To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

Didn’t say that was why my post was deleted. I meant my wifi is dodgy so I can’t watch MAFs hence have time to pop back on this thread 😄

Love kids, but they do need to be helped to understand how to behave properly . Touching toys someone else may wish to buy is not acceptable and is basic manners. Shop assistant could have been more polite too, but it sounds like you didn't have control over your child at that moment.

enough already

More than one person disagrees with you. Shocking.

More than one person disagrees with what?

Can you stop derailing the thread with your utter nonsense, @Roxietrees ?
I’m genuinely embarrassed for you.

I think she probably said what all retail workers are thinking. I work in a well known high st retailer full of beautiful things that children want to touch, and they come in with a Greggs in hand, touch everything, and I have to get rid of it. They also put things back in random places and leave things on the floor, and a lot of parents do absolutely nothing. I understand she probably should have worded it better, maybe she’d had a bad day and bad customers that day, and I understand you meant no harm. Maybe just take it as a reminder to teach kids we look with our eyes.

This happened to me when my DS was younger except the member of staff that day who also owned the shop snatched a toy out of his hand and said "it's mine". Never went back there.

What nonsense? Half the thread agreed with me! And all this “being embarrassed” nonsense doesn’t work. Errr it’s anonymous. How could I actually be embarrassed by an anonymous internet forum? But lucky for you I have another pressing engagement…so I’ll leave you to continue this pointless discussion

A lot of shops keep their jellycats in cases now because of how expensive they are

If you were buying the Jellycat would you prefer a pristine one or one that had been handled/cuddled/carried around by an unknown number of young children?

Totally agree with you. OP is vile and bit of a c0ck

Love this and I totally agree with you

She didn’t know your child had clean hands. Teach him not to touch.

the reality is that a lot of the soft toys ive purchased for my child have probably been hugged by other children. i havent thought deeply about it and i dont plan to give it a second thought in the future. if i walked into a toystore with my DD and said she could have a toy she would most likely pick one up and then decide later down that isle that she wants a different one. should i tell my child off for handling a toy and then deciding she wants a different one?

You're quite wrong there!

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. If it's a toy shop then there will be kids in there. If the stuff is on a low shelf the kids will be able to and want to touch it.
If the lady who owns the shop wants it to be not touched by children she needs to put it higher up or behind glass.
Reprimanding parents will not go down well. Makes her look like a snarky old bag who hates kids and people (like OP) will go to a place that loves kids and lets them be kids

I think that it is rude and disrespectful for children to pick up toys in a shop
we were ‘look don’t touch’
Brought up in the 70’s
My grandmother spoil us rotten, but this was the rule.
My kids - 90’s - same rule.
I have read with disbelief at the op’s replies.
Ruder with every update …….
If op had gone in the shop to buy a jelly cat and it had been marked / dirtied ( by ? A child ) Would she had bought it?
’oh kids will be kids , I’ll buy this item even though it’s mucky?’
it would be :
’I got ti the counter and realised the toy was dirty - AIBU, not to buy it?’

All kinds of things are on a low shelf in the supermarket and kids will be able to and will want to touch that too. Let kids be kids and play with whatever they find in there?

Be showing you love kids if you let them.

You mean let entitled kids be entitled kids and show you fear them and it isn't a show of love but fear!

Then she'd have asked for a discount off the shop keeper suggesting someone else dirtied it and wanting money off.

There were two of you so should have looked after a child each. 4yo is old enough to be told not to touch toys they are not buying. It’s different if they are boxed. Also the owner doesn’t know your child’s hands aren’t dirty. Sorry this is how I brought my kids up. My grandson is learning this from me but I notice it’s not so common now. Yes you were rude, but I think she could have asked nicely not to touch the soft toys.

It's funny - I have 5 dc's and in 20 odd years of parenting and countless trips t9 toy shops I have never witnessed anything like this. Never even seen a toy on the floor.

Almost like that's completely made up for clicks isn't it?

@Arlanymor what a haughty message. No need for it.

some of these comments are amazing - kids who don’t touch anything apparently and if you’re a parent who lets them then you have no manners and your kids aren’t well behaved.

clearly I have raised an animal.

Re-reading the original OP, the issue is not really OP’s DC picking up the toy. The issue is that OP and her DH chose to take offence and make a scene at being asked to tell DC to put the toy down if they weren’t going to buy it.

OP says that she might have bought it if they hadn’t been spoken to the way they were, but that’s clearly not correct as the shop assistant asked for the toy to be put down ‘if they weren’t going to buy it’ and she asked her DC to put the toy down. If they were planning to buy the toy, she could have told the shop assistant, ‘thank you, we are planning to buy the toy’ instead of asking DC to put the toy down.

OP sounds over sensitive and argumentative, both from the original post and her responses on this thread. Calling everyone who disagrees with you insane does not sound like the behaviour of a rational person, in fact, it is a tad immature. You can’t always be right, and not every situation is about right or wrong, sometimes there are differences of opinion. But sometimes establishments have rules that you can choose to follow or choose not to patronise if you don’t agree with the rules without causing a fight.

Her other daughter is 18 months old 🤣🤣 give her a break.

Your child should not be picking up then discarding toys, she should be looking with her eyes( I assume she isn't blind) in order to see which one she wants.