To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

No, I said imagine if (the general) you, as an adult, were told off for touching clothing as you browsed in a shop, I wasn’t talking about a child. You either put things on the shop floor to be touched or you lock them up so that customers have to ask for them to be brought out and shown to them. You can’t have it both ways.

So your child at 4 is not going to go on a school trip then? Imagine 30 four year olds all touching in the gift shop and of course it would be wrong of the teachers to tell them no because we cannot have expectations of children. Of course we can!

Sad your child will miss out on the school trips.

I know what you said, I was pointing out that the analogy doesn’t work if you substitute a grown adult with a 4 year old child?

The other half know how to have fun with their kids and enjoy the experience of shopping or browsing for toys, which often includes picking them up. Very young children learn through touch - different textures, materials, the way different things feel.

Oh dear, one of those entitled parents 😂

Playgroup and sensory groups are a thing! Don't be so lazy, take them to one of these groups and behave in shops while teaching your kids some manners. It's not that hard.

which one is it? 😂 Do you teach them to grab and play with items they should be told not to touch,
or do you teach them to ask nicely if they are allowed to touch the toy?

Having lazy parents who can't be bothered to do more than the bare minimum doesn't mean happier kids, shocking I know.

thank you for your fruit advice! (i can't stand melons myself but am 'forced' to buy them! 😂)

what a nasty bully you are.

You horrible attitude is obviously reflected on how you don't parent your kids and let them run wild. It all makes sense.

MY OPINION comes from raising 4 kids, and I couldn't agree more with the poster you are bullying and being so rude to.

You should be embarrassed instead of being so proud of raising a feral kid allowed to do anything in a shop. It's beyond me why someone who think it makes them superior?

You mean delete the app, the same way you said you weren't coming back earlier? 😅

Kids can touch, with parent supervision, not running ahead and grabbing things off the shelves.

Unfortunately there are a lot of entitled people hence the way society has turned out.

I have occasionally wondered if the people who are behaving like dicks know that they are behaving like dicks and just don’t care, or if they genuinely don’t know.

I think it’s that they don’t know

Hmmm who got their reply deleted by MN? Clearly because it was offensive. Nope not me that’s the nasty bully - clearly the poster I was replying to. They got their worryingly angry post deleted. My reply was HILARIOUS 😆 I just don’t get how people can get so angry on here, it’s just a bit of fun. How nice it must be to have a life with so few problems you expend your anger onto strangers over a pathetically trivial issue on the internet.

It was not offensive, it was calm and factual, I don't know why it got deleted, I am guessing they deleted the wrong one!

You are not hilarious, you are boring, and you are the one going on a full-rant and making constant personal attacks against someone. Why? Do you find this entertaining?

It's not "just a bit of fun" to berate someone who can't have children, how nasty are you!

The only angry one here is you. It's your personal attacks that need deleting, you are going way too far.

I don’t think they’re more anti-kid, it’s more a combination of lax parenting together with parents who are fearful of being judged for raising their voice or telling off their child in public. There is very much an atmosphere of never a cross word to your child or raising your voice so some parents I guess would let them get on with it rather than be judged as ‘abusive’ for telling them off or to put it back, or to face them kicking off and having to deal with that in public as well. Also a smack on the bottom or even threat of one is completely frowned upon now so some parents struggle with discipline, especially in front of others and probably decide the safest thing to do is not act negatively towards their child at all. I’m not saying any of the scenarios is right, btw, but they’re reasons why kids aren’t as well behaved today and shopkeepers etc are getting more fed up with their behaviour.

bye then!

I would expect them not to touch. Also a 4 year old is not a toddler, it's almost school age.
Children should be properly supervised in shops.

I'm not intrested in what you would expect unfortunately I could not give a damn a child touched a toy in a shop why is that such a big deal? If they are high value then they should have been locked in a display cabinet or out of reach, kids touch toys you can tell me all day they should be properly supervised but even a supervised child can touch a toy.

but the eldest child wasn't supervised properly - ' 4yo DD runs ahead '
now if she had been holding Daddy's hand the whole scenario could have been different...

two adults two children, how difficult was it ?

Thank God. What is up with her?!

Children touch toys that’s really not a difficult thing to understand. At 4 children have simply not developed enough impulse control. The child was being supervised but I don’t see why this involves holding her hand in a toy shop! If the owner doesn’t want items to be touched they should be placed out of the reach of small hands.

The personal attacks, however, on both sides of the argument are a disgrace.

Oh I can come back if you like? 🤣 Wi-Fi’s still on the blink. @BankHolidayBonanza is another account for @whippy1981 I’m thinking…

Also, no personal attacks from me. I’m just defending myself and my parenting, which all of us have the right to do

No, it’s not dodgy WI-FI, your post was deleted.

Since lockdown our spare rooms have been deployed as home offices. We live in a tourist area, lots of CF about. One night is hospitality, beyond that it’s like running a hotel.