To have been rude to shop assistant

[Mumoftwo52]

Family doing some shopping today. Go into an independent toy shop. I’m holding DD1 (18m) so she doesn’t pull everything off shelves, 4yo DD runs ahead and picks up a unicorn Jellycat and cuddles it saying ‘can I get this please mummy?’. Shop assistant shouts across the room ‘can she put that back if you’re not going to buy it as it’s expensive’. Me and DH exchange glances but I tell DD to put it back.

We keep browsing but I say to DH that I don’t really fancy buying anything now, and say quite loudly in front of the second shop assistant (who turns out to be the owner): ‘let’s go and find another toy shop where we’re allowed to touch the toys’. Yes I was being snarky but was annoyed.

She says these toys are expensive, she owns all the stock so if my DD damages it, it costs her money. I say I’d understand that if she had dirty hands, she doesn’t. I wouldn’t let her touch anything if she did. DH says it’s a shame kids aren’t allowed to touch toys in a toy shop, and that she’s lost a potential sale, she says that they've had bad experiences in the past and anyway it was clear we weren’t going to buy anything. I said ‘why do you think that?’ She replied: ‘it just is’. We quickly left.

AIBU for letting my kids touch toys in a toy shop? To be clear, this was a soft toy, not something delicate. My DD was holding it in her arms, nothing more.

Because I was interested in the responses. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with them.

If I’ve learnt anything over the past couple of weeks using Mumsnet it’s that this site is full of miserable, hostile contrarians who love to tell people off and make them feel less than.

Enjoy arguing with yourselves. I’m going to go and touch grass and delete this app 🤣

Rude.
I don’t want to pay £30+ for a collectible that a snotty nosed kid has been cuddling.

The shop owner was in the wrong for operating a bloody toy shop for children and then telling said children off for touching the merchandise. If certain items are so precious then they need to be on a high shelf, behind glass, or behind the till. Putting them at child height with free access to them then moaning when they’re picked up is absurd.

Can you imagine being shouted at for touching expensive clothing in a shop you were browsing?! And the assumption that you can’t afford it / won’t buy it? That’s Pretty Woman level shop snobbery. You must now go buy a few Jellycats and walk back in there to tell her she made a big mistake. Huge. 😄

Have you ever been in a toy shop?

or is it a regional/generational thing?

firmness?

Yep and don't touch unless I am buying. I was taught that as a child. No reason to touch things. Not rocket science or hard.

I used to work in retail and children certainly do come into shops with dirty, sticky hands and faces, runny noses etc and 'cuddle' the toys, which is disgusting for other customers and a pain for the owners. Yanbu for being agreived if your child was spotlessly clean but you can't blame them for being cautious. We had one little girl, who was no more than 2 who toddled in with a can of coke, took down a crystal goblet, poured her coke into it and drank it. It's a miracle the whole display didn't come crashing down but I suppose she had good taste!

I have children - happy, giggly little children who carefully pick up toys in shops to explore them then carefully put them back again where they found them. I don’t have bored, scared children who desperately want to give a jellycat bunny a cuddle in a shop but are too terrified to do it through fear of how I might punish them for this unforgivable sin 🤣

Also quit using the “bet you don’t have children” line on people. People without children are allowed opinions on how children should behave in spaces they share with them. Being a parent doesn’t make you the authority on whether people should touch things in shops 🤣 I pick things up in shops all the time - looove giving the avos a good squeeze in Tesco! Go on then, tell me off….🫵

I don't check firmness. No need to as the ones I pick are always perfect in their firmness. I pick ones that are ripe and sweet and full of flavour.

how then does one ascertain the squishiness of a squishmellow? Not that this sounds pertinent to OPs original point, but lots of kids have sensory issues and need to know that they would be comfortable playing with them (once bought)...

Not touching doesn't mean bored or scared. Kids can and are excited and happy using their eyes. Creating a false narrative doesn't really work.

I've never used the 'bet you don't have children' line on anyone so wind your neck in on that one! In fact I did the opposite and talked about how people who see a plane in a tree don't need a licence to tell if the pilot fucked up. So by all means crack on lying. I am not a parent so that is fucking hilarious that you have tried that one on me! How humiliating for you to try and tell me off for saying something I never have or would!

Well if you only get fun in your life by squeezing avos then maybe you need to get a hobby or something. Sad that your only enjoyment and pleasure is that in life.

how do know beforehand? Is it just blind luck?

If you were in a high end clothes shop and allowed your four year old to take the expensive clothes off the rack and walk about with them, you’d absolutely be told to stop her.
Why do you think you wouldn’t?

All of them are squishy - they are called squishmellows for a reason - the name itself tells you that.

Well once bought they will enjoy playing with it or not. That is the same with most kids. They either love toys or they stay in their toy boxes or under the bed for months untouched. Such is life.

Nope looking at the melon you can tell. The colour of it tells you if it is ripe or not (think green, yellow or brown bananas) the shape of it tells you, the ends of the fruit tells you - looking at the shape, colour etc. The discolouration on the skin tells you.

Basically if you know how to buy a ripe banana then the same applies with other fruit.

Ignore the haters OP, they’re delusional and you’re always going to get a load of people who will call you ignorant, rude, bitchy for the most trivial of things on MN…while behaving the exact same way. You can never win! I’m astonished on MN sometimes that so many people have so much time on their hands that they would argue for hours with a stranger on the internet about things like whether you’re being unreasonable for buying pre-cut vegetables etc 🤣 it’s insane. At least I’m sick, in bed with broken wifi, otherwise I would not be on this (no offence) pointless thread!

You might want to put your toys back in your pram first…

My 4 yo likes to hide in the rows of clothes in clothes shops and jump out at me! I’m sure while rubbing her hands and face all over them lol. At least she doesn’t get bored when we go shopping though!

Agree. This thread seems to have attracted quite a few unhinged posters with too much time on their hands!

YANBU

Totally ridiculous to moan about a CHILD picking up a TOY in a TOY SHOP. They are the target audience!

It would be different if you were going into Mint Velvet and let your child touch every item of adult clothing.

Jesus Christ.

It is clear who got told no as a child and who is still developmentally still working towards learning to accept it.

It is unreasonable to expect a four year old not to touch a toy. I have a two year old and when we pop into stores she may touch a toy that is to her liking.

However, she doesn't throw them around or make a mess - we don't let her.

I can't believe people expect children not to hold a toy in a toy shop as long as they are well behaved.

Just ask yourselves, as an adult when you are in a shop whether it be for clothing or food, do you not touch the product?

Most sane adults would feel a garment of clothing etc. at a store or select / inspect a fruit to their liking before putting it in their trolley - and they don't always buy it.

The staff need to put any delicate toys up on a higher shelf which only adults can reach then.

I am glad you didn't buy anything from the store OP, I will be honest, I wouldn't have made any comments back, although my partner definitely would have said a few things!

Correction…we ARE the cool relaxed parents 🤣 and I’m sure our kids are much happier. Not touching anything in a shop is not “basic manners”. Basic manners is saying please and thank you, not burping in public (farting ok if silent 🤣), learning to share, asking for things politely…you think teaching kids this stuff isn’t “parenting” and doesn’t take effort?