem solved. Be reasonable, or your expectations will mean that the school will stop doing these kinds of things.

Also, to add many parents can't even be bothered taking time out for their own kids, so the fact you have parents volunteering is something you should appreciate!

It's one thing if the school ask parents to take their own child / organise their own car shares, but quite another if the school are allocating children to whoever volunteers to drive. It sounds like they're not even doing the most basic due diligence.

The information you need is an online document called Keeping Children Safe in Education.

Fred west was a parent

I am sorry that happene to you. Must have been terrifying. I do though hope you have a clear enough mind to perceive that you have experienced a traumatic event and that your fear is a trauma response blocking a rational assessment of the danger in this concrete situation.

No one should be driving children in a car or any other vehicle without an enhanced DBS check. This was emergency legislation brought in after the Soham murders.

Yes. Some people do horrific things. Some are parents. Statistically and rationally and with all due respect though, the risk that one of these parents volunteering to give lifts to others kids - alongside their own kids, hello, are people forgetting that part of it totally..? - should harm your child is so negligible as to be nonexistent. I don’t want to bring down the mood by listing all the things your child is more likely to be harmed by - but “stranger” or “other parent” danger truly isn’t one of them.

Do you understand these parents have THEIR OWN kids in the car too??

These aren't random people, they are the parents of children at OPs school and no doubt she would (should) also know most of them given she is an involved parent who cares about her child?

I don’t even understand this. I know every single parent in both my kids classes.

I understand it perfectly well. Designated Safeguarding Lead in a school for 17 years.

So what are you exactly imagining could happen? Are you worried about traffic accidents or perverts? The first I can - sort of- understand, the second, which some on here are implying is just such a sad mindset.